Be Mine

48

The drive to La Union was quick. Caloy's mind was pre-occupied with so many things, mostly about Lia, that his driving was on autopilot. He didn't even notice what time he arrived, but the sun is just about to show itself. Their house is quiet, everyone is still asleep. He went inside his bedroom to rest, hoping for sleep, and his family got the shock of their lives when they saw him come out at around noon.

He paid all his attention to his Mom, whom he missed so much. He would take care of her most of the time, but it was also his way of avoiding his father and brother, who are still perplexed on why he is home early for the holidays. He is just thankful that they don't ask him anything, maybe because they don't know also what to ask him, until one night when his father saw him by the window, looking over the calm ocean, with a bottle of beer in his hand. This time, he knows he can't escape his father.

"Anak... mukhang napapadalas yan.", his father said, pointing at the beer. He just gave a small smile and took a gulp of his beer. "Gusto mong pag-usapan?"

Caloy sighs. He doesn't even know where to begin and all he could say is, "Magulo, Papa...", because his situation is really complicated.

"Pero mahal mo..", his father says. He looked at him in disbelief. "Kahit hindi mo sabihin, Caloy, alam ko kung bakit ka nagkakaganyan." He took another swig of his beer again, trying to avoid answering. "Hindi ka uuwi kung wala kang mabigat na problema. Yung huling beses na nagkaganyan ka ay dahil kay Melissa pa."

He shakes his head and thinking on whether he should laugh or agree with his father. It's really been years since he became like this. He's confused, lost, anxious, fearful, but above it all, he is still in love, and he doesn't know how to deal with it.

"Anak, kung ano man yung nangyari noon, wag mong ikukumpara sa nangyayari ngayon. Magka-ibang tao si Melissa and Lia.", he shot his father a questioning look.

"Paano niyo po nakilala si Lia?", he asks as he never mentioned anything to his family.

"Sa internet. Ipinakita sa akin ni Christian.", his father said that made him chuckle. He forgot that his brother follows him on social media and Lia is all over his posts. "Maganda siya, Anak. Mukhang mabait at bagay kayo."

He smiled at that. He wouldn't disagree on how his father described Lia because really, it's true, until he's not sure if she's really nice for not telling him about Gary. All he can say back is, "Hindi ko na alam, Papa."

"Nag-usap na ba kayo?", his father asks. He shook his head and took another swig of his half empty bottle. He doesn't even know if they should talk or if they did talk, will it be for closure already? Is it the end of the road for the two of them?

"Sinusukuan mo na ba, Anak?"

Maybe he should. Ever since that night, his mind can't unsee what he saw. Gary and Lia hugging each other, hearing Gary say those words. He is caught in between his best friend and someone he loves.

"Hindi ko talaga alam, Papa. Baka naman kasi hindi talaga kami para sa isa't isa."

Jaime sighs at his son. "Caloy, matalino kang bata. Hindi mo malalaman ang sagot kung patuloy mong tatakbuhan ang problema. Hangga't hindi mo siya kinakausap, hindi mo talaga alam ang gagawin mo. Hindi mo pwedeng takasan lang ang lahat, Anak."

He sighs and took another swig of his beer. "Bahala na, Papa. Hindi pa po ako handa."

His father scoffs. "Walang taong handa, Anak. Pagdating sa pag-ibig, walang oras para maghanda sa kahit na anong pwedeng dumating na problema. Kung mahal mo talaga siya, isa lang ang pwede mo paghandaan at yun ay ang ipaglaban siya. Naniniwala ako na kung para kayo sa isa't-isa, magiging kayo pero hindi pwedeng tadhana ang gagawa ng paraan. Kailangan mo rin kumilos, Anak, kasi malay mo gumagawa siya ng paraan pero ikaw itong umiiwas, hindi talaga kayo magkakatagpo niyan."