I've Got A Feeling

Across The Universe

April 12, 1962

Another day, another flight to Germany. Well, I've got Paul by my side. That's all I'll ever need in this short life. A warm feeling cuddled up inside me as I feel gentle arms wrapped around me, feeling his warm breath brush past me. His lip is ever so slightly hanging down, causing him to make a slight snore and me snickering to myself. What did I ever do to get a boy like this one? Tell me that Lord. How? How can you make a bloke this precious, beautiful and kind hearted like this fall in love with a boy like me? I kind of have gotten into the habit of drawing minuscule circles on his hand whenever he has his attention elsewhere or is asleep on me, so this instance was no different. Until his autumn leaf colored eyes flickered open and I interrupted my routine. It delights me to see the silver band on my ring finger, and the one on his that I had finally saved up enough money for with the pay from our gigs.

"What happened?" Macca asked while rubbing drowsiness from his eyes. "You fell asleep, love." I said, chucking to myself. "I did?" "Yes, but no need to get yer knickers in a twist and shout because we still have a plethora of time before we have to leave." I love to make him smile, and that's what I ended up doing in this instance. "You know me so well Johnny." "I know princess." "Don't call me that, or else you'll become Thisbe." "Bring it on then, Pyramus." He was just about to lay a kiss on me with his lily lips, until it was hindered by a knock at the door. Fucking hell, I really need me own place. No, I need a place with Paul, so we can have more moments like this.

Opening the door, of course it's Mimi most likely asking us about our flight. "Aren't you boys supposed to be leaving soon?" She answered in a very vulgar tone. I look at my watch to see the time is around 7:00 pm. It's probably one of her ploys to get me to leave the house. "Why yes of course, we leave at 9:30 for the airport up yer ass." "Watch it Lennon, I can kick you out y'know." "I know, but you'd never do it." Deep down inside her froze off heart she does love me. Just like I do her, but we have a different way of showing it than other families. I like getting into these little rows with Mimi, it reminds me of the Quarrymen days when it was just me mates and no Paul.

Although, those days got lonesome without a person to be fully honest with. I did have some good times nonetheless, being Julia hadn't gotten in a squabble with me for some months and Mr. Holly was there to keep me company. "And Paul, don't even think about playing that bloody guitar of your's to pass the time. It hurts me ears to hear that awful sound. Rock and roll is a waste of yer time." "I'll make sure to keep it down Mrs. Smith." I don't know how he can do it, keep himself together under the weight of my aunt's coarseness all while holding up a tolerated smile. "I would never wish it to fall on old and dormant ears." I felt red in the face from trying to contain all of my crowing. Up until this day I had never heard Paul mutter an ill word towards any person older than us, and now he finally cracked. He made a joke about her eventually withering ability to hear for Christ's sake! At that exact moment she was a sliver from shutting the door tight, and now I was able to mark her scowl. She muttered a "up your's wank" before closing the piece of wood, with ruptures of cackling ensued. "Oh my god," I pealed wiping water from my eyes, "You actually did it! You gave her lip!" "I know! That felt great."

"Oh god, I love you." Kissing him softly, the laughter fades into the ever disappearing sun.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hamburg, my old mate. It's been some time since I've seen you. Running a checklist through my head, I confirm everything in my possession for this trip. Paul had already begun to keep me in line before we had left the house, fussing that I needed to make sure I loaded a moving day's worth of stuff along with the minimal items I had remembered. Passport, suitcase, guitar with guitar case, watch. Got my notebook, wallet, extra clothes and glasses. I jumped feeling a hand wrapped around mine, not to mention in public. "Paul, we can't do that here, you know that." "Who said that I cared? Sometimes in life you have to let life take you by its wings and let go." I saw a weak smile form at the tips of his mouth. "You have to be free with the ones who love you and the ones you love because you never know when they could leave you in a moment's notice for better opportunities or people." I squeezed his hand to let him know I'm never leaving. For one moment I'm the one looking for spots of vulnerability, while he's crossing every single law in his way. Paul's always the one who's looking out. Taking the safe way, backing out of something because it seems dangerous. It makes me excited to know he's finally ready to take these risks with me. "I love you." "I love you too, John."