I've Got A Feeling

Julia

I walked Paul home, biting my lip to hold back a kiss. "I'll see ya later mate." "Bye John." I watched as he closed the door. The air was cold and the sun was descending. I saw one star in particular that was blaring down at me, almost calling my name. No way Lennon. You don't need her. What would you even say? She had her reasons to leave you. Everyone has their reasons to leave you. I mean, why hasn't Paul left you yet? You're just a snarky asshole who can't ever be happy. Because you're worthless. You inconsiderate piece of shit bastard.

My hands slid into my pockets, fiddling with the frayed material. There were couples in the streets, old ladies carrying bags, children running towards front doors. Meanwhile here I am strolling along the pavements alone, kicking a small pebble with the front of my boot. Why would it matter anyway? It's not like we have anything in common really. Maybe rock and roll, that's pretty much it though. She does like Elvis. No, no! After all I've been put through! I can't do this to myself again.

"John you're late." I walk into the kitchen to grab a scrap of paper. "Could I have Julia's number?" There's eerie silence deafening the house. "What?" "Do you have Julia's number?" "No dear, I lost it years ago." "Oh." I walk upstairs and into my bedroom where I flip onto the bed and rub my eyes. I know she's lying, but I cannot force it out of her. Maybe she's just trying to protect me. Why would I even bother asking? Waves of exhaustion roll over my brain, taking a toll on my eyelids.

I let hot water flow over my back as I take a long breath. Showers are calming for some reason to me. But I quickly wash up and slip into a random shirt and comfortable pants. You know that it's just gonna end up shitty if you call.

"Hey, it's me-" I could barely get out two words without being attacked with questions. "I uh,....I was just wondering how you were doing. Y'know, life's been crazy with the band and upcoming uni so..." My hands were shaky. "Oh, that's great. Good for you, I'm glad. Could we um, could we uh....meet up tomorrow? At the pub down the street?" I felt my heart pounding in skipped beats. "Thank you so much, I'll see ya at eight tomorrow. Bye, Julia."