Chapter 22

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I wish I could say I stopped this self-destroying behaviour but I would be lying if I did. Every day I would go to a party, I would drink excessively, I would dance and I would make out with any guy who paid any interest in me.

Some could say I was partying my sorrows away. Avoiding confronting my reality buy ignoring it was never happening, and to them I would say, you're right. That is exactly what I was doing. Call me pathetic, weak, I don't care. My wolf was refusing to make an appearance, which was not good for my health at all, but she was depressed, and so was I. And how do we stop depression? By partying. At least that's what I tell myself, because when I'm out there having fun, I am not thinking about him. And when I do, it's one more shot, until I can't even remember what the sound of his voice sounds like.

One night when I was already quite intoxicated, a guy, Peter? took me farther into the woods and we started going at it strong and heavy. He kissed me lustfully, and his hands started squeezing my breast and ass. I moan at the pleasurable sensation, but then I remember what Aidan's hands felt like, and for a second when I opened my eyes it was him that was in front of me, touching me. I kiss him passionately, forgetting for a moment that I was meant to be angry at him, but I had just missed him so much. But the illusion doesn't last long. The sparks aren't there; his kiss wasn't the same.

Angry and frustrated I push Peter? away from me.

"Not happening tonight." I tell him trying to stay balanced in my own two feet. I really should drink some water.

"Whatever" the guy scoffs walking away "You were just an easy lay anyway."

His words act like a punch in the gut.

What the hell was I doing? How could I have fallen so far? Goddess, I'm so pathetic. I laugh at how pathetic I was being. I laugh until my laughs turn into cries. Why am I crying? I am so sick of crying. I search for my phone and luckily he was still safe in my jacket's pocket. I lean against a tree while I search for the right number. I let it ring.

"Hello?"

"I think I'm broken." I admit when she finally picks up.

"Nadia, is this you? Where are you?" she asks

"He didn't choose me, so I rejected him. I should feel good about it, but I don't." I ramble, my head was starting to spin a little bit, perhaps I should sit down for a bit. Yeah...that's what I'll do. "I'm just so tired."

"Nadia, I'm going to call your mother, alright?" she tells me "Can you tell me where you are?"

"In the woods. There was a party." I admit "Do you think I did the right thing? Should I have tried harder?"

"Nadia I know that you were hurt, and that rejection is hard even when we are the one's doing the rejection, but the answer does not revolve around partying and getting drunk with your friends." she scolds me

"I know. It just made me forget."

"You're mother is on her way, just stay where you are, okay? And tomorrow if you feel up to it, I want you to stop by my office. I think it's time you and I have a session."

"Alright Dr. Marshall. Thank you."

"See if you get some sleep." she advices and then hangs up the phone.

I didn't have to wait long to hear my mother running in my direction.

"Oh Nadia..." she says when she crouches down next to me to see how I am doing. "This has to stop honey."

"Please don't be mad." I beg sleepy

"I'll be mad tomorrow." she tells me "Come on, it's time to get you to bed."

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