I've Got A Feeling

Fourty Two

Laf: I normally wouldn't be posting this quickly, but I just wanted to bring you babes a Happy Valentines Day thing, so this should be something to cheer you up or just make your day happier. I hope ye like it.

"Paul, hurry up! We're gonna be late!" "Just a minute John!" I heard my bandmate whine behind the door. I don't care if we're late for our Hazza's standards, my hair is going to look good. He kept banging on the bathroom door, a sign that I should get out of there or else he's gonna start throwing a tantrum, and he can go from a responsible adult to a zany child within two seconds. Mainly because of his temper I suppose. "Just let me in there at least." I flicked the lock, giving him permission to access at his will. I moved so then he wouldn't hit my hip when he whipped it open. "What part of yer hair is takin' ye so bloody long that I had to confirm that I was not a psycho to your father and brother?" A laugh slipped from my lips seeing him so frustrated with me, hand on his hip and everything. I could see there was hurt in his eyes, and I know what it's about. It hurts me too, but when the law is in practice, the law is the law. "I just want it to look good-" "But it does look good! It looks fab, Paul."

He lowered his voice while wrapping his arms from behind me to take my hands in his. "Why do you have to do this to me? Why can't you just stay the way you are for me?" I sighed heavily, feeling discontented and hurt by hearing those words come from him. "You know I don't mean to hurt you. I impress the birds because I have to. People cannot know that we're in a relationship right now." I felt a warm kiss atop of my hair, not even bothering to comb out the mess again. "I hate this. I just want to shout to the whole fucking world that Paul McCartney is my forever soulmate and husband. Then why don't we? Why don't we tell people we could trust?" I looked down at our barren fingers that had held our metal bands, wanting nothing more than to shove mine on. Sometimes it gets me really upset too, but there's no one I could confide in that would understand. George is a great listener, but he doesn't see blokes that way. John's told me that many times, Hazza just doesn't fancy Ringo. So it's hard to talk to him about it when he doesn't know what I'm experiencing, but he always tries to calm me down or give me advice.

Forcing my lips onto his, I place my hands on his face, rubbing his cheeks. When I pulled away there was a shade of red in his complexion, which made me smile and I could feel warmth in my soul once again. "C'mon, we're gonna be late, yeah?" I bust out laughing as I hear him muttering. "Tease." Looking back, I wink casually and see his face shine brighter than before.

Making sure I have everything I need with me including my house key, I slip on my shoes. "I'm going out Da'!" "Where and with whom?!" Standing up I cross my fingers I'm hopes he'll be okay with me leaving. I know I'm an adult technically, but I still do live with him and Mike. I worry sometimes about Dad. Most of the time he's very chippy and can have a laugh, but when the darkness comes it hits as a snowstorm does. When I was nineteen it was really hard, y'know? I'd often have to distract him so he wouldn't go for the liquor hidden behind pots and pans. There were times when I just wasn't there and I would be the one to receive the call hearing he didn't show up for work that day and have to say he just wasn't feeling well.

To think, all of those years he was teachin' me but now I'm the one having to keep telling him. "Pub with John!" "Fine, just don't come back all wired up!" I mentally rejoiced, muttering a yes under my breath. Hearing the most beautiful sound in the world, I look over to see Johnny smiling and snickering at me. There was no need for me to push back at him, I badly missed that noise. He had gone through a rough period and I don't want him to return to it just because I fuck up and say something I shouldn't have. "Ready, love?" "Ye, long time ago."

So we began the journey there. Just randomly discussing topics like music, the band, the world right now. Kicking small pebbles on the ground, I couldn't care less if people stared. "I had this weird dream a while ago, maybe I'll tell you about it sometime." "Yeah, I'd like that." I weakly smiled. I've always loved hearing about people's dreams and what they think they're about. For me dreams randomly happen and I don't think it matters who you are, you can and will have dreams. Whether they be fever dreams or life aspirations. I don't think you have to be something to have a certain dream either, dreams just come to us in our most peaceful or restless state. That doesn't mean that dreams cannot have meaning behind them, I think lots of them do. But if you have a romantic dream about someone I don't necessarily think it means you're attracted to them. It could just mean you want a relationship with someone and that person just happened to be a gap filler. "Ye gonna 'have a bevvy?" "Maybe even a few, but I'll try not to be too much of a handful for you Johnny."