The Cosmos' Journey (Obey Me! x OC)

Chapter 35: Sometimes the Inevitable Masquerades as the Accidental

Mammon growled at Asmo. "Asmo, you bastard! Quit snugglin' up against Ivy! Go away, you moron!"

Asmo glared at Mammon. "Excuse me? It's none of your business who I snuggle up to or get lovey-dovey with, now is it? And your constant yelling about it is annoying, to be honest."

"I'll be as annoyin' as I have to be... whatever it takes to get you off of Ivy! Get away get away get away GET AWAY!"

'Why am I stuck in this... love triangle sort of thing?'
'I'll kill them if you want.'
'No, Libra.'
'Cosmos, are you feeling okay?'
'No, what with my constant headaches from you idiots and now this? I need a year long vacation.'
'Meditation works.'
'So does alcohol.'
'Leo, istg no.'

"Uh, you never shut up, do you? Anyway, why should I listen to you? Who made you boss? Honestly, it doesn't even make sense."

"Cause I was the FIRST one Ivy made a pact with. You're the fifth demon--the FIFTH! And that makes me Ivy's first man! So of course you should keep your hands to yourself when I'm around, out of respect!"

Zach groaned. That sounded so wrong. Ivy reached out her hands for her father. "Padre, please help me. I don't understand what's going on anymore."

Asmo gazed at Mammon incredulously. "Excuse me... what? Did you seriously just call yourself first man? Are you TRYING to make me laugh? Anyway, it doesn't matter who was first. If Ivy didn't like snuggling with me, then it would be different. But otherwise, what gives you the right to boss me around?"

Mammon turned to Ivy. "Ivy, don't be shy! Let him have it! Tell this numbskull that he's too close and he needs to back off!"

"He doesn't know what he's talking about, does he Ivy? Naturally, you're happy to have someone as beautiful as me by your side, now aren't you?"

Ivy sent her father a silent plea with her eye. Zach noticed and gestured with his eyes to her old friend. Ivy spoke up from where she was. "Well, you do go overboard with all the snuggling..."

"Aww, there's no need to be shy, Ivy. ... Okay, I'll just wait until later, when we're alone. Then we can do lots of snuggling, okay?"

Zach was ready to toss the chancla at Asmo. Mammon frowned. "I'm never leavin' you two alone... NEVEEEER!"

Levi rolled his eyes. "What do we have here...? Two idiots fighting over a normie? Pff, they can both keel over and die for all I care."

Luke turned to Beel. "What about you, Beel? I notice you aren't getting involved. But you're in a pact with Ivy too, right?"

Beel grumbled. "Too hungry right now. Don't feel like it."

Mammon picked up a pillow. "ASMO...! YOU ROTTEN BASTARD...!"

Asmo cried out as Ivy snuck over to her father. "Hey...! You just threw a pillow at my FACE, didn't you...? AAAAAH! I can't take this anymore! I wish you'd just disappear! You can go burn in the fires of hell for all I care! If I could snap my fingers and send you there right now, I'd do it!"

Simeon sighed from where he was. "Things are only going to escalate if nobody stops them."

Ivy hugged her father. She was not volunteering as tribute. Solomon turned to Simeon. "Then why don't you stop them, Simeon?"

"Hmm... I think I might wait a little longer and see how things go before stepping in."

Zach put noise canceling headphones on Ivy's ears, now shrunk to her humane ears. Mammon growled. "That's it! You shut that big fat mouth of yours RIGHT NOW, you $#&! *#&$! *$&! %#!"