for, liar

Chapter 25

"So what was your dream when you were growing up? What did you always want to be?" I ask.

We're laying in the grass staring up at the stars. I lost track of what time it was hours ago. I lost track of just about everything because nothing really matters right now except for him.

"You're going to laugh if I tell you." he says and turns his head toward me.

I shake my head. "No way yours is worse than mine." I giggle.

"Okay, you first."

I bite the tip of my tongue and contemplate not giving in. I might as well go first since I brought up the topic. "I wanted to be an actress. For the longest time when I was a kid I was so infatuated with acting that I watched literally any movie I could find in my dad's attic. Then I would write down the lines and try to act like the character. It was horrible and embarrassing and I'm mad I just told you that."

Miles laughs, turning over on his side to face me. "That's not embarrassing. I think every kid at some point wanted to be an actor."

I scrunch my nose at him and shrug my shoulders. Now wasn't the time to go into detail of what I've been passionate about recently because then I'd have to explain a lot.

"What about you then?" I ask as I put my finger against his chest and push a little into his soft skin.

He inhales, biting down on the corner of his lip. "I had a few phases of things. A chef, a professional skateboarder, wrestler, lawyer, doctor..."

"So basically everything?"

He nods. "I couldn't decide!" He chuckles. "I never really could focus on just one thing."

"Mmm, well I hope that has changed a little bit." I taunt and lean towards him.

Miles gives in instantly as he moves his arm around my waist and presses his lips softly against mine. This has been the most perfect night. I would be fine if everything could just stop right here where we are.

After a minute, Miles breaks away and sits up in the grass. I take that as my queue to sit up as well so I'm not the only one still laying down.

I watch his eyes dart to the trail and back at me. It seemed like he was looking for something but knew he wouldn't find it. Or he had just seen something.

"Everything okay?" I ask and raise my brow.

"Yes! Perfect. I should probably get you home. It's getting pretty late and it's not a great idea to be around here this late at night."

"Ah, now you sound like my mother." I joke and push myself to my feet.

He stands up and grabs his keys from his jacket pocket.

"I didn't mean to."

Damn, I was just kidding. What distracted him that badly?

"I'm kidding, Miles. Lighten up."

I nudge his arm again and he smiles uneasily. His whole demeanor had changed in seconds.

Before I could say another word, he grabbed my hand again and walked me quickly back in town towards the car. I wanted to talk more and get as much information as I could, but whatever he saw or didn't see back at the park made him start acting all weird.

I climb in the car, practically out of breath from the fast pace walking and look at him. His cheeks had turned a light shade of pink and he had a few beads of sweat on his forehead. There's no way he doesn't feel this awkward tension now. Why won't he say something?

"Did you want to play some music? I've got an aux cord." He says halfway down the road.

"Um, sure." I respond flatly and plug up my phone to the car speakers.

I flip through Spotify looking for a random playlist and shuffle one of my Daily Mixes. Secrets by OneRepublic starts playing and I cringe remembering how much Ben used to play that band whenever we were together. He has the biggest man crush on Ryan Tedder.

Miles is completely silent all the way back to my apartment. Was I not supposed to kiss him? He was the one who kissed me first at the restaurant so it only made sense that I return the favor. He didn't seem like he was against it considering he almost put his tongue down my damn throat in those forty seconds of heaven.

He parks right up front and I relax when I notice Maddy's car there. I hate that I even considered she would leave the apartment when she said she'd be home, but she does like to disappear without telling anyone. I just really hope she's asleep. They are not meeting when he's in a bad mood.

"Did you want to come inside?" I ask him and he looks surprised hearing those words come out of my mouth.

Honestly, I am too. I never thought I'd have the nerve to invite a guy inside my place on the first date. I just feel like this is different and I kind of wanted to make sure he was okay.

"I would love to but I really gotta get going. I had an amazing night, though."

Wait, what?

He kissed me mid panic attack like I didn't fuck everything up and now he's here completely denying my offer to come inside so I'm left alone to dwell on the fact that I totally did fuck this up? I can't be convinced otherwise that I'm the reason this went downhill so fast. Why couldn't I just have denied the guy to spare another heartbreak ?

"I'll call you." He assures me whenever I don't respond.

I'm sort of at a loss for words again because I truly believed we had a great time, but now I'm not really sure. I guess it's time to go think about everything I've done wrong for the rest of the night until Maddy gets up in the morning and I can talk it over with her.

"Goodnight Miles." is the last thing said before we go our separate ways.

Once I'm inside and shut the door behind me, I lean up against it and sink down to the floor.

I didn't expect this night to end this way at all.

Revised;