endgame ✦ draco malfoy

please don't go

     After the Snowflake Ball, I spent Christmas Day in my room, sulking by the fire and thinking about my current nonexistent relationship with Draco. What Theo said to me that night had me going over everything that went wrong.

    The reason why Draco broke things off with me before we left for Florence was because he felt like I didn't love him enough to fully commit. In the moment, I felt angry with him and disappointed at the way he he handled everything. When I think about it now, Draco did all these amazing things for me and I never did anything for him. The most I've done for Draco was help him with his tie in the morning before class. He was so committed to me and I spent a lot our relationship comparing it to the one I had with Theo. On top of that, I brought home a random boy I met on the streets of Paris to rub in his face that anyone would be glad to be with me.

    The night of the party before we started our seventh year, Draco asked me to stay with him and I should have. I knew that he wanted me to but I gave him an ultimatum that made him feel pushed into a corner. If I had just stayed and ended things with Louis, Draco and I would be in a good place and he wouldn't have done all these horrible things to me. Yes, Draco is responsible for his own actions but I started all of this. He brought me my favorite flowers to my grandfather's party and I completely dismissed him. I wished I wasn't such a bitch and just accepted his flowers instead of pushing him away. God, I fucked everything up.

    "Stella, honey", my mother said through my bedroom door. "Someone's here to see you"

    What is Theo doing here again?

    I got up from my bed, shutting my book and placing it on my nightstand.

    As I open my door, I said, "Theo, you don't have to check up on me, I'm f-"

    Behind the door was Draco. He had his hands in the pocket of his trousers and was looking down at his shoes.

    "What are you doing here?"

    "So... You were expecting Theo?", Draco asked, stilling looking down at his shoes.

    "What are you doing here, Draco?"

    "I came to get the cufflinks I left here on Christmas"

    "I don't remember you leaving it in my bedroom"

    "Can we talk?"

    Are you kidding me right now?

    Draco pushed my door open and entered my room, brushing his shoulder against me as he walked by. He walked over to the couch in front of my fireplace and sat down, making himself comfortable, a little too comfortable.

    I took in a deep breath and shut the door behind me before walking over to my couch and sitting down on the opposite end. Draco took out his wand and conjured two cups of tea on my coffee table. He picked up a cup and passed it to me, trying not to look me in the eye. I reluctantly accepted the cup of tea and curled up against my armrest.

    "I hate that I have to ask you this again, but what are you doing here?"

    "I can't believe I'm here right now", Draco sighed.

    "Same here", I mumbled before taking a sip of my tea.

    "I know you rather spend your day doing something other than sitting here with me"

    "Since when did you master Legilimency?", I asked sarcastically and rolling my eyes.

    "Would you cut it out, Stella?", he snapped. "I'm trying to talk to you and you're sitting here being rude"

    "Trust me, this is nothing compared to the shit you say to me"

    "That's why I'm here. I've been acting like a dick lately and-"

    "Really? I haven't noticed"

    "Usually, I would stun your ass for cutting me off and speaking to me that way but I'm going to give you a pass because I deserve it"

    How sweet. He's giving me a pass. Draco is so generous.

    "Anyways", he said rolling his eyes. "After talking to Theo, I've decided to come here and apologize to you. When you came back from Paris with Frenchie, it hurt and when you left me for him, it completely broke my heart. Seeing you leave with him instead of staying with me made me want to hurt you the way you did me"

    "So you decided to call me 'whore' and refer to me as 'that bitch'?"

    "You don't understand. I was hurt"

    "No, you don't understand", I said getting up from the couch. "I stopped when things got too far, you didn't. I felt guilty for not leaving with Louis instead of staying with you. All I wanted was you, but after what you said to me before summer holiday, I didn't want to give you the satisfaction of hurting me"

    "And I'm sorry, Stella. All of this, everything I've done is just a game"

    "It's not a game to me, Draco. The things you've said and done hurt. You made me feel little and unworthy of you. After talking to Theo, I think it's best if we just stay friends"

    "Oh, and did Theo tell you that? I knew it was a matter of time before you start running your ass back to him", he scoffed. "This is a waste of my time"

    Draco got up from the couch and started to walk towards the doors. I grabbed Draco's wrist, stopping him from walking away from me, again.

    "You don't get to walk out me, not again"

    "You're the one doing the walking out", he spat. "You gave up on us by dating Frenchie and getting close to Theo"

    "I didn't give up on us, I never did"

    "The day you let Louis think it's okay to love you, is the day you did"

    Draco ripped his wrist away from my hand and pushed me aside, making his way towards my door. He grabbed onto my doorknob and began to open the door. I took out my wand and slammed my door shut, casting the Locking Charm so he can't leave. I'm not letting Draco leave me again.

    "Stop trying to leave me!", I shouted. "All you do is leave! Why can't you just stay?!"

    "That's rich coming from you!", Draco shouted back. "You left me behind because I didn't say 'I love you'!"

    "You did that to me months before! Remember?!"

    "I-I have to go", he said shaking his head.

    "Don't go", I begged. I reached for Draco's pale cold hand, felling the chills sending through my body when I grabbed it. "Don't leave again"

    "Why?"

    "Because if you stay, I will forgive you for everything. We can start brand new again"

    "I think we need space from each other"

    I have to say it. I have to say it before it's too late.

    "Draco, I love you", I blurted.

    I looked into Draco's crystal blue eyes, waiting for him to say "I love you too". He let out a deep sigh and looked around my bedroom, trying not to look into my eyes.

    "I'm so sorry, Stella", he said kissing the top of my head.

    With a blink of an eye, Draco's hand slipped from mine and he disapparated from my bedroom.

    I can't believe the one time I finally told Draco I love him, he just disappeared, literally slipping from my hands. After everything we've gone through, I was able to find a place in my heart to forgive him for everything and it still wasn't good enough for him, I wasn't good enough for him. This the exact reason why I was so scared to tell Draco that I love him last year. Right as he heard the "I love you" come out of my mouth, he left. This is a sign to start moving on from Draco. It's not worth loving someone if they're just going to leave when you tell them.