for, liar

Chapter 93

"As much as I would much rather stay in and be alone with you on New Years, I did promise my mom we'd come to the block party."

I'm always dragging him to some weird party either my parents or my friends are throwing. It wouldn't be right to miss out on the block party I go to every year for New Years Eve. Even Maddy said it wasn't that bad when I dragged her ass to it last year.

"People still throw block parties?" Miles asks with a raised brow.

"Yeah. The neighborhood my mom lives in is super chill. The town I grew up in wasn't that big and some of my childhood friends lived there so I see them once a year to catch up."

He nods and continues to scroll through his news feed on his phone. I finish up making lunch and walk over to the table with our plates. Jeff approved for me to have this whole week off so I don't even go back to Scream Beans until January 2nd.

"What do you want to drink?" I ask Miles who is still super distracted from whatever is on his phone.

I thought he was looking at memes or something but he seems more out of it than usual. As nosy as I am, I'm not going to invade his privacy and ask what's going on. Not unless I really think something is wrong.

"Water is fine." He responds without looking up.

I grab two plastic cups from the cabinet and return back to the table with our drinks.

As unskilled as I am in the kitchen, these grilled chicken sandwiches look amazing. I've been trying to be better about learning new things to cook so I'm constantly searching up easy recipes on Pinterest. Miles is a better cook than me by far but he never fails to let me know he's grateful when I cook for him.

"Do I have to wear anything fancy?" He asks with a mouthful.

I shake my head and take a few sips from my cup. He finally put his phone down.

"No, it's just New Years."

He gives me a thumbs up and continues eating. "No horrendous sweaters?"

"No." I laugh.

His screen lights up a few times but he ignores it. Thankfully, I'm too far away to read the name. It's not my business who's steadily messaging him.

When we're finished eating, I make use of my time to wash a load of laundry and clean up around the apartment just so I won't have to worry about it this week when the new year comes.

Miles ends up falling asleep on the couch watching some action movie. I walk over and turn the volume down so the sounds of car engines and explosives don't wake him up. He always looks way too peaceful when he sleeps. I wonder if he's dreaming.

When the apartment fits my tidy needs, I climb up on the opposite side of the couch and throw one of my blankets over both of our legs. Thinking I was just going to rest my eyes, I end up falling asleep too.

I haven't had any dreams since the nightmare on Christmas Day. I was worried that one was going to sneak its way through but instead, I got a good dream.

The weather is perfectly clear and I'm standing in an open field at the park in Charlotte. I look around to find the purpose of what I'm supposed to be seeing, thinking deep down it must be something interesting or of importance.

I don't see anything.

It's just trees and a few people walking by every once in a while. For a second I'm worried that I'm not actually dreaming and I'm concerned about how I got here. I hate lucid dreaming but it's the only way I can assure myself that I'm still asleep so I try to alter it.

I take off through the field and run as fast as I can. If I wasn't lucid dreaming, I wouldn't be able to run. That's the first sign.

I jump over a few branches and go deeper into the woods. My mind can be strong enough to change this if I really try. Holy shit, I haven't had a lucid dream in a long time.

I stop running and try to catch my breath but then I realize that I don't need to. That's another sign.

I hear the leaves rustle behind me and whip my head around to find out where the noise is coming from. Miles is standing there just like I had hoped.

"Hey." He says slowly.

His face is a little blurry just like in all of my dreams but I still know that it's him. His voice is clear enough and I can see it in his body language.

"Do you think people have bizarre dreams for a reason?"

I'm confident I'm dreaming. I don't know how common that is but I've definitely heard of people before being aware that they're asleep and manipulating their dreams however they choose.

"I'm not sure what you mean." He says.

He tilts his head at me and leans against the trunk of a tree.

"Every time I have some obscure dream, I always feel like it's supposed to mean something. That's crazy, right?"

He laughs and it sounds exactly the same. I can't believe my subconscious mind is able to portray him so well.

"You're a very superstitious girl." He responds.

"I'm more paranoid than anything." I admit.

"Well why is that?"

He takes a step towards me and my feet are frozen in the dirt. I may be aware that I'm dreaming but I can't control this one anymore. I should've woken myself up before a nightmare began. I knew it was going to at some point.

"I don't know. Sometimes I have these people that I love more than anything who have given me no reason not to trust them and yet..."

His face is inches from mine. It's starting to clear up a little and I'm getting nervous.

"And yet what?" He whispers while moving his hand to the strands of hair always falling into my face.

"I don't trust them."

Everything goes black and I can feel my mind jolt me out of my sleep. My eyes snap open. I'm still on the couch but Miles isn't there anymore.

I quickly shuffle to my feet and look around. "Miles?"

He pokes his head around the corner from the kitchen. "What's wrong?" He asks and walks over to me.

I relax and take a deep breath. "Nothing, sorry. I was just wondering where you went."

He lifts up the mug of hot chocolate in his hand and offers it over to me. "I was making you some cocoa." He says, forcing a smile.

I bite my lip and take the mug into my hands. "Thank you. I didn't even realize I fell asleep." I mumble.

"Me either. It's nice taking naps with you though."

I look back up at him. He's as close to me as he was at the end of that dream.

It wasn't real dumbass.

This is how I got so paranoid last time. This is what ended my "perfect" relationship. I get too caught up in my head to make sense of anything.

Revised;