The Cosmos' Journey (Obey Me! x OC)

Chapter 12: A Stupid Demon Is a Useful Thing to Have

Ivy couldn't sleep. So, she went to the stairwell again. Lucifer was still there. "What's going on, Ivy? Out for a stroll? I keep running into you here, don't I? It seems you are really curious about what's at the top of this staircase. Unless I'm mistaken, I believe I told you that it's not a place humans have any business going. If you can't sleep, perhaps I should make you some tea? Something that will help you have a good night's sleep. You should probably know that it's a bit too effective on humans, to the point that you may find that you never wake up again. You get what I'm saying here, right? Go back to your room. Good night, Ivy."

Ivy thought about it. Unless Lucifer was gone, Ivy would never reach the top.

-In Ivy's Room-

Ivy arrived to the three air signs murmuring anxiously. Ivy's head tilted. "What's wrong, you three? You all seem anxious about something."

Gemini turned to Aquarius. Aquarius nodded to Libra. "Explain."

Libra turned to her. "About the stairwell... we checked it..."

Ivy raised an eyebrow. "And?"

Ivy was not prepared for the words that left Gemini's mouth. "We found the seventh brother."

-At Breakfast-

"*sigh* Why do I gotta be stuck here with you first thing in the morning having to look at your face while I'm tryin' to eat my breakfast."

Ivy just sipped on her second cup of black coffee for the morning. Mammon continued. "To us demons, eating a human like you is a special sorta treat, understand? Yet I'm not allowed to do that. I've gotta sit here and eat my breakfast instead. I mean, it's like havin' a premium grade roast Iriomote musk hog right in front of me. Medium rare, cooked to perfection. But I can't have it. Instead I'm sitting here eatin' dried blackbelly newt legs. I mean, I'm not sayin' blackbelly newt legs are bad. I actually like 'em, but still."

Ivy glared at him. She was not in the mood. He continued. "And what's even worse is that thick, juicy hunk of meat has started giving me orders now, like it's the boss of me or somethin'. It's REALLY not fun. I mean, what sick kind of torture is this, anyway?!"

Ivy looked around. "Where's Beel?"

"Speakin' of Beel, that reminds me. He went and ate the custard I left in the refrigerator--the one I was saving for later! I told him to NOT eat anything that had my name on it! Ugh, I'm gonna kill him! Hey, pay attention when I'm talkin' to ya, dunce! Or do those ears of yours not work?! Anyway, I'm sure the others have all scurried off to class and left me to look after ya on my own, the punks. Dammit. They're all rotten, every last one of 'em. This all comes back to Lucifer! Getting stuck having to look after a human, ending up in a pact, everything bad is his fault! The way Levi's haircut is so lame, and Satan's horns are so stupid-lookin', and Lucifer's feet are so putrid, all of it is Lucifer's fault! ... Not that I've ever actually smelled his feet, but still!"

'I want alcohol now. I never liked it, but now I have a very high urge to knock myself.'
'Cosmos no.'
'Cosmos YES.'

"What's at the top of the stairs?"

"HEY, I TOLD you to LISTEN to me when I'm TALKIN' to you! I was trying to tell you about Lucifer's fe--... Wait, what stairs? Are you talkin' about the stairs that lead up into the attic? Oh man, there you go again, stickin' your nose where it doesn't belong... Now listen, do you know the secret to getting people to tell you stuff? Go ahead, tell me."

"Money?"

"EXACTLY! Now THAT'S what I'm talkin' about! I guess you DO get it! If ya wanna pry valuable information outta someone, you've got to offer 'em proper compensation! Wait a second... Uh-oh, I know what this is about! You tried to climb those stairs, but Lucifer stopped you, right? That's totally it, isn't it? (Ivy nods) Well, then there's something you really need to get straight now. If you think you can just offer Mammon here a little bit of money and he'll spill the beans, you're dead wrong. I mean, pretend I told you somethin' I shouldn't. Lucifer would beat me half to death. Actually, I'd be lucky if that's all he did. If I WEREN'T lucky, he'd have me eliminated. It'd take a good two million years to recover from that. Still, if you're bound and determined to buy this information off of me... Then you'll have to offer me, let's see... How about the monetary equivalent of the world's total oil production? Two hundred million years' worth. That might do it. In other words, I ain't gonna tell ya. Is that clear enough for ya, blockhead?"

"Huh. Afraid of Lucifer, are you?" Ivy knew how to get on her old friend's nerves.
"WHAT?! Whoa, what'd you just say? You think I'M actually afraid of Lucifer?! Me, the Avatar of Greed? You've gotta be kidding! I'm not the least bit afraid of him, got it? Not even a little!" Mammon was clearly mad. Ivy wasn't going to accept that answer.
"Be honest, though. You're scared, aren't you?" Ivy hummed.
"I told you, I'm not! I mean, that's crazy! Listen now, most of the time, I don't let people see the full extent of my power! What I'm sayin' is that even if I did face off against someone like Lucifer, I wouldn't have to use all my strength to win! Understand?!" Mammon was really irritated. Ivy knew she had him.
"Then tell me what's up those stairs." Ivy took another sip of coffee.
"All right, fine! I will! You can't get up those stairs because Lucifer's blocking the way, right?! You need to do somethin' to get rid of him, right?! Well, guess what? Distracting Lucifer is easy as pie! Listen up, 'cause I'm only gonna say this once, so, clean the wax outta your ears for a change and pay attention! You know that series Levi likes? What was it called... um, The Tale of the Seven... Seven... Seven Ways to Get Rich Quick... wait, no. That's the book I was readin' the other day." Mammon said.

Ivy blinked at her old friend. "The Tale of the Seven Lords."

Mammon nodded. "Right, yeah. That's the one. Anyway, you need to get your hands on a vinyl edition of the soundtrack for that Tale of the Seven whatsawhosit. If you have that, you can use it to distract Lucifer no problem! Don't ask why, 'cause I've got no idea why Lucifer's interested in somethin' like that either. But if you wanna climb those stairs, you're gonna have to start by gettin' your hands on that soundtrack."

"Help me do it."

"Wha? I don't understand. Why should I help you? If ya want the soundtrack, then go find Levi and work it out with him yourself, dummy. Welp, time for me to go. As much as I hate goin' to class, I don't have much of a--"

Ivy was now fed up with this. "Mammon... come!"

"HEY! Wh-What's goin' on?! Dammit, my body... it's movin' on its own! Grr...! F-Fine, all right! I'll go with you, okay?! It feels like you've got some kind of invisible cord tied around my neck. ... Aaah, stop pullin' on it! .... I said stoooooooop!"

Time to go interrogate Levi.