Complicated Love (Bucky Barnes x Reader)

Chapter 4: Leaving

I hear a slight grunt, that I recognize was Bucky, waking me up. I open my eyes, squinting slightly at the sunlight seeping through the window. My eyes adjust to see Bucky,laying down comfortably on our shared bed.. "Good morning, doll," he says, his raspy morning voice showing immensely.

"Morning," I respond, rubbing my eyes to try to stay awake. Bucky and I had a late night last night...whoops. I prop myself up onto my elbows, and I run my hand through Bucky's hair, and he sighs in comfort.

"I'm going to miss this," he mumbles, and I tear up slightly, not wanting this moment to end.

"Me too," I say, voice cracking slightly. Bucky is going to be gone in a few hours, and I don't know when I will see him again. Plus with me going to war, something bad could happen to me, and he wouldn't even know that I was going.

"Hey, hey, hey," Bucky says sitting up, making me sit up with him. "I don't want to leave you just as much as you don't want me to, but it's what I have to do. To make this whole war end. The sooner we do that, the sooner I can get back to you and Stevie." Bucky pecks my lips, making a tear slip from my eye.

Bucky wipes the tear with his thumb and I say, "I love you."

"I love you. So much," he says, kissing me again.

The morning was different for sure. I got ready for the day, while Bucky suited up in his uniform. I put a smile on my face, acting like it didn't affect me that much, even though on the inside, I was dreading this. Bucky was doing the same thing, trying to look on the positive side, but honestly, there wasn't that much.

"Where's Steve?" I ask, as Bucky and I were walking down to the train station.

"We said our bye's yesterday. He said he didn't want to be the third wheel today," Bucky says. Then we approached the crowded area, filled with crying mothers, men in uniform, and women waving their handkerchiefs.

We got to the train, and I didn't want to let go of Bucky's hand. He turned around to face me, and for once, he was showing his sadness. "I'll write to you as much as you can. Oh, and don't leave me for another man, or I will come back and beat him to a pulp," he jokes, making me chuckle softly.

"There is no one I would leave you for," I say, making him smile. We stood there for a couple seconds before Bucky mumbles something under his breath that was inaudible for me. He cups my cheeks in his hands, brings my lips to his. I wrap my arms around his neck, not wanting him to leave me. I may act brave, but on the inside (which I will never admit), I need him in my life, and I'll break without him.

The kiss was passionate, full of love, knowing I won't get to kiss his soft lips for I don't know how long. I take in, trying to permanently inscribe in my head everything about Bucky. His fluffy hair, the way his eyes sparkle everytime he talks about something he's passionate about, the way his arms tense up when he gets protective, how everytime I tell him I love him, he gets a little smirk on his face.

I felt his lips move off from mine, and he embraced me in a hug, the tightest hug I have ever felt, yet I wasn't complaining. "Last call for soldiers on their way to England!" I hear someone announce through the speakers.

Bucky loosen his grip, but not fully letting go, his hands resting on my waist. I look up to see tears in his eyes, but he's trying not to let them show. "You can't be crying on me now," I say, tears brimming in my eyes as well.

He chuckles softly, kissing my forehead lightly, and I close my eyes in peace. This is going to have to happen. I notice a tear falling on his cheek, and I wipe it off, similarly like he did this morning, and said, "you better come back to me, Barnes. Do you hear me?"

"Whatever it takes," he says.

"Whatever it takes," I repeat. I kissed him one more time repeatedly, until he practically had to be escorted away from me. I watched him walk up onto the train, sit down in his seat, and go up to the window. He makes eye contact with me, and salutes, making me smile.

I watched his train leave, until it was the size of an ant in my sight, and there were tears streaming down my face. I thought this was going to be easier. It's not like I'm going back home to nothing. I have Steve, plus the biggest assignment I have ever gotten. Crap, I didn't tell Steve I was leaving.

I walked back to our apartment, letting the city streets fill my ears as my footsteps became faster, since the last time I saw Steve was last night. I finally got to the apartment, and I walked in, not finding Steve, but a letter on the kitchen counter.

Dear Cousin,

    You will not believe what just happened. I got enlisted. This doctor is giving me a shot. Says he works with Strategic Scientific Reserve, some special project. I noticed you and Bucky were gone, so I assume you left to drop him off at the train station. I hope that went well.

    Anyways, I leave tonight, and I wanted to get some stuff before I go. I'm sorry this is the way I am leaving, but this is something I need to do. Something I have been fighting for awhile now. I hope you understand.

Love you,
Steve

Oh my god. He's going to die out there. I need to call Peggy. I grabbed the home phone and dialed her number. Yes, I have helped out with the Rebirth Project, but that was just to pick up a file to help Peggy out, and help with some of my knowledge.

She answered with a soft, "Hello?"

"You have to get Steve Rogers off your enlistment form for Project Rebirth," I say immediately.

"Well, hello to you too," she says, and I roll my eyes. I heard some paper rippling in the background, knowing she was going through files. "I'm sorry I can't do that."

"Why not? He'll get killed out there. He's half my size and weight. He'll never survive and I don't want anything happening to him," I rant to her.

"I know this Steve means a lot to you, but there's nothing I can do about it. Dr. Erskine directly recommended him, saying he was a special one," she says, and my eyes widened.

"Does he have a death wish for him?" I practically yell.

"Everything is going to be okay. I'm going to be supervising that group, remember? I'll keep an eye on him," she says, calming me down.

"I want weekly updates on how he's doing," I say, and I heard her laugh at my protectiveness. Family is everything, and I don't want to lose the two most important people in my life because of a war.

"You got it," she says. "Can I talk to you later? I have to pack to leave."

"Yea, I need to do that as well," I say. "Thanks Peggy. Good luck."

"You too," she says, and hangs up. War, here I come.