My Yellow

Part 49 - Theo

I hear the door to Anna's house open. Rose has been gone all day, it's 10pm now. I sit up from the bed and stand. "I'm going to sleep now," I hear Rose say to Anna.

"Alright dear," Anna responds. "I'll see you tomorrow before I take you to the airport."

"Okay," Rose says quietly. "Goodnight Nicole."

"Night," Nicole responds. I hear the bedroom door open, and see Rose. She doesn't even look at me. She walks and sits on the end of the bed. She takes off her shoes, then leans back.

"Hi," I say to her gently.

"Hi," she responds and now looks at me. Her eyes look sad, she frowns at me. "Why are you staring at me like that?"

"Like what?" I move and sit down by her.

"Never mind," she shuts her eyes and takes a deep breath. I lift my hand and move hair from her face. I see the tiniest of a small appear on her lips.

"Do you want to go to bed?" I ask her. "As long as you don't sleep for a whole day again."

"Hey," she opens her eyes. "I was tired. Plus it's not like I can do that again. We have to leave tomorrow," she sits up. "But can we talk? Somethings been bothering me."

"Okay shoot," I stand and take her shoes, moving them by her bag.

"I know you aren't like John," She says. I turn slowly to face to her. "I think, it's just rooted in my brain that all I deserve is to be treated like shit. So having someone," she motions to me. "Who is kind of nice.."

"Ouch," I sit down by her.

"I'm only being honest," she smiles a little and tucks hair behind her hair. "Is weird. It's weird having someone who actually wants to treat me nice and stuff."

"Is that an issue?" I ask, then immediately regret it, seeing her face fall.

"I never said it was Theo," I glance at her hands, she's picking at her fingers. "I don't even know why you would think it's an issue. I'm just saying I'm not used to it."

"Well get used to it," I grab her hands, so she stops picking.

"Is not that easy!" She moves her hands back, she runs her hands in her hair. "I want to so badly believe I deserve to be happy. But I don't think I do."

"What's making you think that?" I ask quietly.

"Everything," I shift. "I just.." she drops her hands in her lap. "I'm probably not someone you want to be romantically involved with."

"Is that you saying you don't want to be with me?" I ask her, feeling a sharp pain in my chest.

"No!" She stands. "No, it's not.. I'm just saying.."

"Well stop saying that or maybe I won't want to be with you," I say standing. The words just flow out. They aren't true at all. I may not know what she's going through, but I know I want to be with her. I want to help her.

"I don't..." Rose moves back and wraps her arms around herself. "I'm sorry."

"No," I shake my head. "I'm sorry," I run my hand in my hair and itch the back of my neck. "I shouldn't have said that. But Rose.." I start. She looks at me. She's crying. My heart sinks. I made her cry. "Rose," I whisper and walk to her. She moves back.

"I just need a second," she says in a whisper, she wipes her nose on her sleeve. "You're right. I keep saying stuff like that without thinking of how annoying it is."

"It's.. yeah it's annoying. But I get it," I clench my jaw.

"Theo I think it's best if we don't do anything," she says suddenly. I freeze. I feel a sinking feeling in my stomach. My hands going cold.

"I don't," I say quietly. I watch her shut her eyes, then just breakdown. I catch her as she nearly falls on her knees, I bring us both down to the floor. I pull her onto my lap, her legs straddled around me. I hold her. Everything else is silent besides her quiet sobs. I hold her closer than I ever have before. "I'm not going to just let you leave," I say quietly, moving her hair and laying my chin on her shoulder.

"It's hard," she says in a sob. "It's so fucking hard. Just.. trying to be okay."

"You don't have to be okay," I run my hand along her back. "You had a lot thrown at you recently. You're going to get better. I know you are," I feel her arms around me tighten. "And no matter what, I'm going to be here, even if it's only as a friend."

"I don't.." she lifts her head up and we're staring at each other. "I don't want you just as a friend."

"It's okay if you do," my eyes go from her eyes, to her lips, then back to her eyes. She wipes her eyes and shakes her head.

"I don't," she says. "Plus you still owe me a date remember?" She places her hand on the side of my face, butterflies erupt in my stomach. She leans her head down, her eyes shut. I put my hands on the sides of her face and pull her close. I feel her hands shaking, her lips brush mine.

"There's some food..." Anna says opening the door. Rose falls off of me and moves away. "Sorry I interrupted but um, theres pizza on the counter," Anna cracks the door, then reopens it, looking at me then Rose, smiling a little before shutting the door. Rose stands up and clears her throat.

"Are you hungry?" She asks me, obviously brushing off what just happened. She walks to the door, I quickly stand and grab her arm, pulling her to me.

"Yeah but not for pizza," I say, my heart racing. I grab her face and press my lips to hers. Warmth filling my body. She puts her hands on my sides, gripping my shirt pulling me to her. Her back hits the door, she's practically standing on her tiptoes to kiss me. I pull my face back, and press my forehead to hers. "Now we can get pizza," I whisper with a smile.