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lucas subconsciously held jungwoo's hand and caressed it out of habit. it has been a habit of lucas whenever they talk about something serious or when lucas had to ask jungwoo about something.

jungwoo looked a little surprised when lucas held his hand and caressed it, he looked at it and felt the pain all over again. he missed how lucas touched and loved him, bow it felt for lucas to be just there... broke his heart.

jungwoo bit his lip, looking away trying to hide his tears, but when lucas turned to look at jungwoo, it broke his heart to see jungwoo's tears. it still hurt him to see jungwoo like this.

lucas hugged jungwoo after he saw him crying.

"but... doyoung.. why... do...young...why," jungwoo asked as he sobbed.

"i was drunk when i suddenly kissed doyoung. when he came into my room asking for alcohol because he was upset at taeyong. we were both sad. and you know how doyoung is. he would kiss anybody who isn't taeyong without thinking about it, because that's nothing to him. he kissed me back not because he liked me or wanted me, but because i wasn't taeyong."

"then why did you do it again? and again? and again?" jungwoo asked.

"because i longed for your touch, for your kiss, but you weren't around. so every touch and kiss doyoung gave me, i imagined it was you."

"jungwoo, don't you get it? you are the first person i have ever loved like this. you fixed me when i wasn't going in the right way. you helped me, jungwoo. you helped me find myself," lucas said as he wiped jungwoo's tears.

"i... i don't know what to say."

"you don't have to," lucas said as he pressed his lips against jungwoo and jungwoo kissed back, putting his hand behind lucas' head, deepening the kiss.

in between the kiss, lucas managed to say, "fuck, i love you."

"i love you more."

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