Blood Sisters • The Vampire Diaries [1]

XLV. GOOD MOURNING

When I died, it felt like a quick nap, like I'd just fallen to sleep, except there were no dreams ; just empty, black, nothingness. And it was the only time nothing hurt, because there was no me. But, everything changed when I came back to life.

I woke with a start, gasping for air as I sat up, glancing around at my surroundings. In front of me, was Elena - tears staining her cheeks - Alaric, Stefan, and Damon, who's hand was on the back of my head, helping me sit up.

"Hey, you okay?" He asked, and I nodded, because I felt okay. Nothing felt off - not yet - I was alive, I was breathing, the people that I loved were surrounding me ; I thought I was fine.

Elena sighed, moving to throw her arms around me, embracing me in a hug. As I looked over her shoulder, my eyes darted past Stefan, past Alaric, looking for one person ; for Elijah. He was first to claim my thoughts, as I pulled away from my sister, wondering where he was.

"Where's Elijah?" I asked, glancing at my sister, before looking from her to the brothers, to Alaric. "Where is he? Did he kill Klaus?" Nobody said a word, exchanging glances between one another, and I got my answer.

He'd lied to me, betrayed me just like he said he wouldn't - how could he do that to me? After all that I'd done for him, I was the only one that trusted him - I mean, if it weren't for me, he'd still have a dagger in his back.

"No, no.." I shook my head, looking at Elena who shook her head.

"I'm so sorry.." She said, as I started to cry - it felt like all I was good for anymore, was crying - moving to embrace me once more.

I felt so stupid, so angry, but so sad all at once, so confused. It was like I was going through a whirlwind of different emotions all in a second's time, as I grasped onto my sister ; one of the last people I had left in the world.

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Jenna wasn't the only we lost that night. We lost John, too. He had sacrificed his life, in order for one of us to come back, worried that the elixir wouldn't work on both Elena and I, and I didn't know why, it hurt me as much as it did. I'd never gotten along with John, never cared much about him, even after I'd found out the truth about him being my father, and yet, I couldn't explain the sadness within me.

I walked behind Elena and Stefan, to the two freshly buried graves for Jenna and John, Damon leading me with his hand on the small of my back. I knelt down in front of their graves, two roses clutched in my hands, one for each.

I swallowed hard, as I placed a rose down onto Jenna's grave, before placing the second onto John's ; my father's. My eyes glistened with tears, thinking back to the letter he'd left for Elena and I - I couldn't even remember the last thing that I'd said to him.

It's no easy task being an ordinary parent to extrordinary children. I failed in that task. And because of my prejudices, I failed you girls. I am haunted by how things might have turned out differently if I had been more willing to hear your sides of things.

I cried, a sob escaping me as I looked at his headstone, wishing that I'd gotten one more moment with him, wishing that I had a chance to fix things, to tell him that I loved him. My heart had never felt so heavy, and I'd done this before, I'd lost my parents once already, but I'd never felt so heartbroken, so in despair, like I was engulfed in it.