for, liar

Chapter 15

The next morning I woke up still fully clothed and sprawled out on the couch. I could've sworn I had pulled myself together enough last night to at least drag myself to bed but I guess my exhaustion got the better of me.

The apartment was eerily silent, which meant that Maddy was probably still asleep or doing her best to stay quiet so she doesn't have to talk to me. I force myself off the couch and walk slowly down the hallway to her room on my tiptoes so she doesn't hear me. The door is cracked open enough for me to see her face pressed into her pillow and one leg hanging out of the covers. She looks too peaceful for me to bother her.

I decided to take a shower before I do anything else to start my day. I know I didn't drink too much but the smell of cigarettes and alcohol reek on my clothes. By the time I'm out, dressed, and halfway to the kitchen with a towel wrapped in my hair, I notice Maddy sitting at the table with her hands folded over in front of her. I bite the end of my tongue and pour myself a cup of coffee. I can feel her eyes on me from across the room but I refuse to say the first word this morning. She looks disheveled and her expression says everything. I know she regrets what she did and I know she'll apologize soon. It's the worst when we fight so I'm more than willing to talk this out and build back some of the trust she broke last night.

"I'm an idiot." She mutters and crosses her arms.

I sip my coffee and turn around. That wasn't exactly the first thing I expected her to say, but I guess I'll take it to get this conversation over with.

"Yeah, sometimes."

I take a seat in front of her at the table. I keep the ceramic mug in my hands to comfort my commonly cold fingers. I hated that the first morning together in our own place we had to have this lingering awkward energy.

"I drank too much. I wasn't thinking." She says after a couple minutes of silence.

"You weren't thinking but you were capable of stealing my store keys, taking a strange man down there, and letting him have his way with you on our office desk?"

Her cheeks turn a deep shade of red. She groans under her breath and picks at her fingernails.

"He wasn't a strange man. I've been seeing him for a couple of weeks."

"A couple of weeks is not enough time to get to know someone."

She shrugs off my comment and looks at me. "Well it's usually even shorter for me so you should be proud."

I feel like she was trying to make a joke here though I don't think it came off the way she intended. Maddy's lifestyle does usually consist of her periodically hooking up with guys she meets online or at clubs. She knows I don't exactly agree with it but I've learned to keep my mouth shut in order to keep her happy. Friendship isn't the place for judgement unless she's in actual danger which to be fair, I thought she was in last night.

"Besides, you were busy anyway. I saw you with that guy you were talking to." She says.

I set my mug down on the table and relax my shoulders. "I stayed at the club. I also was not planning on having sex with him at my best friend's job." I snap.

She's getting obviously annoyed at my remarks, but I find this much better than a screaming match.

"I'm sorry, Bree. I really am." She says, almost genuinely.

I believe her. I believe she's sorry and I believe she's going to try to make it up to me somehow. I just don't know how I'm going to feel until she does.

"What about the guy you met up with at the grocery store? The one who gave you that bag? Jackson or Jeff? What happened to him?"

I was risking a lot by bringing that back up. It's been in the back of my mind since it happened and I just couldn't help it. The opportunity appeared and I took it by the neck.

Maddy's eyes move off to the side and she shifts uncomfortably in her chair. The question threw her off immensely, just as I wanted it to.

"Justin? He was just a friend."

Another one of Maddy's many friends I don't even know the name of.

"Yeah, I figured. You went off with some guy at the party so I figured if you were seeing anyone, it would be him."

She laughs and shakes her head. "No, no no no. We are not dating. We're not even messing around. We were just..." She stops herself before saying something she thinks I shouldn't be hearing.

"You were just what? Doing drugs?"

Her eyes shoot up at me offensively. "Really, Bree?"

I shrug and take another swig of coffee. Her face is red again and she has her arms crossed like she's sulking. I guess I could have been better at addressing the topic.

"I saw the weird bag and the text message he sent you asking if you wanted the rest. The rest of what?"

She rises from her chair and slams her hand on the table. She walks over to her purse and pulls out a flask. My heart practically sinks into my chest.

"Why were you hiding whiskey? You're legal to drink." I ask.

I know that questioning her even more while she is mad at me was a poor decision but I had to test the trust. We just moved in together, my dad is a retired police officer, and I would like nothing more than to keep my best friend out of sketchy shit that has the possibility of being laced with even more sketchy shit by even more sketchier guys.

"I wasn't being secretive. You just took it that way because for some reason you suddenly don't trust me."

Maddy slams the flask onto the table. This is getting blown way out of proportion.

"You broke my trust by breaking into my work." I say through gritted teeth.

"And we moved past that! Can you just stop?"

Now she's yelling at me. This isn't what I was trying to accomplish. I should have kept my big mouth shut.

"I need you to be honest with me, Maddy. I'm worried about you. You're reckless and you could have cost me my job as well as your own life. Why won't you listen to me?"

She throws her hands in the air and backs away from the table. For a moment I wondered if she would throw something or storm out of the room without saying anything else.

"I don't need you acting like my mother. I have one."

Not a good one. Not one who cares about you the way I do. Not one who makes sure you're home before going to sleep at night. Not one who calls you after your recent doctor appointments to make sure those small growths weren't cancerous. Not one who you cry to over and over again because another guy broke your heart and you question why you try to love someone in the first place.

"I'm just trying to protect you. I love you, Mads. You're my best friend and you mean everything to me. I just want you to be safe and stay out of trouble. We live together now and I constantly worry that-"

She cuts me off mid sentence.

"That I'm going to fuck this up? Get arrested and have you waste all of our rent money on my bail? Do you really think I'm that irresponsible? I have come this far and you have shown no faith in me whatsoever. If you don't think I can do this then why did you ask me to in the first place?"

Just like that she's grabbing her keys, grumbles about having to go to work, and storms out of the door. What a horrible way to end this morning. 

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