the realization that had dawned back upon wonwoo gave mingyu enough allowance for him to take in the safe scent and to swirl his fingers through his curly hair. it was, without a doubt, the best hug they'd ever shared and seemed to last forever. meanwhile the room was filled with silent sobs and a somewhat warm atmosphere. the summer afternoon sun finally seemed to have purpose again, unlike all the monsoon rain that had fallen upon them for the past days.
it was as if nothing changed. as if all the happenings that had taken place within the painful week had never even happened in the first place. though there was still an undeniable heavy tension between the two, beside the warm hug they shared where both boys refused to let go. scared to death that it would be their actual last one this time.
"of course that wasn't our last hug.. it was killing me wonwoo.." mingyu interrupted the silence with a bare whisper, clinging tighter onto the boy underneath him. "i am so sorry won."
it was the first time he muttered an apology. mingyu was well aware that no matter how many apologizes he'd give to wonwoo, he would remain unworthy of his love. but that didn't hide the fact that mingyu would to anything to get wonwoo back.
he would travel across every ocean, fly up in a space shuttle to the galaxy to pluck him a star, just to be with his precious wonwoo again.
there had been no one for him in the past seven years the way wonwoo had been there for him. wonwoo had been his home since the first time they met back on that beach. and though it wasn't the parental type of love he had missed for the past few years, receiving the homelike type of love wonwoo was able to give him might be even better.
"why w-wasn't i enough for you mingyu..?" wonwoo muffled his sobs by pressing his face against mingyu's shoulder. the way he touched the taller was still as tender as how it used to be, making mingyu even more emotional.
"you're always enough for me, and you've always been.. it's me who messed up this time.." mingyu leaned back a little by pressing himself up on his elbows, seeing the damage he had caused on wonwoo's face, which consisted of red eyes and a grimace of pain shadowing over him.
oh how he wished to devour those beautiful lips and never let go ever again. or how he wanted to treasure every second they spent together, since it was unsure if they still had a future ahead.
"c-can i please explain?" mingyu carefully asked, their foreheads slightly brushing against each other as he spoke. it took the small nod for mingyu to entirely move back up again, guessing wonwoo might need some space after the unexpected hug and the fresh memories that had flooded his mind just a few minutes ago.
mingyu managed to calm himself down for the biggest part when wonwoo sat beside him, their thighs slightly touching, which gave the tall boy more courage to speak up. the proximity between them had been initiated by wonwoo himself, which gave mingyu a spark of hope that there would be time left for them.
"you know about my parents who died seven years ago, right?" wonwoo nodded understanding as the two shyly made occasional eye contact. "i was only ten at the time and found it really hard to accept. so when i turned twelve i started having this really rebellious behavior. which turned into smoking and sometimes even a little drugs at the age of fourteen."
mingyu felt so ashamed of himself in front of wonwoo, yet still continued as he wanted him to know. "when i was fifteen i found out my brother had a hard time to pay off the monthly bills for our apartment, so i started helping him. but as a fifteen year old teen they barely ever employ you in a store or anything like that. so after asking around town in every single store, i started going on dates and stuff like that in return for a reasonable amount of money."
"now, not only did i do it for the money. i was craving for something.. which i understand now. all this time i craved for love. which i haven't felt since my parents died. and when i met you for the first time, i finally felt like everything would be okay again. my cigarette addiction started getting way less, since i didn't need to numb my pain with nicotine no longer. i didn't even feel my past grieve anymore whenever you were around."
"but.. i guess i got greedy for more.. and for the money of course.. i only did it twice in our relationship and i swear i had no hook-ups back then.. but it made me feel horrible knowing that i did that behind your back. but i just really s-still felt the need t-to help my brother out with paying our bills.. and i'm so sorry i did all this to you wonwon.."
he didn't even notice he let the nickname slip so easily as he hid his face away in the palms of his hands, not wanting to show wonwoo his vulnerable side. the silence that filled the room after mingyu was done speaking was hard to bare, realization dawning upon mingyu that wonwoo indeed deserved better than the mess he was.
"i-i'm so sorry.." mingyu chocked out again, too scared to look up.
until a warm pair of hands reached for both his cheeks and gently moved his face away from his own hands so wonwoo would be able to look him directly in the eyes. his thumbs caressing mingyu's skin, wiping away the tears that fell down and assuring him more safety than he'd felt in days.
"we'll figure it out." were the only words wonwoo spoke through his tears, while an honest smile tugged on his lips. mingyu knew wonwoo had never been well with words, but those were the only ones needed for him to believe in another chance. "just.. please speak with me about it next time."
"y-you're so worth it, jeon wonwoo. don't ever tell yourself otherwise." mingyu spoke before he moved up in a quick motion and connected their lips together in a kiss that had been needed by the two of them more than anything in the world.
and maybe this time, everything would be alright.
