another two days had passed of mingyu locking himself up in the bedroom of his apartment. he ignored both his brother and all the phone calls from none other than hansol, junhui, chan and even the girls he had been cheating with.
as depressing as it sounds, he just couldn't get himself to just barge back into the public and go on with his daily life. not after what he had done to wonwoo. and himself along the way.
if he just had been honest with him from the start and finally made an end to all those contacts he held beside his relationship. it wouldn't have been that hard if he just looked for a job that paid enough for him and namjoon to pay off the apartment's rents. especially if namjoon was planning on moving out with seokjin soon, a proper job could do no harm.
yet still, mingyu somehow couldn't bring himself to just cut it off. these platonic types of relationships had never contained any form of value, beside the good amount of money he made out of it. he just didn't understand why he had to be so stupid..
the only thing he did all day was yearn for wonwoo. his touch full of tenderness, the way he held him so gently, his angelic soft kisses, his scent fresh and sweet as if he stepped out of a literal romance. he missed his majestic curly hair, where he loved to ruffle through. he loved how ticklish wonwoo was and even twitched and started giggling from the slightest touch.
those giggles. if only he was able to hear his laughter all over again, close to his ear, filling mingyu's entire body with a feeling of euphoria and pride. pride to finally have found someone, who actually cared about him and loved him in a way no one else could.
but just because of the stupid mistakes he had made, wonwoo was gone now.
"hey little bro?" a knock on mingyu's door was heard, making mingyu roll his eyes in annoyance. it had been silent and calm all day on the other side of the door, why did namjoon had to disturb that..
mingyu got up from his bed and slammed on the door once, wishing for namjoon to leave him alone. "get lost." he yelled, walking over at the window as he threw a glance up at the late afternoon sky.
yet still he heard the hinges of his door creaking, making him look back in anger. "didn't i tell you to get lost? why the fuck are you in my room without my permission."
"and the old mingyu is back.." namjoon sighed out of exhaustion, taking the risk of sitting down on mingyu's bed without approval. "look, i know you're about to complain about privacy and stuff like that. but we need to talk. you've been acting pretty odd the last three days and i haven't seen you leave your room beside necessary things either. what happened between you and wonwoo?"
mingyu hated how predictable he'd been. yet still wasn't able to admit his grief, the pooling anger in his stomach rising up and spreading through his entire body. "just leave me alone, i don't feel like talking about it." he huffed.
but namjoon wasn't one to give up easily, unlike the past few days when he had let mingyu be. "but i'm your big bro! come on man, talk to me."
"we're not talking about wonwoo. it's not up to you to ask me such question." mingyu ignored his brother's questioning look and stared back up at the sky, leaning onto the window sill to get rid of his anger some how.
"you need to talk about it at some point. i haven't seen you this hurt in ages." namjoon went on, which made something snap in mingyu as the younger raised his volume out of a sudden.
"oh and now i need to talk, huh? now i need to fucking talk? we haven't talked about anything beside the regular in seven fucking years! easy for you to say 'you need to talk' when you've been dating that boyfriend of yours for five years!" mingyu shouted out, releasing his aggression on the visibly unfazed namjoon.
"we've barely even spoken since then, do you actually think i want to discuss this with you? right now? well you know what, i could've done that with him, if i didn't fuck things up like how i do with everything else in my life!"
the sudden silence was overwhelming to mingyu, while namjoon hadn't moved a single muscle. his facial expression remained plain and he didn't even flinch when mingyu rose his volume.
"then talk to him."
"i can't fucking talk to him when i messed things up! can't you understand for once?" mingyu noticed he was on the verge of breaking down in tears, yet he clenched his fists to prevent that.
"you know what, i think you should talk to him." namjoon decided, getting up from the bed to give mingyu some personal space again. "i haven't seen you this happy ever since our parents died. it was as if that wonwoo brought out the side of you i haven't seen in the past seven years."
realization hit mingyu in the gut and only made the burden on his shoulder heavier. "you can't just talk about their death like that-"
"-mingyu listen to me, as your brother i'm only giving you advice." namjoon spoke in full calmth while walking towards the door. "i'm just saying you should talk things out. in a relationship you'll always experience hardships. me and seokjin have been through a lot of them too. we still go through them. and i know the things you've been doing for the past few years, which were in my opinion absolutely not wise."
"but i'm just saying. that wonwoo seemed quite important to you. it would be a shame if you let him slip already. he really changed you for the best mingyu."
and with that, he closed the door, leaving mingyu all by himself. he realized, that wonwoo had been the one who filled up the void feeling he had experienced in the past seven years. and not only as a replacement, he'd actually also experienced how it felt to be truly in love.
yet he knew, his actions were unforgivable, and it might just be for the best if he didn't return. he would only cause wonwoo more harm..
