I've Got A Feeling

If I Fell

Okay Paul, it's gonna be just you and John. Just like ye always wanted. You can't be that stupid to fuck this up, can ye? Well, I guess we'll see. Oh, and make sure that Geo doesn't look at his present early, little wank. Ringo must be a genius to put up with that all day.

I look down at my paper wrapped box and feel my hands begin to shake. I'm not the person that does well in these situations. See, since we were in Hamburg last year, this is the first official year that John and I will be giving gifts as partners, since we didn't have a lot of money to spend. But we got some money from his birthday along with some money that we tried to save up for this trip. By Johnny's orders, we split the money half and half to spend it however we wanted in Barcelona, now France because of a change in plans. I don't have much left since I had to spend it on my endowment.

What am I saying? He's practically me husband at this point. I really shouldn't make those jokes, especially since people are arrested for this type of love. I want this to go over well, for him to love my gift. We've known each other for years so it shouldn't matter and we know what we like, but this shows my feelings towards John in a completely different way. I got so stressed this morning I nearly threw up into crying. Luckily John was there to rub my back and hug me tight, softly kissing my forehead. The fact that we're in Paris together, just the two of us, makes it a shilling more bearable. I just know that deep within my conscience that John is the one for me, and that we love each other no matter what the law says.

"Ye ready to go Paulie?" John stated, nearly scaring me into death. I quickly threw the package into my luggage, heart racing like crazy. He looked very fashionable, with his hair tucked back into an Elvis style just for these two special days out of the year and dress trousers with a matching turtleneck. I feel like such a mess right now with him looking at me. "I need to change clothes." "Nonsense, you look very handsome love. Here, there's something your missing." "What?" I ask, very stressed from hearing I'm missing something from my outfit to look nice. "This." I giggle once I realize it was just one of his ploys to get a snog. I've been loving this recent new side of John, we've had our share of rough squabbles and rows over the past few months. Especially since Stuart left the band, but everything must level out in the end, and it has. It feels like we're in the beginning of the relationship again, just so happy to be with each other every second. I wrap my arms around his slightly shorter than me frame, feeling a warmth arrive to my cheeks. "I love you." "And I you, my Elvis wannabe." "Wannabe? I'll have you know that I came all the way from the United States of America just to entertain you, without asking, and you have the audacity to say that to my face." I started to laugh hard to the point of tears with his impersonation of the American people.

"Here, just let me get something better to wear before we go out parading." I went digging through the mountain of clothes I had packed with me, trying to find applicable dress. After some shoving around, I decided on a jumper. Pulling my other shirt off I hear John mumble something, turning around to see the smirk on his face. "What did you just say?" "Y'know, you could just go out like that and I could, keep you warm." A shiver sent down my spine, his words so close to my ears. "Oh you test me Johnny. We have those gingerbread houses to shop for, don't we?" "I guess so."

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When we got back to the room we started to prepare the recipe. It was actually my idea for us to make little houses out of desert. I thought it would be good for Paul and I since our rough patch, it really scared me because I started to think it was over. He's seemed on edge recently, so I take it will be beneficial for him. I have a feeling it's because of the joke I made two months ago. I really don't care if he can't afford to buy me anything for me birthday, him being there so I can shower him in love is enough for me. He's expressed to me before that he feels he can't love me enough, but that cannot be further from the truth. It feels like the fling between Stuart and I never happened in space and time, it was just Paul and I needing a break from each other. The fact that we've been together this long should prove we can get through anything.