My Yellow

Part 51 - Two

Rose's POV:

"Rose?" Theo's soft voice says beside me. "Come on," I feel his hand shake my arm gently. I open my eyes slowly so the light from the room doesn't immediately blind me.

"I'm awake?" I mutter, then pause. "I'm awake," I repeat but taking the questioning tone out of my voice. I sit up and rub my eyes. "What time is it?"

"Five in the morning," Theo stands next to me. I shift, feeling a little awkward.

"Oh," I stand up and look around the room. Theo packed all of our stuff already. I don't even see the suitcases.

"I left out some sweat pants and a hoodie of mine for you," Theo purses his lips and clears his throat. I nod.

"Thank you," I rock on my heels before walking to the end of the bed and grabbing the clothes. Theo nods and walks out of the room. I swiftly change and hold my dirty clothes in my hands. I look down at the hoodie and smile a little. It's a bit big, but that's expecting considering it's Theo's. I walk out of the room, shutting off the light. I walk to my suitcase by the door and slide my clothes into it.

"Are we all ready?" Anna asks from behind me. I turn to her. Nicole is standing by her side.

"I guess so..." I trail off. "Why are we up so early?"

"So you can see your dad," Anna whispers. I blink. I completely forgot about that.

"Right," I whisper and grab my suitcase by the handle. "I'm ready."

"Makayla and Keeho are gonna meet us at the airport, she says she has a surprise for you?" Anna laughs weakly.

"Oh I have a surprise too!" Nicole claps, making me jump. I shake out my hands. Something feels incredibly off today.

"Do you?" I smile a little at Nicole as we walk out, I feel a hand on mine while I'm rolling my suitcase, then I'm no longer rolling it. I glance to my side, seeing Theo now rolling mine and his suitcase to the car. I bite the inside of my cheek and walk to the trunk. I help Theo put our stuff in there, then help Nicole with hers. I get into the front seat.

"You don't want to sit with Theo?" Nicole asks me, standing with the back door open. The trunk slams shut making me flinch.

"Oh yeah," I whisper and get out of the front seat. I trade spots with Nicole and sit down in the back. Theo gets in on the other side. We are sitting pretty far from each other.

"Buckle up," Anna says starting the car. I buckle my seat belt and she starts driving. I shut my eyes and lean my head on the window. It's still dark outside, hopefully the sun is up by the time we get to the graveyard. I keep my eyes shut, feeling my body move when the car hits bumps. I feel like my brain is melting, I'm starting to allow myself to grieve. Grieve slowly. I open my eyes a little, seeing the car turn down a road with small houses. I shut my eyes again, wrapping my arms around myself.

"When's the last time you saw him?" Nicole suddenly asks. I lift my head off of the window and open my eyes.

"Not since he died," I whisper. "I couldn't bring myself to see him."

"How did he die?" Theo whisper asks. I take a small breath in.

"A heart attack. He died two years ago, it was from drugs. He did a lot of bad things in his life and I guess it finally caught up to him," I shift in my seat. "He wasn't really present for me growing up, so his death hit a little harder. I have so many unanswered questions, things I'll never get the answer to."

"Oh," Nicole looks over her shoulder at me. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," I feel Theo's eyes on me. "He finally has the peace he never got. My moms dad," I swallow my spit. "Was sort of the same, but while he was dying... he said this was his only way to leave the world. He kept trying to take his own life and it never worked so he went to drugs. And I wonder if that's what my dad did," I watch Anna pull into the graveyard. She starts driving slow.

"Maybe," Nicole looks away from me. "Still that's... that's a lot."

"I know," I shrug," I watch her pass a section. "Here, stop here," I say to her. She stops and puts the car into park. I unbuckle and get out. The wind is blowing cold, I shiver. I walk through the grass, seeing the sun is getting higher into the sky. I find a grave that reads "William R. Jones, 1962-2019" I walk and stand in front of the stone. "Hi dad."

Theo's POV:

"Hi dad," Rose says as she kneels in front of the tombstone. I walk and stand beside her. "You're a little dusty," Rose uses the hoodie sleeve and wipes off the top of the stone. "This is Theo," she points to me. I wave to the stone, but immediately stop. "He's cool I guess," She doesn't laugh or even smile. I watch her hand run over the lettering. "There's not much I want to say to you. Besides goodbye," she takes a small breath. "And I love you. Thank you for trying to be a better person for me when I was growing up, and I'm sorry you fell back into old habits. I'm not mad at you anymore. I know you're at peace," She stands and wipes off her knees. "Bye Dad," she walks to the stone and lays one kiss to it. She walks past me, I go to grab her hand but she shakes me off and walks back to the car. I look at the tombstone, I kneel where Rose did.

"Hi Mr. Jones," I clear my throat and glance behind me to the car to make sure no one is listening. I look back to the name. "I'm Theo, or Choi Taeyang," I shift. "Either one is... fine..." I squeeze my eyes shut, then open them. "I'm sorry I'm bad at this. But I want to ask you permission to date your daughter sir," I look away from the tombstone. "She's a really great woman, she's very strong and intelligent," I smile a little, then get a feeling in my chest and stomach. "She's very caring and loving, and on top of that she's gorgeous," I sit down in the grass. "I really like her sir," my stomach churns, but I don't feel sick. "Can I be honest?" I look up to the tombstone. "I think it's more than liking her, it's a stronger feeling. And I know I'm shitty at showing it, and I know it's going to be hard, but it's something I'm willing to work for, fight for even. I want to date her... maybe even one day marry her and I want your permission," I feel a breeze pass by me I zip up my jacket and bite the inside of my cheek. I don't know what I'm waiting for, it's not like he's going to say something to me. I stand up from the grass and freeze. I watch as a purple and blue butterfly lands on his tombstone, and just sits there, seemingly staring at me. It flutters its wings, then flys away. I blink. "I ah," I raise my eyebrows. "I promise to take good care of her sir. I love her," I feel my eyes go wide as I say that. I raise my finger about to back track, when three more butterflies land on the stone. I drop my hand. "Keep that between you and I," I whisper to the butterflies. One flaps it's wings. "Okay well, I have to go. It was great to meet you and speak with you," my eyes go from the writing on the stone to the butterflies a few times. "Weird," I mutter and walk back to the car. I get in.

"All ready?" Anna asks me as I shut the door.

"Yes," I nod.

"Off we go," Anna puts the car in drive and starts going.

"What did you say to him?" Rose whispers me, I look over at her. She has her arms around herself tightly, she's not making eye contact. I put my hand under her arm and pull her to me, so our knees are touching.

"Nothing important," I say to her. She finally looks at me. "Did he like butterflies?"

"Yeah," she nods. "He had a tattoo of a purple and blue one on his forearm."

"Oh," I blink my eyes and shiver. "That's cool."

"Why do you ask?"

"No reason," I put my arm around her shoulder. "Are you ready to go home?"

"I wouldnt say home," Rose shakes her head.

"Right home is here," I rub her shoulder. She shakes her head again.

"Home is wherever you are," I see a grin spread on her face.

"That was incredibly cheesy," I laugh a little, but feel my heart flutter and my stomach erupt with butterflies.