for, liar

Chapter 55

"How did your weekend go?" I ask her and watch as she checks the timer on her phone.

There are two minutes left.

"Fine, why?" She responds.

I walk over to the fridge and grab a bottle of orange juice from the door. She breaks eye contact from me and checks the oven.

"I was worried about you." I crack open the bottle and take a swig.

She glares at me and slides the oven mitt onto her hand. "Didn't seem like that since you just got up and left me."

I don't want the arguing to begin but she's already pushing it. I have to find a way to talk about this without making a scene again. I've been worried sick all weekend.

"Well we weren't on the best of terms and you told me to leave you alone. I shouldn't have left like that but you have to understand where I was coming from. I was really upset with you."

She nods her head and pulls a large butter knife out of the drawer. I don't know why, but I flinch. She would never hurt me. Not physically at least.

"But my feelings don't matter? Me being upset doesn't matter? It has to be about you all of the time?"

She digs the knife deep into the loaf and cuts it in slices. How can she get the slices so even?

"I wasn't making anything about me. You were the one that turned it around on me because I was babying you or some shit." I mutter.

She pulls a couple of saucers from the dishwasher and sets them on the counter. "You were babying me. You don't think I can handle myself."

"You haven't given me a reason to believe that you can."

"As my best friend you should just trust me."

We aren't yelling at each other but this feels like an argument. She carefully slides two slices of the cinnamon loaf out of the pan and places them on two of the saucers.

"This has nothing to do with trust. This has to do with the fact that you clearly aren't taking care of yourself and won't listen to any person who just wants to help you."

She picks up both plates and faces me, finally making eye contact again. "I'm doing great, Bree. Thanks for your concern. I cried about it, talked about it, and am now coping with it so please let me do me and stop micromanaging every little thing I do because you believe I should be doing something different."

She shoves the saucer in my direction and forces me to grab a hold of it before she lets go. It would've shattered onto the tile if I had not grabbed it. A lot of things could have shattered if I wasn't there and somehow Maddy still refuses to see the impact I've had.

She's the first person to brag about all of the things she's done for me and how she's helped me, but to her I've done nothing. It's as if it was my obligation all along and she either doesn't believe it or doesn't want to admit that I have always cared more than her about our friendship. About anything.

"Fine. I'm sorry I overstepped my boundaries." I say.

Of course I'm the one fucking apologizing first. This shit is as toxic as my relationship with Ben sometimes. I am able to admit that to myself and still won't fight for a change.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you and told you to leave. I didn't want you to leave." she responds.

I nod and glance at the floor. I have zero appetite to eat this cinnamon bread.

"Can we just get over this? I miss my best friend." she asks when I don't say anything else.

I would love to if she would listen, learn, and own up to her shit.

"Yes, of course." I give in.

Why do I keep doing this?

She smiles and walks over to the table to sit down. She looks at me when she realizes I wasn't following her and nods toward the chair in front of her. I walk over and sit at the table with her. She smiles again and uses her fork to dig a piece of her dessert off  to take a bite. I take my phone out of my front pocket and send a quick text to Miles in case he is still waiting for me.

"You can head home. I'll call you later."

He responds right away. "r u sure? everything ok?"

I send back my infamous response of the thumbs up emoji. I hear his car crank up from outside and glance out the window to see his car pulling out of the parking lot.

"So tell me about the beach." Maddy says and takes another bite.

I still haven't touched mine. Would it be rude not to eat any? I'm not hungry at all.

"It was really nice. Miles' mom was such a sweetheart and the beach was beautiful."

"What does she look like? Just like him?"  she asks.

I shake my head. "No, not at all. She's got this beautiful auburn hair. She's very thin and loves coconut perfume."

"That's cute. How did Miles deal with the whole thing? Did he act normal or was he all awkward about having you meet her?"

"It wasn't awkward at all. They were very welcoming and if anything I think it brought me and Miles closer." I answer.

She gives me a look. "Oh yeah? How close?"

Oh my God.

"Maddy, stop. The trip was adorable and he's really sweet."

"I know he's sweet but don't tell me you guys still haven't done anything. What the hell are you waiting on? He is so hot."

And to think for a few minutes I was going to get over our argument and be fine.

"We're just waiting. Not for anything in particular. I don't mind waiting." I mumble.

She can always tell if I'm stretching the truth a little. "Oh come on, girl. I know you would've jumped in on that for the first date if he would've let you. I know you're picky with your men but when you have one in your sight, there's no mercy."

Why does she act like I have some big fucking body count like her list that started freshman year? I've been with three guys in my life and only two sexually. I see nothing wrong being picky with who I want to share those experiences with. I feel an immense connection with Miles so yeah, of course I want to but I can and am willing to wait.

"It's not like that, Mads. This relationship is nothing like I've had before. I'm perfectly fine with how things are going right now."

"You're right. I should stop bugging you about it."

Did I just have an aneurysm? I think I need to hear that again.

"What did you say?" I ask.

"I said you're right and I should stop bugging you about it. It's not my business but I do hope you tell me when it finally does happen because we tell each other everything and it's your obligation as my best friend."

I laugh and finally take a bite of the bread. My taste buds are dancing on my tongue and I lose my train of thought. "Right, how could I forget about my many obligations?"

Revised;