My Yellow

39 - Two

"Have you thought about therapy?" Maddy suddenly asks after a few minutes of us sitting in silence. I look over at her.

"I've tried therapy remember? It didn't help. I just... have to get through this by myself." I say and look back at the ceiling.

"You shouldn't have to though, I think therapy could really help you," She says with a softness in her voice. I sigh.

"Maddy it won't be much help. Having to retell my story and have someone tell me how to cope, which I already know how to do I'm just bad at it," I sit up. "So I think I'm good. Plus I have you," I smile.

"You won't have me forever," she tilts her head. I frown.

"I'm not gonna be suffering when we're like 90 years old dummy," I laugh a bit. She smiles.

"I know, I just mean you never know what could," Maddy stops as her phone starts to ring. "Probably Diana," she answers the phone and spins in her chair. "Oh yes this is Maddy," she stops spinning and stares at me. I stare back at her. "Oh hi Ms. Anderson," Ms.Anderson? That's Diana's grandma. "I'm sorry you're breaking up can you repeat that?" Maddy puts a finger to her other ear so she can hear Ms. Anderson better. I hear Maddy's door open and I turn seeing Jiung and Theo, Jiung has the poster hugged to his body. I look back at Maddy. She's not looking away from me. "I..." I hear her voice break. I blink. "Can you.. can you talk to Rose please?" Maddy stands and hands the phone to me, then storms out of the room, pushing past Jiung and Theo. I furrow my brows and pick up the phone.

"Hi Ms. Anderson, how are you?" I ask and tuck hair behind my ear.

"Rose," I hear her take a shaky breath. "Diana took her own life." I pause. I stare straight ahead.

"What?" I whisper.

"Diana specifically wrote down," I hear her voice crack, and then I hear crying. "That you girls would be the first to know. That she's sorry for not keeping contact, and she wishes it would've been different. She..." I hear the phone shuffle, then uncontrollable sobbing from her end. I feel hot tears form in the corners of my eyes. "Sorry," she heaves. "She wrote two separate notes for you both."

"I don't.." I shut my eyes. "I don't understand. Where..."

"Can you girls come to America?" She whispers suddenly. I look over at Theo. He stares back at me.

"Ms. Anderson this all just happened.." I let a breath of air escape my lungs. "You should take some time with your family."

"She was all the family I had left," She says and I hear her hiccup. "You girls were the closet things I had to other grandkids. You are the closest things I have to her now," I shift.

"I," I move the phone from my left ear to my right. "Okay," I whisper. This is all going on so fast. "We can be there in two days okay? Hang tight for us," she doesn't say anything. "Are you sure... are you sure it was her?"

"Yes," I hear a male voice in the background. "I have to go, I have to re identify what I can of her." I hear a click. Her words send chills up my arms. What she can of her. I set Maddy's phone down and stand up. I rush past Theo and Jiung, but Theo grabs my arm. I shake him off and run as fast as I can to the front doors. I go outside and see Maddy sitting on the pavement, her shoulders heaving.

"Maddy," I whisper, the cold air filling my lungs. A feel a cold on my wrist, I look down at the sunflower bracelet.

"Was it actually her?" Maddy asks the same question I asked Ms. Anderson. She looks at me, her eyes are red. I pause. Considering if I should repeat what Ms Anderson said.

"Yeah, it was her," I sit next to Maddy. I'm not feeling anything, until Maddy grabs my hand. That breaks me. That absolutely breaks me.

"I don't want it to be true you know," Maddy whispers. "I had plans to go back to America this summer specifically to see her. We were talking awhile ago." I look over at her. She never told me about that, I nod a little.

"We're gonna go to America and be with Ms. Anderson for the funeral," I say quietly.

"She already has it planned?"

"No, but I'm assuming if she has one she wants us there," I say and feel hot tears go down my cheeks that turn cold from the air. "I just talked to her. I talked to her right before she did it. I..." I bring my knees to my chest. "She was acting so strange, and I just let it slip by."

"Dont think about that right now." Maddy says. "We should get our stuff together, and then get the plane tickets."

"It happened an hour ago," I whisper. The shock starting to settle in. Maddy doesn't say anything, she stands up and pulls me up with her.

"Let's get our stuff, then tomorrow we will be on our way to say goodbye," Maddy says. I lose it, my legs feel like jelly. How many more people will I not get to say goodbye to? "Come on," Maddy wipes her eyes. "Ms. Anderson needs us." I wipe my nose and try to calm my breathing. I nod and we walk back inside. We go to Maddy's room. Theo stands immediately from her bed.

"What's going on?"

Theo's POV:

"What's going on?" I ask Maddy and Rose when they come back in. Rose is crying, Maddy looks like she's trying to keep herself together.

"It's a lot to explain," Maddy says quietly. "But we're leaving for America tomorrow."

"What?" Jiung stands. The poster on his lap falls. Maddy stares at it, I see her eyes start to swell. Jiung stands there, not moving.

"There is too much happening right now," Maddy grabs the poster and hands it to Jiung. "Try again when I get back." She walks to her closet and starts getting clothes. I look over at Rose. She turns and walks out, I follow her. I grab her arm again, but she shakes me loose.

"Not right now Theo," she whispers and walks to our room. She goes in. I stand outside the door, not sure if I should go in or not. I don't want her to be alone. I don't even know what's going on, but she seems too upset to be left alone. I go in and stand by the bed. Rose sits on the edge and puts her head in her hands.

"Do you want help packing?" I ask her.

"I can do it," Rose says and stands. She goes to our closet and starts getting some shirts. It's weird seeing her stuff hung up by mine and not a pile on the floor. She pauses and turns to me. She says nothing as she walks to me and just buries her head on my shoulder. I stand there not knowing what to do, then I feel her start to cry. I put my arms around her. She cries harder. I sway gently side to side, stroking her hair gently with one hand. I don't say anything. I just let her cry. She will tell me when she's ready, and I'll be ready to listen whenever that is.