Up in Flames (Fire Force fanfic)

Chapter Forty Seven: Warmth

As I'm leaping across roof tops I notice Shinra flying towards the flaming arrows that are meant to strike down Benimaru. I continue to move towards my target, calming down knowing that Shinra is taking care of those damned arrows. I jump in front of the sniper and land a kick on their head.

The sniper staggers backwards clutching their head, "You...I see you didn't heed my warning."

"Eat shit. You don't scare me." I ignite my flames from my shoulder blades and charge at her.

She shoots her arrows at me and I turn them to the shape of dancing dandelion puff. I move my flaming wings to slice at her and she blocks using her bow of fire. We both jump back from each other, panting and clearly nearing our limits.

"Why can't you humans be grateful for the powers bestowed on you? The goddess gives you brilliant flames and you're not the least bit grateful. I don't understand you or her..."

"Grateful?! Grateful for what?! My family getting killed!! You white clad assholes showing up and attacking my comrades and neighbors!! Fuck you." I spit on the pavement.

"I have to leave. Next time I will finish what we started. Got it?" She runs and jumps off the roof.

I chase after her only to find an empty alley bellow. Damn them. Damn all of them. I slam my fist against the roof I'm standing on.

🌌🌌🌌🍶🌌🌌🌌

I come back to the guardhouse late from wandering the streets to find an open liquor store. Tonight was a long night and I'm going to drown myself in sake. I spot Benimaru drinking on the back porch as I jump the fence into the guardhouse's backyard.

Beni turn to me, "See we both had the same idea, huh?"

I sit down next to him and rest my head on his shoulder, "I've only told the full story of what happened ten years ago to Joker...and that was because I lost a round of poker to him. It's a long story but one that I need to tell you."

He pours me a shot of sake, "We have all night and two bottles of sake, so go ahead."

I down the shot and begin, "Ten years ago on the final night of Tsukimi, I woke up in the middle of the night. I wandered around my grandfather's home to find the bathroom. Then I saw this man standing outside in the shadows of the autumn trees. I froze back then, I just didn't know what to make of what was happening. The man walked towards me, under the moonlight I could see he had sandy blonde hair and an eyepatch. I've tried for years to remove that face from my mind but I could still recognize after all these years..." I pour myself another shot of sake, "He had five vials with these little bugs inside each of them. He grabbed my arm and pressed one of the vials against my skin. I remember the sick look of joy that lighted up his face as fire engulfed me. I remember thinking I might die...but I didn't. Those flames are mine to wield. Before I could even catch my breath I heard screams and saw my parents run out of their room on fire. Everything in their path was devoured by flames. They noticed me and tried to attack me in their blind bloodlust. I ran as fast as I could outside while everything was burning down around me. I fell on the driveway as they neared me. They would've got me if my grandpa wasn't there. He took down my father and then my mother with his newfound powers. And I had to kill my brother as he dragged me into the woods to finish me off. For months I swore I still had soot and ash on my hands from that night. That is the full tragic story of what happened to me ten years ago."

"And after that I assume your grandpa killed himself and that's what landed you in the church of Sol."

"Correct...for a few years after that night I would live in a constant state of paranoia. I would look around dark corners, under my bed, and look out my window to see if my boogie man came to claim me. But after some time that fear turned into a festering and burning hatred. All I could think about for some time was how I was going to kill the man who took my family away. I'd go to sleep with dreams of torturing him. It became my coping mechanism for a while. As I grew up, I decided to put that hatred away. Keep around for another day, maybe even erase the man I loathed from my mind. But you really can't trick yourself like that. Or so I've learned tonight. Now...I'm just confused and I don't know what to think. His face changed! The face that haunted me all these years was a fake. The face I feared and cursed was never real and I just don't know how to feel about it."

Beni wraps his arm around me and pulls me closer, "Clarisse...I'm the last person to judge you for being violent or acting on a whim. But...don't let yourself get killed and don't become cold." I must have looked confused because he continues, "If you're going to kill this man, will you be happy? Will you still be the woman I fell in love with? I suppose I'm just scared of you losing that warmth you have...that empathy and kindness that makes you stand out in company seven."

I hold onto him, "I just don't know anymore...I need to think on all of this. But I will come to you with whatever I plan to do."

He presses a kiss to my forehead, "I love you." He says under the starry sky.

"I love you too." I say to him, as I feel warmth return to me once more.