WITH ME

chapter 6

I can not think of anything.

And most of all for me to lose my breath and just look straight at them now

 I am sure Jennie have seen that I am right here in front of them.

I can see no emotion in the eyes of the woman I poured all my love into.

pity?.

Repentance?

guilt?

And love?

No, I have seen nothing when I look into the eyes I used to loved about here.

I was just reminded that I am still here standing in a crowded place when I was hit by a camera man who was in a hurry to go to the front.

I lost my balance and eventually fell and hit my elbow on a metal object that came out of the chair.

I do not feel any pain. But I knew my elbow was bleeding.

I want to stand up, so I  do my best and gathered all the courage that I have right now to step away from the place where I am being slowly killed over and over again.

I don't care if people see me crying and eventually notices my bleeding hand from the accident earlier.

I quickly got in the car and drove away from this place, 

knowing how many I had violated because I did not stop every stop light.

 I just drove straight without direction and I could not understand where the tears came from, because I am crying the whole time and I'm wondering why this fucking tears of mines are keep falling from my swollen eyes.

I have been driving for almost four hours, 

only now have I noticed that I am here by the beach. 

I was looking for a place to park my car. 

I went to a peak where you could see the whole ocean and only the breeze and the song of the birds could be heard.

It gave me peace, maybe I need this kind of silence so I can think straight and do the right thing.

30 min .......

1hr ......... ..

2hrs ..........

4hrs .............

I was awaken by the sound of my phone, my parents had been calling earlier. 

maybe they already heard the news about Jennie.

But I did not answer any call first and I turned off the phone.

I decided to go home...

I am here at Jennie and I's house.

When I entered, I cried again because.....

this house was once a witness to our love.

Here in our house we built our dreams.

We started here  in our house that we want to start a family.

But maybe not all our dreams are destined to come true. Dreams that we once developed that in a flash were suddenly shattered.

I grabbed my two suitcases and packed my belongings. I finished and I was about to leave the room and the woman I once loved entered.

We were sitting here in the living room and we were filled with silence, no one wanted to speak but it was better to break the silence first

"when did it start" i coldly question her

she bowed her head as she answered my question "last year"

So it means that almost one half fucking  year I became blind, became a fool and convinced myself that we still love each other.

"Why?" 

 Jennie knows what it mean by that question

"Lisa, I'm really tired of our situation, ...... .."

"That's fucking bullshit you know?. If you were tired from the beginning you can say  that you were tired so that I know where I would put myself, I hope you said that you were tired so that I would not look miserable and stupid, I hope you said that you were tired so that I could teach my heart to stop, I hope You said that you are tired so that I can tell myself and my brain to stay away from you because you are fucking  tired of me! of everything "...... I can no longer stop myself from breaking down because of the reasons she has.

It has nothing to do with all that I have said. 

So I asked again"Did you really love me Jen?" I was really trying not to cry myself and courage fully developed those questions

"You know I loved you lisa, I really loved you" she cried.

"You liar Jennie! Because if you love me you will not be able to do the things you are doing to me now, you will not be able to find someone that can ruined us. Maybe fully trusted you Jen because of all the people who can hurt and betray me I do not expect you to do this for me "

___________________________________________________________________________________a/n; I'm sorry for my grammatical errors cause first of all I can only used basic English.. but from the bottom of my heart thank you for those who spent their time reading this fanfic story. than you!!!!!