The Fatal Flaw | LT

Epilogue

Epilogue

One year later

The soft grass felt cold on my bare feet as I padded towards where I was destined to go while my heels were dangling on my fingers. My white dress dragged on the grass and having it dirty was the least of my concern. The cold air nipped on my skin, the wind blew my perfectly styled hair in different directions but then again, I didn't care.

The past year wasn't easy. I dealt with all different kinds of emotions but one remains superior and its superiority ate me. Pain, I felt pain, pain of losing a part of me.

The morning of his funeral, I almost didn't want to get out of my bed; it didn't necessarily mean that I didn't want to go. In fact, I wanted it to be done but it's like I was stuck. I kept staring at the dress Harry picked out for me, the laces were too traditional and it was almost taunting me to start a fight with Harry but I didn't, I knew it wasn't his fault, it wasn't anyone's fault. Not mine, not Eleanor's and not Louis'.

I couldn't move that day, it's like my body and mind was wired not to move. If Gemma hadn't found me still in bed thirty minutes before the funeral, I was positive I couldn't have made it. Different people walked over to us and sent their condolences and I remember feeling angry, angry at how they were there when they didn't even know me or any of us at all.

After the funeral, I stayed silent for three months, I couldn't eat, I couldn't move and if it weren't for my family who were constantly checking up on me, I wouldn't even take a shower. Until one day, I knew I had to fix myself, for Louis, for Chance and for my family. There wasn't anything that drove me to it, like a quote on the internet or a scene from a movie, I just woke up one morning and I had this feeling that I knew, I had to move forward.

It wasn't easy, three months of grieving then three months of therapy, but I wasn't really fully healed. I was still hurting after excruciating sessions of therapy and Dr. Brenner said it was normal. I lost a part of me, it would take a lot of time to even get ninety percent healed.

Nine months since the accident we ended up moving in a nice place in north London, in Primrose Hill, a two-story house with a wide front yard and a swimming pool in the back yard. I got a job at the London Bridge Hospital but even as it was heartbreaking to me, Niall didn't come with us anymore.

He said he was contented with his record shop and tattoo shop. He still visits every weekend or sometimes we would go down to Manchester to visit him. He has a girlfriend now, much to Niall and Harry's dismay, Avery was a girl he used to I quote, bang. But it has been put aside now.

Harry is still Harry, he's still single, claiming he doesn't want to be tied up to just one and we just pretend to agree with him even though we know he'll feel lonely in three to five years or so. He lives in London now too, he went to uni again to be a teacher and we've been supportive as ever.

I smiled at the memory as I looked down at his gravestone on the ground. I know Gemma would be furious if I dirty up my dress but again, I didn't care.

"Hi, love." I whispered, feeling the tears well up in my eyes, I can hear Perrie's words in my head yelling at me to not ruin my makeup but I couldn't care less.

The wind suddenly became colder and I smiled, I could feel him.

"I wish you're here right now." I grazed my fingers over his carved name.

Ocean Beryl Tomlinson

"I miss you baby, every day." I smiled sadly, a tear escaping my eye. "We miss you, every day. People say I'm crazy for missing someone I didn't even meet but you are my son and it's really unfortunate that I didn't get to hold you."