Letters- Cedric Diggory

10

Tw: Sexual Assault
Tw: Self Harm
October 1993

It was late October now, Brendon and I haven't been able to go on our date yet but we had been spending more time together. It seems like Cedric was wrong, he cared about me.

Cedric had been extremely pissed off that I was still talking to Brendon. He hadn't apologized for getting pissed off that I'm going on a date with Brendon, but I hadn't apologized for getting mad at him so we were both being immature about it.

Brendon and I were quietly studying in my dorm when Fred and George walked in.
"Lexie, We need your help with a prank" Fred said. I looked over to Brendon and he just nodded.
"Okay, when?" I said, darting my eyes between the twins.
"Now" They said in unison.
"Okay" I shrugged.

I followed Fred and George out of my dorm. We made it to the common room door before someone asked me what I was doing.

"Alexandria, what are you doing?" It was Cedric.
"It's still Lexie, and pulling a prank" I said, wanting to leave.
"You're a prefect" He laughed. Damn it.
"Shit" I muttered under my breath. I turned to Fred and George and apologized for not being able to help.

"We have rounds tonight too" Cedric called from his seat in the corner of the common room.
"What time?" I asked, walking over to him.
"Nine, it's two per floor so we have to do it together" He said, finally looking up at me. I walked over to the table he was sitting at and sat down next to him.
"I'm gonna be late, I'm practicing with Pansy in the Slytherin common room" I said.
"Practicing for what?" He asked.
"Flitwicks choir club, we're doing a duet together" I said, still not looking at him.
"I didn't know you could sing, let me hear" He said eagerly.
"I'm full of secrets, and no you're not going to hear me sing" I smiled.

We sat in silence for a bit before I spoke up
"I'm sorry for yelling at you." I was done with being mad at him so I apologized first.
"I'm sorry too, I shouldn't have told you not to go out with him" He said, fiddling with the rings on his fingers.
"I still haven't gone out with him" I said quietly.
"What, why?" He snapped his head towards me.
"We haven't found time yet" I shrugged.
"If he does anything I'll beat his ass" He said, punching my arm lightly.
"No you won't" I laughed.

***

I was glad that I apologized to him, it really made me feel better. My mood had lifted immediately after we had talked.

I walked back up to my dorm, to see Brendon still studying. I sat back down next to him and got my books out again. We both continued studying in silence.

Tw: Sexual Assault
———————————

I was writing my charms essay when Brendons hand moved to my thigh. I brushed it off of me, thinking that he would get the hint. He didn't. He moved it closer to my inner thigh this time.

I grabbed his hand and moved it off again.
"Stop" I said, making eye contact with him. I let go of his hand and moved my attention back to my essay. He had finally stopped, thank merlin.

I wanted to leave, I wanted him to leave. I closed my books and put my things away.
"I have to go do something, so um, can you leave?" I said, feeling like I was being rude.
"We can just hang out for a little longer" He said, leaning closer to me. I moved back from him.
"Get out" I said again, shoving him away.

He got on top of me and pinned me to the floor.
"Get off of me" I whispered.

He's going to hurt me.

I'm not safe.

I'm scared.

He ripped my shirt open and pulled on my skirt. Tears streamed down my face. My heart was racing, I could barely breath.

I need to get out.

I can't let him hurt me.

I kneed him in between his legs, making him let go of me and roll of the floor next to me. I grabbed his arm and dragged him out of my dorm, throwing his things out the door after him.

Tw: Self Harm
————————

I slammed the door and leaned against it, trying to get my breathing under control. I locked my door and sat down on the floor.

I dug my nails into my thighs. The pain distracted me from the racing thoughts inside my head and my heart pounding. The stinging on my legs was still present as I stared off thinking about what I did that would make him do that.

Theres something good thing about scratching.

It goes away until you do it again.
————————————

I looked over to my clock and realized that I had to go practice with Pansy. I got up and walked into my bathroom to make myself look like nothing had happened.

I fixed my hair and makeup, and fixed my clothes. I took deep breaths before opening the door slightly to see if he was still there. He wasn't. I walked down the stairs to the common room, looking around the corner to see if Brendon was there.

He was sitting on a couch near the fire. I calmed myself down and decided the best idea was to walk to the door quickly. So I did it. I walked across the room quickly, hoping he wouldn't notice.

***

I had made it through the common room. Pansy had noticed that something was wrong, but I didn't tell her. I couldn't tell her. You can't just tell someone you barely know something like that.

We finished practicing our duet. We were singing a love story duet. Flitwick had let us choose our partners and our song, so Pansy and I picked each other.

I walked out of the Slytherin common room where I was met with Cedric standing in front of me.
"Hey, I just thought I would meet you here, cause we have rounds, y'know" He said, looking around the corridor.
"Yeah" I nodded.

authors note:

sexual assault hotline: 1-800-656-4673

suicide prevention lifeline: 1-800-273-8255

you are loved

you matter

you deserve to be alive

:)