My Yellow

Part 50 - Rose

My lips tingle. I move away from the door, so Theo can go out. He opens the door and looks at me. "Are you coming?"

"In a second," my voice cracks. I put my hand over my mouth. Theo laughs a little and walks out. I press my back to the wall and place my fingers on my lips, the feeling of his still on mine. I've never felt that way, kissing someone. It felt like.. walking through the soft rain in the summer. Or running through a field of flowers. My hands are shaking. Is this what it's supposed to feel like? I step back from the wall and walk into the kitchen. Theo is getting a plate of pizza. I need to make sure. I stand beside him, and clear my throat.

"Yes?" He looks down at me. I stand on my tiptoes, wrapping my arms around the back of his neck, kissing him again, harder than last time. Theo puts his hands on my waist, backing me up slightly. I get the same feeling, but there's a new feeling. Safety. I pull back from him, moving my arms from around his neck. I nod, feeling the heat in my cheeks.

"Just checking," I say quietly and walk back into the room.

"I.." I hear Theo say something but I can't make out what it is. I sit down on the bed, then lay down getting under the covers. I roll over and shut my eyes, bringing the blanket over my face. Why does this feel like the first time I've ever kissed someone? It's not. Maybe because it's the first time someone has kissed me properly, and respectfully. I feel giddy, I feel weird, I feel a lot of things. I squeeze my eyes shut and shift my legs. I so badly want to tell Makayla, but I know she would make a huge deal of it. So maybe I won't yet.

"Do you want to eat?" Theo's voice says softly from the doorway. I shake my head. "Is that a no?" I nod. "You're confusing me."

"No," I say quietly and curl up a bit.

"Okay well, there's a few pieces left," Theo walks into the room and shuts the door while turning off the bedroom light. He walks and lays down on the other side of the bed. He gets under the covers. "So I got a text from Soul, he said that the managers are planning a camping trip or something for us?"

"Oh?" I whisper and lift my head from under the covers.

"Yeah they feel the staff and the members can use a nice break," I squint a bit to see Theo in the now dark room.

"That's cool, I love camping," I say quietly

"Do you?" He asks

"I do, my dad would take me a lot when I was younger. It's my favorite thing," I nod and put my head back under the blanket. Theo also puts his head under the blanket.

"Maybe you can teach me some of the stuff he taught you?" He whispers.

"Yeah, I would love to," I nod and shut my eyes. "You know my dad would've loved you," I say softly.

"You think so?" He asks.

"I know so..." I trail off. "I never went to see his grave."

"We can go before the flight okay?" Theo reaches and takes my hand. "I wanna meet him too," he gives my hand a squeeze.

"You're gonna make me cry," I say with a weak laugh.

"It's true," he says and moves closer to me. "Plus, I have some things I wanna ask his permission of."

"Like what?" I bury my face in his chest.

"That's between me and your dad," he laughs a little and runs his hand through my hair. "He made one hell of a woman."

"A sorry excuse for a woman," I shake my head.

"Shut up," Theo puts his hand on the side of my face, moving my head so I'm looking at him. "You're one hell of a woman, and I won't stand for this slander against yourself."

"Humbug," I raise my eyebrows.

"Humbug my ass," Theo kisses my forehead. "Now come here," he pulls me closer to him, wrapping his arms around me. I bury my face back into his chest and shut my eyes. "Sleep."

"I'll try," I whisper and wrap my arms around him. "I'll definitely try."

"That's all I can ask for," Theo sets his chin on top of my head. I move my head to the side and place my ear on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. I listen to the rhythm of his heart, starting to doze off. Feeling like nothing in the world can truly touch me. Nothing can get me. Not the monsters under my bed, not the wild animals outside, not even John. I feel safe, safer than I have in years.