My Yellow

Part 5 - Rose

Now sitting on my bed, I grip my phone in my hands. I take a deep breath and look up at the wall. I look back down at my phone and open the messages. I go to the number and block it. I delete the messages and exhale a long breath. How did he get my number... I have a restraining order against him. I stand up and shake my hands out. I can't let him win. By letting him make me feel this way, I'm letting him win. I jump up and down, making the blood flow back into my legs. I look up at the stars on my ceiling. I stop jumping and stare at the star with words. I look back at my bags. I go to my large suitcase and dig around until my fingers hit something cold. I pull out a porcelain elephant. I walk over to my nightstand and set it down. I make sure the head is facing my bed. I look to my closed window and step over to it. I open the curtain and look at the blue sky. I look at the city, people walking, people just living their lives. I look at one guy in particular. My heart starts speeding up. "John.." I whisper and shut my eyes. I reopen them and see the man is just some random guy. I shut my curtains and breathe heavily. I turn back to my bed. I walk past it and go to my door. I leave my room and jump again when I'm in the hallway, shaking the thought of him out of my head. I hit my face lightly, then head back to the practice room. I hear the blasting music. I look in and see Maddy helping the boys learn dance moves. I smile a bit, and jump feeling my phone buzz. I look down at it, my heart racing. It's just a snap-chat notification from my sister. I sigh and walk into the room. I don't look at anymore, I just sit down on the floor where my drink is. I flip my phone upside down and tap my fingers on my knees. I look up at Maddy who mouths 'you good?' I nod and smile a little. I look at the boys who are doing a certain dance move. I look at Theo and smile a bit watching him dance. He doesn't seem like a robot when he is actually moving.

"Hey Rose," I hear a manger come to my left side. "You don't have to stay after today, but tomorrow you will," She says to me. I nod.

"Okay sounds good," I smile a bit and look back to the boys. I look at Keeho and we make eye contact. He winks at me. I fake gag.

'Rude' he mouths.

'sorry bout it love,' I mouth back and lean my head against the mirror behind me. I look up at the ceiling and sigh. The music in the room is loud and drowning out any thoughts I'm having. I shut my eyes and yawn a bit. I pick up my phone and look at the time, 11 am. Was I really in my room for four hours? It didn't feel like it. I open my phone and go to Instagram. I scroll through my feed and laugh a bit seeing Keeho's most recent selfie. I look up at him, they all stopped dancing to listen to Maddy. I grin a bit and look back down. I know for a fact I'm going to make fun of him later.

"We have thrity minutes left for today," Maddy says to the boys. "So I want your best."

"Yes ma'am," Jiung says. I laugh a bit watching Maddy tick her head and laugh.

"Alright, 5... 6.. 7.. 8.." Maddy calls and they start dancing again. I smile, knowing she is having fun and doing what she loves. I look over to Soul and wave at him when he looks at me, he waves back with a bright smile. I look back down at my phone and scroll down a bit more, and see a selfie Theo took. He isn't smiling, but he looks like he has emotions. I smile a bit and like the photo. I turn off my phone and watch them dance again. I stand up and grab my drink. I drink the last bit of it and walk to the trash can throwing the cup away. I feel someone looking at me, I turn around and make eye contact with Theo. He looks away and keeps dancing. I raise my eyebrows and grin a bit. I lean back against the wall by the trashcan. I'm going to ask him to come help with the lamp, I'm so very determined to make him like me. I stare at the floor feeling myself start to dissociate.

I don't realize how much time has passed until I jump hearing Makayla yell good work to them. I blink my eyes and walk over to Keeho. "Do you think Theo will want to come help us?" I ask him. Keeho turns around and wipes his brow.

"Maybe," He stares down at me. "What happened earlier? Why did you storm out like that?"

"Oh," I shift my weight back and forth on my legs and bite the inside of my cheek. "I just felt like I was going to throw up, but it was a false alarm, I was just hungry," I lie and clap my hands. "Should I ask Theo or do you want to?"

"I can," Keeho nods and walks over to Theo. I rock back on my heels, and wave to Theo when he looks over at me. Keeho comes back over. "He said he'll help," Keeho nods.

"No I didn't," Theo calls.

"Too bad you're helping!" Keeho calls back. I laugh a bit.

"He doesn't have to if he doesn't want to," I say and glance at Theo. I hook my arm with Keehos. "Let's go set up my beautiful moon lamp."

"I'll help," I hear Theo say from behind us, making Keeho jump. I let go of Keehos arm.

"Are you sure?" I ask Theo, but he doesn't say anything. "Okay cool," I clear my throat and walk out of the room, I look back and see Maddy helping Jiung with a move. I smile a bit and shake my head. I head back to my room and open the door, realizing I didn't lock it. I shrug and step inside, not shutting the door so the boys can come in. I go over to my bag and get out the lamp and some batteries. "So like," I start and feel a tickle in the back of my throat, I cough a little and shake my head. "I don't know what's wrong with it but it doesn't work."

"Here," Keeho takes the lamp from me and the batteries. He flips the lamp over and puts the batteries in. He walks to a plug and plugs it in, but the lamp doesn't turn on. "Huh weird," Keeho fiddles with the switch on the side of it. I walk over and bend down by him, taking the lamp.

"You would think it should work, nothing seems wrong with it," I sigh and unplug it. Right when I plug it, Theo takes it from me. He walks over to a different plug, kneeling down. He takes out of the batteries and switches them around, then plugs in the lamp. It turns on. "Oh," I whisper and stand up. "Guess I'm just dumb," I laugh a bit.

"Yeah," Theo crosses his arms. "Plus goes with minus and minus goes with plus," He says quietly. "Also the elephant on your nightstand is missing a tusk."

"I know it is," I watch him carefully. "I broke it when I was moving."

"Hm," Theo nods and clears his throat. "Is that all you needed?"

"Yeah," I say, kinda shocked. This was the most we have ever talked.

"Okay," He walks past me, then out the door. Keeho and I look at each other.

"Why is he.." I sigh and sit down on my bed. "Will he ever warm up to me?"

"Maybe," Keeho sits down by me. "Give it some time," He nods and pats my knee. I smile a bit and nudge his shoulder.

"Maybe tomorrow in the studio he will," I laugh a bit and lay down. I put my legs in Keehos lap, Keeho moves my legs up more and lays his arms on them.

"Keeho," I turn my head seeing Theo back in the door way. "We need to go eat," He says.

"Lunch is never this early," Keeho moves my legs off of him and stands. Theo shrugs.

"I wouldn't complain," Theo looks at me then away, biting the inside of his cheek. I sit up and tuck hair behind my ear.

"Okay guys," I smile. "I'll meet you down there," I nod and stand up.

"I'll wait for you," Theo says without looking at me. I furrow my brows. "So hurry up and get ready or whatever." Keeho laughs a bit and walks past Theo. I stand with my mouth open, sort of confused.

"Okay," I turn and look at Theo, once Keeho is gone, Theo walks in and stands by my bed. I stare at him really confused. "But why..?" I ask then look past him seeing Sungo walking past my room. I rush to the door and shut it.