Love is Weak

Chapter 13 - Wounds

Lillian

For the next couple days I tried to avoid Keith as much as possible. I really didn't want to admit to myself that I had kissed him.

Why? Why did I kiss him? Do I..like him? Is this what Kiana was talking about?

And even if I did, I wasn't supposed to like him. I had made a promise to myself. I would never fall in love. It would jeopardise any mission I ever went on, and it had the possibility of hurting the people in my unit. I couldn't let that happen.

So, instead of admitting to the slightest of crushes, I ignored it and trained instead. Not only that, but I wasn't ready to face the deaths of two Blade members. Since I was a senior officer, I'd be required to attend both departure ceremonies, and despite what Kolivan said about giving me a month to recover, he'd want to get them over with as soon as possible. Honestly, though, I didn't need a month to recover. I planned on being back at the base within a few days. What I really needed to get over was the kiss with Keith, and then I would face the deaths.

But maybe I shouldn't at all. I don't want to feel those wounds.

I fought my pain. Well, not really. I spent hours and hours in the training deck fighting a bot, getting to new levels, unlocking powers I didn't know the bot had, and trying to distract myself from everything.

Keith was out, obsessively searching for Shiro, and I felt his pain. The only difference was that I truly believed Shiro to be dead. Keith didn't, and I did not want to even attempt to have that conversation with him. However, I was worried about him. He was forgetting to eat, not sleeping much, and when he wasn't searching for Shiro, he was in the training deck. It concerned me, but I knew he was hurting. Was I supposed to say something?

One evening, on the third night after our attack on Zarkon, I trained way past dinner and late into the night. After the session, I walked to the kitchen, dripping in sweat and looking for a snack. I was about to turn the light on when I heard something that vaguely resembled the sound of someone rummaging through a drawer. I flipped the light on, my hand on my blade, and found Keith squinting in the bright light. He looked hot. Not by his looks, but yes, he was hot-looking, I mean — wait, what? He was visibly sweating and I knew it wasn't from physical exertion.

"What are you doing here?" He mumbled to me.

"I could ask you the same thing," I said.

"Just, looking for something," he said.

"For what exactly?" I asked, beginning my search for food.

"Nothing."

"Then you'd be perfectly fine leaving me alone to eat in solitude." I gave him a side glance. He was breathing heavily and wiping his sweat.

"I think I'll go to bed now." He sounded exhausted.

Against my better judgement, and before I could even think about what I was doing, I asked him, "Keith, are you okay?" I turned toward him so I could make a full assessment.

"I'm fine."

He really didn't look fine.

"Don't even try to lie to me, Kogane. You're clearly not fine. What can I do to help you?" I mentally kicked myself. I never, ever asked to help someone else, let alone a rookie who I was the instructor of. It was improper in my opinion.

"No, I only need rest."

"You don't look like you're going to make it past the door, Keith," I said, and stepped forward to support him. As he leaned on me, I could feel the heat of his body and put a hand to his forehead.