My Yellow

Part 19 - Rose

TW: Blade, self-harm, and SA

I jolt awake hearing a banging on my door. I sit up, my eyes still feel swollen. I look around the room and see Maddy and Keeho asleep on the floor. I jump hearing the banging again. "Hold on!" I call. I get out of bed and head to my door. I open it and see Nina standing there.

"Oh dude what happened, it looks like you got pepper sprayed," she laughs a bit.

"Because she did!" Keeho groans. I smile weakly at Nina and move so she can come in. She steps inside.

"Yeah I had a rough night," I whisper. Nina nods and crosses her arms.

"I'm sorry," she pouts. "Is that why the CEO is here?"

"Huh?" I turn to Maddy and Keeho, Keeho is back asleep. Maddy is still asleep. "Oh maybe," I turn back to Nina. "Did he ask for me?"

"Mhm," she nods. "That's why I'm here," she tilts her head. "Can I ask what happened?"

"Oh uh," I shift my weight. "A man grabbed me last night and I pepper sprayed him, and I accidentally got it into my eyes." I look back to Maddy and Keeho. I told them the whole story last night and now they don't want me to go anywhere alone incase John comes back. I shift again and sigh. "Where is he waiting for me at?"

"Well wait," Nina frowns. "Do you remember who grabbed you? You should file a report..." I stare at her. The feeling of Johns hands coming back. The way he talked into my ear and tried to pull my dress up. I bite the inside of my cheek.

"No I don't remember who it was," I whisper, my voice cracking. Nina steps forward and pats my shoulder.

"You're so strong," she says with a small smile. I search her face. No I'm not. "Oh and he's in the main meeting room, you can get ready then meet him there."

"Okay," I nod and look down at my bare feet. Nina lingers for a second, sighs, then walks out. I turn to my unpacked bags. I walk over and grab out my pill bottle. I set it on the dresser. I dig around and quickly pull out my hand. My finger is bleeding. I throw out my clothes and stare at the blade in the bottom of my bag. I pick it up and examine it. I look back to Maddy and Keeho. I shake my head and walk to the bathroom. I open the trashcan and throw it away. I go back to my now pile on the floor clothes and dig through until I find Jeans and a simple t-shirt. I change quickly and move my hair over my shoulder. I go to my phone on the bed and grab it. I slide on my vans and head to my door. I hesitate opening it. I look down at my bleeding finger. I tilt my head back and go to the bathroom again. I open the cupboard and get a bandaid. I wrap my finger and walk out of the room. I shut the door and head down the hallway. I take a left and go towards the meeting room. I see Theo sitting in one of the chairs, and Sungho is sitting across from him. I take a deep breath and walk in, shutting the door. I feel a bit better knowing Theo is here. I walk and sit down by Theo. Sungho gives me a small pity smile.

"So I heard about what happened last night," Sungho starts. "We take the safety of our staff very seriously, so if you could recount what happened, and we can do a proper investigation."

"Um," I feel my breathing getting heavy.

"I told you," Theo says lowly. "I told you what she told me. I don't understand why we needed her to come here."

"Because, we need to hear it from her, not just you," Sungho says with a tap of his pen. I keep hearing him say 'we', I look up from my hands, and in the corner of the room are two police officers. I feel my heart beating faster.

"Just try your best sweetie," a female officer says with a soft smile. Her smile almost makes me break, but I don't want to cause more trouble than I have already. I look back at my hands.

"It was a man," I say with a deep breath. "Well, here," I look at the female officer. "I was walking home from a date-"

"What were you wearing?" Sungho asks suddenly. I feel my breath hitch as a memory comes back to me.

Flash back

"What were you wearing?" My mom hissed at me, sitting at the dining table after I had just told her what John did to me.

"I don't.." I felt the hot tears stream down my face. "I was in a hoodie and the plaid pants," I whispered.

"Are you sure? Have you been treating him correctly? Why all of a sudden now are you screaming rape when you've been together for two years." She slammed her hand down.

"I was scared," I said quietly. "I still am."

"Scared my ass!" She screamed. "What were you wearing? Did you tease him?"

End of flashback

"What was she wearing?" Theo yells, snapping me out of my thoughts. I stare at him. His face is red. "You're a joke!"

"Sir calm down," the male officer says. "Sungho do not chime in."

"Yeah it's best if you don't," the female officer says with hatred in her voice. "Darling it doesn't matter what you were wearing, no one deserves this." You probably deserved it the words of my mom ring in my head. I open my mouth, then shut it.

"Um," I whisper and dig my nails into my palm. "I was coming back from a date," I repeat. "And I walked by an alleyway and felt someone grab me," my voice cracks worse than I've heard it. I'm about to cry. "And... and" I feel my chest heaving, the world is spinning. I've never talked about this stuff out loud to police before. The room is slowly going black. "I think I'm about to pass out," I try to take a deep breath. I watch the female officer stand and walk to me. I feel her hand on my back. She's telling me how to breathe, I follow her directions. But I'm no longer in my body. I see myself in third person. We're standing now, she's leading me out of the room. She's sitting me on a bench. I take a deep breath and I'm back in my body. I touch my arm, making sure I'm actually here. I look to her, and she gives me a soft smile.

"There she is," she says gently. "You and I will just talk okay? No men allowed," she rubs my back. I smile weakly.

"Okay," I nod. She sits down next to me.

"So tell me as best as you can, what happened?" She says softly. I nod and look to the room, Theo is staring at me. Not looking away. I look back to the pen and paper the female officer has in her hand.

"Can I write it out?" I ask quietly.

"Will that be better?" She asks, handing me the pen and paper. I nod.

"It will. Thank you," I take the pen and start writing.