Love is Weak

Chapter 15 - Changing of the Guard

Keith

While Kolivan, Regris, and the Delta Unit prepared for their mission with Lance and Hunk, I left to search for Shiro again. There were a few miles of wreckage I hadn't scanned yet, and I wanted to double-check a few sections too.

He can't be gone. He can't be.

When I flew out of the castle in Red, I turned off communications and left myself to my thoughts. I wasn't completely sure if that was a good idea, but I needed to think through some things.

My mind kept circling back to one concept. Lillian. We had kissed. Twice. I wasn't sure if I had enjoyed it or not, but I did know that I had leaned in both times.

Does that mean I enjoyed it?

I shook my head.

Not necessarily.

Another thing I noticed, and was apprehensive to admit, was that I had slightly developed feelings for her. Well, now they had been crushed, and I probably wouldn't go running back, but for a time I had liked her. Even when I watched as she talked her unit through their plan, I couldn't help but feel the slightest admiration of her leadership skills. And then she had apologised to me for abruptly leaving.

What's this about a promise? To herself? To another guy? Who would she hurt in her unit? One of the boys, maybe, but how would our relationship hurt them?

I decided I didn't want to think about it.

I liked Lillian, and I would never tell her. I would stop speaking with her as a result of her abrupt behaviour with me.

That might not be possible, dumbass. She's your Captain, soon to be General.

I'd have to talk to her, missions only. I would not have small talk with her, and I would not act like I liked her. Instead, just business. And that was my promise to myself.

Great, now we both have promises to keep.

I turned my eyes back to the scanners. There was nothing, and I was frustrated. There had been nothing for the past few weeks. Why did I keep searching? Why couldn't I just admit that Shiro was gone and move on?

It's because you don't want to. This is the second time Shiro has disappeared, and the first time he came back. He has to come back again. He can't be gone.

I made sure to scan through the mile or so of debris that I wanted, double checking a few areas, and then turned my communications back on.

"There's nothing out here, Coran," I said. It was the first time I had admitted that, and I hated the feeling.

"I'm sorry, Keith," he said.

"I'm coming home."

I turned Red around and flew back toward the castle.

Lillian

Kolivan, Regris, and the rest of Delta boarded the Blue Lion. Our masks were up, and our blades tightly strapped to our uniforms as usual. After this mission, I'd be a general. In fact, I was acting as substitute general for the mission. Kolivan had put me in charge, and I really didn't like it. The position felt odd.

Lance radioed back to tell us we were taking off, and we all held onto some poles that stretched across the ceiling around the hatch. We'd be ready to jump out as soon as we made it to the drop zone.