I've Got A Feeling

Twenty Three

Before you read the chapter I just need to tell you people that I will probably not be posting as often since school is starting up again soon and I don't quite know my homework situation yet, so I'm sorry. Also, depending when you read this, HAPPY BEATLE ANNIVERSARY! Today on the eighteenth of August Sir. Richard Starkey joined The Beatles, replacing Pete Best and changing the course of rock and roll forever. Lots of drummers have said that Ringo was an influence on them and it makes me happy since Ringo doesn't get a lot of recognition and love, so yeah. I'll try to update as fast as I can, but for now we'll see (Part 23 already? This story is gonna be 1,000 chapters the pace I'm going) Peace, Love ✌🏿❤️

"Stu, I'm not going!" "Oh yes you are John Winston Lennon! You're going and you're gonna find a bird!" "Like I can." I sighed, wanting to be with Stuart more than anything in the world. "Look, I know you want to be with me. I do too. But not in a world like this. If the world were different I'd be snogging the hell out of you right now." He got me to laugh. He always did, those eyes and that smile could get me through anything, even if he didn't show his teeth often. "Now, we're gonna go to the party, yer gonna chat up some birds, and maybe even bed one of them, okay?" "I'm not promising that Sutcliffe. Even though I've had my fair share."

It was the Christmas party held at uni, and I really didn't want to go. I didn't feel like partying, I felt like sulking in my room because Paul is still barely talking to me. We've gotten better, but it's not like it was y'know? We used to have these deep conversations about the world and life in general, now it's all that small talk shit. I still don't know why either since George never told me, and as we've previously went over, Paul is distant. I just decided to wear all black, since it's a nice color and I just don't have the time or energy to be "fancy". "Cheer up." He placed his fingers around me chin. "If you want, I'll be the wingman, yeah?" "Yeah."

The room's packed full of people, lots dancing about. Rock was in the background, smell of alcohol not even questioned. There's plenty of quality birds here. "I'm gonna get a beer." "Make sure to grab one for me." Most of the girls had beautiful dresses on, polka dots I will add as the design. One swig turned into two, becoming several, forming into several drinks. I lit a cigarette, my throat very fuzzed at this point. "Gimme that." "Hey! It's my cig." "Yeah well now it's mine." "Wanker." I spat. "Swine." Stu and I would share cigs all the time for sure, that's no issue or doubt. But he just outright stole it from me before I had barely placed it in between my lips. He always asks normally. "How 'bout tha' one over there? She hit yer fancy?" "I dunno Stu, she seems like a prude. And too short." "John, I dunno what you want me to do then cause you've turned down every single girl I've pointed out to ya." "I told you I didn't wanna come here Stu, and I meant that. I told you I wasn't going to bed a girl, I meant it." I looked him in the eye and he finally let the subject go.

Not one, but both of the blokes I've fallen in love with rejected me. Both of them! Well, what would I expect? No one would want to be with a queer. Of course I'm not looking for someone right now. I'm fucking melancholic! All I want to do is go home, throw on a Buddy Holly record and drown in the blankets on my bed. The music changed a little to a more somber piece. That's when a lady caught me eye. Blonde hair, clothes that I would wear if I were a bird, quiet manner. "Hey ya comin' with me or wha'? It's poker time John." I brushed him off, entranced with her appearance. "Yeah yeah, in a minute." Wether it was the spiked drink or my natural state, my face flushed wine red. I heard my mate scoff at me but I didn't even glare. She's beautiful, dumbfounding with beauty.

My muscles tensed up just thinking about going up to her. Look, I know I've said I'm madly in love with two blokes. It's still true, but I am allowed to love other people. My options aren't limited if the other people clearly don't reciprocate my feelings or clearly don't want to be with me. I've tried avoiding it, it doesn't work. When you can't beat it, join and just live with it. She was quietly conversing with some other ladies, glass in hand. Fuck it Lennon, just do it, it's worth a shot with someone like her.

I walked over to where they were standing. I became tongue tied, words not able to form in the right order. Oh come on John, you've done this a thousand times before. Yer a big boy. "Hello John." "Cynthia." I said nicely, reaching my hand out for her to shake it. "What brings you over here?" With her presence by me, confidence crept its way in. "Nothing much, other than the fact I wanted to ask you this." She nodded, sipping her most probably spiked drink. "May I ask you on a date?" I instantly regret saying it at that moment because she spat her drink all over my face. A smirk emerged onto my face though. "Oh my god I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to spill that all over you-" "It's fine, yer response was better than I thought it would be." We all had a laugh except for the woman in front of me who was currently trying to clean off my face. My heart was beating fast and the feeling in my trousers tightening from the fact that a bird is close to me. Oh for the Lord's sake yer not going to bed her right now!

"So, would that be a yes?" Her face filled with embarrassment and shame, I could tell. Who I'm assuming are her friends gave her a look. "Is there something wrong? I'm assuming it's a no." "No no, it's not that. I would accept, but, I uh, how do I say this?" She paused. "I uh, I'm engaged to someone." My ego got the better of me in this moment. "I didn't ask ya to fucking marry me did I? I just asked you out on a date." She covered her mouth and I saw her giggle to herself. She looked me up and down, a small blush coming to her cheeks. "Did that change yer mind?" "Yes, I'll gladly go on a date with you John. As long as you remember to dress nice." I rolled my eyes. "Noooo, I could never dress nice." I smiled, teeth barely poking through. "Next Friday, I'll pick you up at seven o'clock."

I walked away in stride, hearing cheers from where I had been standing. I lit up a cig, fumbling with it between drags. Stu walked over to me. "You wanna play?" "No, I'll just watch." He walked back over to the table, my legs being unable to move. I was trying to process what I had done. Don't worry, yer gonna be fine. I walked out feeling the cold air against my warm face. A smile spread across my face, me taking the last drag of a cigarette.

I guess Stu was right.