My Yellow

The List. 16. Rose.

I open the front door and step outside. I shut the door behind me. I step into the rain and look up at the dim sky. I sit down in the drive way. "It's weird," I say to the sky, hoping Diana can hear me. "You're showing is literally tomorrow," I take a deep breath. "I don't think I'm entirely ready to let you go, but I know I have to. At some point. You..." I move hair from my face. "You did something so incredibly dumb, but I'm not mad at you. No one is. You probably felt this was your only way out," I look back up to the sky. "I hope you know now, it wasn't. It most definitely wasn't," I lay down in the driveway. The rain hitting my face feels so nice. I hear the front door open. I sit up a bit and look. Maddy and Nina step out, then run to me. They both lay down next to me. I lay back down.

"The crazy bitch actually did it, huh?" Maddy whispers. I nod, feeling warm tears rolling down my cheeks.

"She did," I whisper. "She really did."

"I didn't know her," Nina says. "But she seemed like such a fun person."

"She really was. Life tried to fuck her and she fucked it right back," I laugh and wipe my eyes, unsure of what's tears and what's rain.

"Remember the time she got suspended because she decked a boy for lifting up a girls skirt?" Maddy asks me.

"Oh yeah, and she was pissed the boy didn't get any repercussions," I shake my head.

"What was his name?" Maddy asks. I feel the rain grow more steady.

"I think it was Cameron or something," I shut my eyes.

"I would've decked him too," Nina sighs. "Men are gross."

"They really are," I laugh a bit. "What's next on the list?" I ask Maddy.

"For us to have a sleep over in the tree house, then tomorrow after the funeral, spread her ashes in our special place," Maddy whispers.

"Oh," I open my eyes. "Wow," I lift my arms up, touching the rain. "She's really gone?"

"She really is," Maddy sniffles a bit. I hear the front door open.

"You guys are gonna catch a cold or something," Keehos voice echos. "You should come in."

"Okay," Maddy calls. She sits up. Nina sits up with her. I stay down. "Coming Ro?"

"I'm going to stay here for awhile, I'll be okay," I say to her.

"Alright, don't stay out too long," Nina says and I hear them both walk away. Then I hear footsteps coming back to me.

"Guys, I'm okay go inside," I say and open my eyes. Theo is now sitting by me. I shut my eyes and move over a bit.

"Don't be like that," Theo moves to me. "Are you okay?"

"Shockingly, yes," I say in short and open my eyes. "I just miss her yanno?"

"I know," Theo lays down.

"Is your hair going to get messed up?"

"I don't really care," I turns his head to me. I turn my head to me. "Dance with me?"

"Right now?" I sit up.

"Well yeah," Theo says. "I'm sure Diana would love it."

"She probably would," I laugh a little. "Okay, but you lead."

"As always," he stands and extends his hand to me. I take it and stand up. He places his other hand on my waist, and we start slow dancing in the rain. I lean my head to his shoulder and shut my eyes. "Rose?"

"Hm?" I lift my head up. Theo leans and places his lips on my forehead, then pulls back and presses his forehead to mine.

"You're incredibly strong you know that?" He whispers. I take a shaky breath and stop moving. I just start sobbing. Theo drops his hands, then pulls me close to him. I lay my forehead on his shoulder. Heaving for air.

"I don't..." I gasp for air. "I don't feel strong."

"But you are," his hand rubs along my back. The rain is picking up. "You're the strongest girl I know. You've gone through so much and you're still standing."

"Barely," I say in a sob.

"Barely my ass," Theo moves me, so I meet his eyes. "You're still here. Taking life by the balls."

"Ew," I laugh weakly and hiccup. Theo cups my face.

"Twisting them," he makes a hand motion of twisting something.

"Ew! Stop," I laugh more and push him.

"I'm serious flower," Theo moves some of my wet hair from my face. "You're kicking life's ass."

"I'm trying," I take a deep breath. "Thank you Theo."

"Twisting the balls of life!" He says in a laugh.

"Stop with that!" I laugh again.

"There's more of that beautiful laughter," Theo pulls me back in a hug. "Do you wanna go inside before we get struck by lighting?"

"Mhm," I nod and move from him. Theo steps close and kisses my forehead again, sending a warmth through my body. He moves back and motions for me to go first. I look at the sky and give a sad smile, before walking inside. I stand in the door way, dripping water. Maddy walks to me and hands me
A towel.

"Second to last thing," Maddy hands me the list. I stare at number 17.
17: have one last sleepover in the treehouse in Maddys backyard. Girls only. Your boy toys will have to sit this out.

"Girls only... boy toys? Such a Diana thing," I laugh and hand her the list back. I wrap the towel around myself.

"I already loaded clothes and everything In there, so whenever you're ready," Maddy nods. "Nina is already in there."

"Are the boys gonna sleep in here?" I ask

"Yup," Maddy steps close. "Keeho and Jorge really hit it off," I look over at the couch. Keeho and Jorge are laughing and are being all cuddly.

"That's disgustingly cute," I whisper with a laugh.

"Right? Okay I'll meet you in there!" Maddy pats my shoulder and heads to the backyard. I turn to Theo.

"Sleep well grumpy," I smile at him.

"You too flower," Theo tucks hair behind my ear, before walking and going into the bathroom. I walk to the back door and go outside. I make a run for it to the tree house. I climb up the stairs and go inside.