Rollercoaster (One Shots)

Simply Not Good Enough.

"No! NO NO!!"

Nick flinched at the harsh words that were being thrown at him and willed the heartbroken tears back.

He wasn't going to cry, not now at least. Not in front of the man he used to respect as a father.

You see a long time ago when Nick was born his father was his hero. He was Nick's idol, and everywhere he went he was sure to follow.

Time passed and great memories were made, he and his dad sat down at the piano and made an album.

They grew close and together all the brothers and their dad felt invincible.

The brothers started a band and they finally were at a spot in all of their lives where they had each other.

But as time passed all three of the brothers grew and well...nick was a teenager. He was seventeen almost going on eighteen.

That's when things began to change.

His father grew cold and stopped talking to him. Everything nick did was wrong or not good enough.

He couldn't hit a single note that was too high, or his diabetes was worse that day, he accidentally left a wrapper on the kitchen table, forgot to take the trash out, slept to much, he was an asshole, he was to excited for certain things, he was dumb and couldn't do anything right, he wasn't good enough.

Why wasn't he good enough?! What happened?!

Most nights he would have to curl into bed with his brother Joe who never got along with their father.

Joe would make him smile or tell nick that it was ok because he was good enough for Joe and Kevin, that's all that mattered.

Nick cried, he would try to convince himself it was just a bad day but in reality, as the days grew on so did the hatred and sadness he felt for his father.

Now that leads up to this point, where nick was trying to sing a solo part but it obviously wasn't good enough.

"No! NO! NO!" his father screamed.

Nick felt his body flush and all he wanted to do was run. He was a flightier, not a fighter.

"WHY CAN'T YOU DO SIMPLE SHIT ANYMORE?!"

Nick didn't have an answer and even if he did, he couldn't possibly talk back to his own father. No, that would be too much attitude.

"YOUR SUCH AN UNGRATEFUL LITTLE BITCH!"

"Get out of my sight before I do something I regret, you asshole"

Nick walked away from the studio numb but also wanting to laugh. This was never going to change and he could see that now.

Nick walked into his bedroom and stood there staring at his feet.

"Nick come here" a gentle and comforting voice said.

Nick looked up and saw Joe standing there with his arms open. He always had his arms open for anybody he loved, that was one of the greater things about Joe.

Nick rushed into Joe's arms crying, Nick was almost eighteen, almost time to where he could leave and make his own decisions.

"Joe, why don't you leave? Your old enough" nick cried into his Joe's sweatshirt.

"Because Nick, I wouldn't leave you alone with that man even if my life depended on it" Joe whispered into Nick's ear.

Nick just cried some more.

Cried for the loss of a father figure, cried for all the memories, cried because of the verbal abuse, it was just too much.

"Come on, it's late let's get you laid down"

Now if this was any other time, Nick would have blushed and shoved Joe telling him he wasn't a child anymore, but this wasn't one of those moments.

So Nick let Joe walk him to his bed and let himself get tucked in.

"Don't go Joe" Nick whimpered.

Joe nodded and slid into the bed with Nick.

"I know how it feels nick, and he's losing a relationship with someone who is very special"

Nick's cries continued as memories came flooding in.

The time when he was laughing so hard before bed he was going to pee his pants because his dad had a skeleton that shook his butt to a stupid song.

The time when him and his brothers were going sledding with their dad and as he went down the steep hill, their dad left butt prints in the snow.

Every time him and his dad went out, his dad would get him his favorite dinosaur drink.

All of these memories meant so much to nick and yet he knew, that it was going to change nothing.

His cries fell silent as tiredness took over. He was in his brother's arms while the moon shone bright through the window.

Nick looked at it over Joe's shoulder and just watched, asking himself all of these questions.

Exhaustion got the better of him and in the end it won. He was heart broken and defeated but Nick knew what he had and that's what kept him going.

"...And you were just like the moon, so lonely, so full of imperfections, but just like the moon, you shine in times of darkness..."

In the end, he managed to change his poor, shattered mind into something a little more beautiful, because in the end...

He simply was good enough.

**************************

I wrote this piece as to get some stuff off my chest. It is about my own personal relationship with my dad, and I know I changed some stuff to help fit with the story but it's all true.

I am a teenage girl and my dad finally got the son he always wanted. The memories are all mine as well.

I am a girl who fell in love with little things and I am hurt and broken by the words from my father. But I am learning and accepting that I love myself and I don't need anybody but myself.

I hope you like it, not my best and I love you.