I've Got A Feeling

Chapter Five

A/N: Happy McLennon Day! I tried to push out a chapter as fast as I could before the day was over in the UK, so I hope you enjoy it. But if you don't, it's a free world, like what you like. Also, the last little bit at the end is a song lyric, not a thought. I do not and will not own the music of The Beatles, that credit belongs to John Lennon and Paul McCartney. Last thing, happy early birthday to Sir Richard Starkey if I don't get the chance to post tomorrow. Spread peace and love at noon your time tomorrow any possible way you can. For Ringo! Anyways, I dedicate this chapter to John Winston Ono-Lennon and Sir James Paul McCartney for their friendship and career together as mates and anything else possible. Their relationship changed the world forever.

You'll never know how much I really love you
You'll never know how much I really care

My mind had wondered off again as it normally does. Thinking of everything from what to have as a meal to people that I'm interested in. Like Elvis or Little Richard. But this one is different. I feel the metaphorical butterflies everyone talks about. My hands are shaking with little drops of sweat. Heart racing faster than ever before. I'm thinking of the girl I have a crush on. Well, that's a lie. It's a bloke, and that's why it's so bad. I could be killed for this sort of thing. But it's just a little nothing misdemeanor of an infatuation. "Hey John, wha' are ya doin out here?" "Oh uh, just writing." "On the ground by the school?" "Y-yeah, got a problem with that, P-Paul?" Why am I stuttering? It's just a crush calm down!

"Are you okay? Because you look like you're going to throw up on me or something." "I'm f-fine. Would you mind if I walk you home?" "Not at all." I quickly shut my notebook and held out my hand to be pulled up. He took his hand into mine and I quickly realized my hands were filled with sweat and grime. "Sorry 'bout that." "No it's okay." His hand felt soft like the fur on a kitten. We were positioned in that way until the realization hit of what's happening. "Uh, um, how about we just start walking, shall we?" "Yeah, that would be alright." The weather isn't actually that bad considering we live in Liverpool. There are a few clouds, but nothing to fuss over really. "Does Stu hate me or something?" "Wha'? Why would you ask that?" "Well, it's just I see he gives me death glares whenever I look over to him." "Oh, that. Yeah, he does that for some reason. I dunno why, it's always been like that since I've known him."

We kept walking for a while until Paul bumped into someone. "Ey watch it will ya?" There was a pause. It was this kid who looked scrawny and was just about as tall as Paul. The other thing I noticed is that he has practically a turban of hair. "Wait, my little brother?" "Eight months! Huh, Paul?" He looked and got this big smile tugging at his lips. "Macca! It's nice to see ya!" We all got introduced and went our separate ways. "Who was that?" "Oh, no one. We met on the bus one day after school." "Oh."

My mind is racing. I feel like I should tell him, no! You can't get in trouble for this! "You okay Lenny? You haven't spoken for a couple of minutes. Which I thought couldn't be done." "Oh shut it Macca! I'm just fine, I just have a lot of things on my mind." "Like what?" "It's none of your business." I couldn't believe I came up with that so fast. "Oh come on John, you have to tell me something." I sighed, knowing he'd bug me about it until we arrived at his house. "Fine. There's this bird I have a crush on, alright? Now drop it." "What's her name? What does she look like? Do I know-" I shoved my finger on his lips, my legs almost giving way from how delicate they feel. "I said to drop it. You don't know her, she goes to my school, and she has the most alluring and elegant hazel eyes." "Okay."

We reached his house and I wanted to feel his lips again, but I couldn't. "I'll see ya tomorrow Johnny." "Yeah, tomorrow. Remember practice." "I will dear." "Bye doll." "Bye." The door closed in front of me, releasing air from my lungs. I took out a ciggie and pressed it against my lips. Taking my lighter I flipped the lid up and brought the flame up to my stress reliever. Taking a drag I start swaggering back home.

"You're home late." "I was out." "Well, if you want something to eat there's food in the fridge." "Thank you Mimi." "Oh, stop that."

I trudged up the stairs, holding my book close to my chest. The lights being flicked on showed the chaos in my room. Unmade bed, clothes strewn around, scraps of paper scattered all over, records out of their case and stacked on top of the player. Wow, I guess a messy room really does reflect a messed brain. I began cleaning, which never happens. Maybe this crush really is taking a toll. When it was finally all straightened out I fell back onto my still messy bed and grab clothes to change into. Alright, time to write again. No words came out that could distract me. So my hand coursed through the page with poems of my brain.

Listen
Do you want to know a secret?
Do you promise no to tell?
Closer
Let me whisper in your ear

Say the words you long to hear? No, it can't be that. He's not queer. Well, neither am I, but I have this crush. I'll put it down anyway. Images of the bloke poked into my mind, filling my cheeks with pink and red.

Say the words you long to hear

What should I say? I just have a crush, nothing to worry about. The sight of his eyes and perfectly sculpted cheekbones made my legs weak. I'm not in love, no. I'm not. I just have loving emotions towards him. Sure I wouldn't mind if I got to kiss him, but doesn't anyone? I soon saw that the moon and stars were out, with a big deep blue sea sky. There was a tap at my window. I glanced over to see Paul staring into my eyes. "Macca, what are you doing outside my window?" "I just finished a song and I wanted you to hear it." "Oh. Well come in, I don't need you freezing on me."

He left quickly after arriving for the simple fact we both have school tomorrow. "See ya at practice Johnny." "Sure, practice." I gave a naughty wink. "Oh you wank." "You know it." "Goodbye John." "Goodbye."

I looked back at my page realizing my cheeks were hot and red with embarrassment and smitten. My heart felt warmer than before his visit, soon leaving from his exit. No. I'm not. No I'm not! I can't be, he's one of my best mates! I'm not in love! I let out a huge sigh, trying to ignore my thoughts.

I'm in love with you