That's What They Told Me

Chapter 45

This is the last chapter before Epilogue. Thank you for all your support!
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Chapter 45

United

Eyes. Eyes are the windows to your soul... that's what they told me.

It's been ages. Many years have passed away, but I still wonder what my soul looks like. Is it pure, sweet, solemn, radiant, and innocent? Or is it... dark, violent, murderous, and shameful?

I wanted to know. I still want to know...

I was curious about my own soul and essence. About my purpose. But sadly, even if there's someone willing to glimpse through the window, fear would overtook their faces.

Or worse, they die...

Umukit ang mapait na ngiti sa akin nang muling binalikan ang lahat.

Iyong mga panahong musmos pa lang. Tanging problema lang ay tumakas tuwing Sabado o Lunes para masaksihan ang pagsikat ng araw.

O hindi kaya'y ang mga ganid na tao na gusto raw, hindi umano, na kunin ang mga mata ko kaya dapat ay laging suot ang artipisyal na maskara.

Thinking about trivial things like those is what feels surreal to me. Hindi ko inaasahang darating ang panahon na sasabihin kong gusto ko na lang balikan ang mga sandaling iyon.

Hindi para ulitin ang lahat simula sa umpisa, kundi para muling maranasan ang kapayapaan na dulot ng pagkamusmos.

Those were my thoughts before. While crying in front of my husband's cold body.

"Moma? You need five more minutes?"

I wiped my tears immediately before I faced my son. Mula sa puntod, nilipat ko ang buong atensiyon kay Azul.

"Sorry, baby. Just three more minutes. Are you getting bored, little boy?"

He shook his head diligently. "It's okay, it's okay! Take your time, Moma. I can play with Tito Nol. Ginawa ito nila sa akin!"

Azul showed me a ball toy, one that is made of leaves and probably created by Nol while waiting for us.

"That's awesome."

I gave him my sweetest smile before kissing his cheek. He giggled before waving at me.

My Victor Azulejo Castellano... Such a very patient boy.

Pagkarating niya sa gawi nila Aren at Nolfred na kasalukuyang nakabantay sa paligid, tinanguan ko ang dalawa bilang pasasalamat bago lapitan sila Mama at Ate.

"Time to say good bye to him," ani Mama.

I bit my lower lip and nodded. Niyakap ako ni Ate at sabay kaming nagpaalam. My eyes burned as I tried to keep my tears at bay.

"H-Hanggang dito na lang ulit. Miss na miss ka na namin, Ama. Kung nasaan man po kayo ngayon, alam kong masayang-masaya po kayo para sa amin. Pagbubutihan ko pa po lalo at mahal na mahal ka namin..."

We're at the back of the Fortress where my Father... and other Aurdels who failed to survive the most disastrous war in our history... were buried.

It's been exactly two decades when that tragedy happened. And today is their death's vicennial anniversary.

Lahat ay nag-alay ng tributo at parangal sa mga namayapa naming kapanalig. At ngayong malapit nang sumapit ang gabi, kami na lang ang natitira dito.

Anong oras na rin. Mas mabuti nga kung umuwi na dahil pagod na rin si Azul. Hindi ko namalayan ang ngiti.

At first, people thought that I named our son after my husband and father. Buong akala nila ay patuloy pa rin na kinikilala ang pangalan ni Ama, ni Azakiah, sa aming pamilya. Mula sa kay Azalea at Ahsaki, hanggang kay Azul at sa susunod pang henerasyon.