for, liar

Chapter 83

"How was your nap?" I ask Miles who has made zero attempts to get out of the same spot I left him in four hours ago.

"Extraordinary. Your mother wasn't too mad was she?"

I shake my head and find a vacant spot on the floor for the few shopping bags I had been carrying around. My arms are as relieved as I am to finally be putting them down.

"I told you she wouldn't really care. She saw that you were tired and it gave us a good chance to catch up."

He sits up and pats the spot on the bed next to him. I take that as an invitation to sit down.

"As nice as my three hour long nap was, I did miss you terribly."

He leans over, wrapping his arms securely around my waist and pulling me against his abdomen.

"How sweet of you." I say.

He chuckles and buries his face into the side of my neck. His breath is warm and as soon as it hits my skin, I've got chills forming.

"So now I get you for the rest of the night?" He whispers into my ear and moves one of his hands down the side of my hip.

"We still have to have dinner with her. She's cooking now."

"Mhm, alright." He whispers, grazing his teeth across my ear.

I can't help but laugh. I'm assuming he wants that to be a turn on but it's way more ticklish than anything.

"Did you want to talk about something?" I ask him.

He pulls away and cocks his head to the side. "Talk about what?"

I bite down on the corner of my lip. I've been meaning to talk about it since it happened. We made it something that has just been unaddressed all day and that doesn't sit right with me.

"Thanksgiving. The bedroom. The sex."

"Ah..." he begins and shifts uneasily out of his sunken spot in the bed.

I find it adorable that he's totally fine with committing the act and uncomfortable with talking about it.

"We can talk about it right?"

"Yes, of course. Though I'm unsure of what exactly you're trying to ask about."

I shrug and prop my head up against my arm. "Nothing specifically. I just think we should talk about it. We haven't said anything about it and you're initiating it now so let's take a breather and talk about it."

He laughs under his breath. "I'm not initiating it but sure, let's talk about sex."

"Okay." I pat his chest and sit up.

I pull my legs into the criss-crossed position and rest my arms in my lap. He leans up against the backboard and crosses his arms. The freshly shaven face he had a few days ago was already covered in stubble. It suits him so damn well that I wish it would stay exactly like that.

"I wasn't entirely sure what the reason was for you wanting to wait. Even when you tried to explain it, I still didn't get it but now after that night I think I'm starting to get it."

His eyebrows shoot up. "And what are you starting to get, Bree?"

"The way you touch me. The caution and gentleness that comes with everything you do. Not wanting to talk about it afterward and even the hesitation when it came to putting a condom on." I pause for a second. "Were you a virgin?"

He inhales sharply and his face reddens. I knew for awhile but I kept thinking maybe he felt strongly about it because he was nervous of being intimate with me. Then I realized he was just nervous to be intimate with anyone.

"Was it that obvious?" He half laughs and buries his face in his hands.

"No! Of course not. It also didn't make a difference, I just wanted you to feel like you can be honest with me about this."

He lowers his hands and looks at me. "You were just way more experienced than me and it's not like I never got offers I just...I wanted it to be right. It never felt right with anyone else."

"Did it feel right with me?" I ask him.

"Hell yes."

We both laugh and he cradles me into his arms again.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I didn't want it to be weird." He says.

I get that. I probably would've been more standoffish if I knew he didn't have any experience. Not even out of judgment or worry but because I know sexual intimacy means a lot to people especially when it comes to their first time.

"It's okay. Did you at least have a good first time?" I ask.

He laughs and nods his head. I was about to say if he didn't, he sure fooled me.

"So what made you change your mind? Why all of a sudden you felt like you were ready?"

His fingers meet the ends of my hair and he twirls it around, avoiding making eye contact with me. It's cute how awkward this conversation has made him.

"I'm not sure. It had been a long day and the more time I spent with you, the more I realized just how insanely in love I am with you."

"Ugh, you're so cheesy." I tease, nuzzling my face into his green t-shirt.

"I know, I know but I'm serious. I love you and I finally found some courage so I wanted to make love to you to show you that."

I blush and lean my head back. I had not heard anyone our age refer to it as "making love" but that actually makes me really happy that he does, no matter how cheesy it sounds. He takes everything we do together very seriously, so it only makes sense that he intended for our sex life to be meaningful too. It's a little old fashioned and I love that. I love him.

"No one I've ever been with ever looked at it like that. Sex as a whole construct has changed drastically with each new decade that I really thought I would never come across a guy who didn't look at it as just fucking."

His eyes widen slightly at my brutal honesty. No guy I've been with looked at sex as anything other than an activity. Love or passion didn't have to be involved and that's just the way it was. Turns out, it makes a world of difference for both partners the other way around.

"Yeah, well hopefully you've realized by now that I'm not exactly like every other guy." Miles says and pokes at my nose.

I wiggle it as he lets out another soft giggle. "Thank God for that."

My mom finishes cooking dinner around seven. She decided to stray away from the average Thanksgiving meal and made what my grandmother used to cook every year. No matter what kind of event we were going to and who was going to be there, my grandma didn't show up without a ginormous pot of chicken and dumplings. It worked in everyone's favor because her dish would always be the first to be cleaned out so you had to hurry fast before it was all gone.

"Is this grandma's recipe?" I ask and can't help but smile.

"You know it." She responds and passes me a bowl.

Miles tastes a bit of his, obviously unfamiliar with the dish. His mouth drops and he looks at her.

"I have never even heard of this but wow."

Mom smiles and pats him on the back. "Get as much as you like. I made plenty."

Days like this really make my heart ache from how much I've missed being home.

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