The Distance Between Us

Track Fifty One - You're Not Sorry

"Ridzyyyyyy! I'm so happy today!" Muskaan squealed, hugging her best friend tight. "It's the best day of my life!"

Riddhima couldn't help but be happy in Muskaan's happiness, her extreme enthusiasm having her dance around the room too.

Muskaan hadn't stopped squealing since Rahul had confessed to her, and though Riddhima was worried that she might go deaf soon, seeing as how Muskaan was screaming in her ear for the past half an hour, she would not trade it for the world. Riddhima hadn't seen Muskaan this happy in years. She was exuberant in a way Riddhima didn't think she was capable anymore.

The past few years had left bitter marks in the lives of all their friends, but Riddhima didn't think anyone had suffered as much as Muskaan had. For the others at least had their partners by their side, and those who didn't - her, Armaan, and Rahul - had chosen to walk away from their relationships for whatever reasons at various points in life. Riddhima wasn't trying to belittle the pain Rahul had felt when he'd chosen to break up with Muskaan so that she could find a partner with whom she could have kids, or Armaan's when he'd had to make the choice between lying to Riddhima and leaving or staying behind with the possibility that he might end up physically hurting her. She was definitely not discounting her own pain of having given into her parents' demands to marry Sid when her heart so completely belonged to Armaan, or the helplessness she'd felt at starting over after getting her marriage annulled. But at least all three of them had made their choices, right or wrong they may have been. Muskaan though, she'd been given no choice as Rahul single-handedly made the decision for both of them. Yes, Riddhima practically had had no choice but to marry Sid, but even she had been able to break free of that marriage in a year. But Muskaan had been living with the consequences of Rahul's choice for 8 long years.

And now, finally, she'd gotten her shot at happiness and Riddhima was so ecstatic. Muskaan was the best person she knew. Kind and welcoming, determined and hard-working, the best friend anyone could ask for. She deserved all that her heart desired and it was finally one step closer.

"I'm so happy for you, Muskaan," Riddhima whispered, hugging Muskaan tight. "You deserve all the happiness in the world. I'm so glad that Rahul decided to give the two of you an honest chance. All those years ago, you guys had barely even acknowledged your feelings for each other before Rahul had to leave because his dad was diagnosed with cancer, and then him finding out about his issues... You never even got the chance to be with him. But now you do, and I hope he treats you the way you deserve."

"He already does," Muskaan replied. "Rahul has always treated me well, you know. And I know that we barely had a couple of days after her confessed to me, but I guess... Well, I already knew before that. Both of us did. It was still not enough time, there never can be, but in a way, I almost don't regret it, you know? Because, I mean, imagine if I'd talked him into staying back then, but then later ended up resenting him? 25 year old Muskaan didn't know if 35 year old Muskaan would be fine with the 'no biological kids' thing no matter how much I tried to assure him otherwise. That would've just made both of us even more miserable, if that had ended up happening. And I mean, I already told you... In his place, I might've taken the same decision. Plus, these years apart have made us grow so much and now we'll both appreciate what we have even more than before. So all things considered, maybe it wasn't so bad. I mean, okay. It was bad. It was very bad. I hurt so much and there were days where I didn't even know why I was trying. I wanted... Wow. I wanted so many things. Some days I wanted Rahul, other days I never wanted to see his face or hear his name, and still others when I felt I could kill him without feeling remorse. Sometimes I felt like I should give into my parents' demands and marry someone and others I hated them for even suggesting such a thing. It was really difficult. But it was worth it. Because I have Rahul now. And I have all our friends. And my family. And that's all I ever wanted, really. So, it's okay. There was a lot of darkness in my life but it was worth it for this sunshine."