Why You?

Finale :')

Clarke's POV:

After spending the day at the beach with the group, we all went to the diner for dinner one last time. We talked, a lot. And that was when I realized that I knew them. But I didn't know them nearly as well as I would've liked to. For example, Raven was an aspiring mechanic, Octavia was going into the army as soon as she left school, Monty and Jasper (who had decided to join us later on in the day) wanted to start a weed legalization campaign, Murphy wanted to write stories, Mia wanted to become a singer and Lexa, Lexa wanted to become a leader, a prime minister or a leader for an activist group. I was in awe.

"What about you, Clarke? What do you want to do with your life?" Octavia asked from across the table.

I thought about it for a moment, "I have no idea. I can't think past today." I couldn't genuinely see myself living without Lexa as stupid as that sounded. She's all that I thought about, walking around school? Lexa was with me. Driving to the mall? Lexa was singing her favorite Taylor Swift song. Eating food? Lexa was there. She's all that I wanted, needed. And I was leaving that behind to go live with my mom and my teacher. Lexa sensed my unease and placed her hand on my thigh, rubbing comforting circles. I steadied my breathing and smiled. Right as my phone started ringing. I checked the caller ID, Mom. I quickly shut it off. Tonight was about my friends. I wasn't going to let my mom's dumb plans for me to get 'an early sleep so I'm less grumpy tomorrow' get in the way of that. Plus, it was only 8pm.

A waitress came over and Raven ordered us all our drinks which came in less than five minutes. Octavia took a drink and stood up. Holding it out for a toast, I rolled my eyes at the clicheness.

"To Clarke, the bitch from hell that I actually like now." I laughed at Octavia's pathetic attempts to be nice to me. Jasper stood up as well and raised his glass, followed by Mia, Raven, Monty, Lincoln, Harper and Lexa. I smiled with tears in my eyes and stood up with them.

"God, I love you guys." And with that we all clinked our glasses of sprite.

---

Three courses later and we had all filed out of the diner. The rest of the group decided to go home leaving me and Lexa in my car. It was silent until she spoke.

"So, this is really it." She turned to me and I huffed, nodding my head.

"Yeah. It is." I looked over at her and my eyes immediately filled with tears. I looked back down to my lap so that Lexa couldn't see but she knew me better than I knew myself. She wrapped her arms around me and I sobbed. A lot. I hated it, Lexa shouldn't have to be the strong one but she always was. And as I looked into her beautiful green eyes, I realized. This could be the last time we are ever together. This could be the last time she wraps her arms around me. This could be the last time I hear her voice that isn't over a phone. Last last last. It was all ending too quickly.

"I'm going to miss you so muc-" I began but she pressed a soft kiss to my lips instead.

"Let's not say goodbye yet." She replied as she pulled away. I quickly pulled her back in for a kiss that was both passionate and needy. I gripped at her sides, determined to not ever forget this moment. Our breaths soon turned heavy and uneven and we both pulled away for a breath, keeping our noses together.

"I love you, I love you, I love you." I said as I peppered her face with kisses, she chuckled and pulled my lips to hers once more.

"We could do long distance?" I offered. She sighed.

"Clarke, I would love to. But think about it. You're going to be in Polis, filled with hot girls and guys and I don't want t-" I cut her off.

"Sorry, what?" I gave her a look that I hoped said, 'what the actual fuck'. "You're the only 'hot girl' I know of so shut up." I folded my arms, upset that she would even bring up the idea of breaking up so I could hook up with others.

She gave me a soft smile and tilted my chin up to meet her eyes, "Clarke, I love you, so much. But perhaps this is the best for us." There were tears running freely from her eyes which made my eyes well up yet again, however this time it wasn't because I was heartbroken, no. I was angry.

"So what? We break up and become strangers?!" I was yelling now but I couldn't stop, "That's what you want!"

"Clarke-"

"NO! I don't want to leave you, I-"

"CLARKE!"

I stopped, I had never heard Lexa yell before, she grabbed my face between her two hands and kissed me hard.

"Please don't make this harder." And with that I broke down. She pulled me to her and hugged me, rubbing comforting circles on my back while I sobbed into her shoulder. I hated her for doing this to us but I also understood why, she wanted me to move on and begin a new life in Polis. I pulled away from her and started the car, only pausing to ask her.

"Can you at least spend the night at mine? One last time?" Her face softened and she gave me a small nod.

"Okay, one last time."

Lexa's POV:

Clarke unlocked her front door and pulled me inside. The car ride had been eerily quiet, both of us thinking about how we were supposed to live without each other.

"Clarke?" I heard Abby ask from the next room over. Clarke gave me a panicked look which told me I was not supposed to be here. She nodded her head towards a pile of boxes labelled 'Kitchen' I nodded and hid behind them.

"Yeah mom?" She replied, there was a short pause and the sound of footsteps coming into the living room.

"Oh darling." She clearly had seen Clarke's tearstained face, I peeked out from behind the boxes and saw Clarke, standing stiffly in her mothers arms.

"Get off me." She said, her voice shaking slightly. Abby gave her a long look before nodding and leaving the room. I get it, Clarke was mad. Abby deserved it if I'm honest. Once Abby had left, Clarke came towards me and we ran upstairs to her room. Clarke shut the door, a fresh wave of dread washed over me at the thought that these were truly, the last few hours we would get to spend together.

---

The morning came much too fast and Abby opened the door to Clarke's room, she stopped when she saw me, with eye bags under my eyes and mascara down my cheeks, holding Clarke in my arms and stroking her hair.

"Lexa, when did you get here?" She asked, I was about to answer when I felt Clarke stir and raise her head.

"She stayed the night." Clarke replied for me, I was expecting Abby to get angry but she just shook her head and left the room, navigating her way through the piles of boxes in the hall.

After Clarke and I had gotten out of her bed and changed, we heard the front door open and the sound of people walking in and out of the house accompanied by the occasional grunt of effort, clearly the movers were here, meaning that our time together was definitely ticking. I turned to Clarke and gave her a hug, she looked so scared and frankly, I was too. The movers worked their way up the house, clearing out every box. Someone knocked on Clarke's door and we let the workers in, I helped Clarke and the workers move the boxes out of her room, every time I would look up, Clarke was looking at me and I too found myself looking at her, but every time I looked away I feared I would forget her eyes, her hair, her arms, her clothes. We had gone through so much together and here I was, breaking up with her, hoping to make it easier but this was turning out to be the hardest decision ever.

---

All too quickly the trucks were packed and a haggard Clarke was standing in her doorway, me behind her. She took a deep breath and closed the door. Turning to face me.

"I love you." She said, "I won't forget you."

I took her hands in mine to stop them from shaking.

"I love you too Clarke. May we meet again."

Anddddd that's a wrap! Wow you actually made it this far?! Thank you so so so much for all of your support and I really hope you guys have an amazing 2021 :)

I love you <3

-Author