The Distance Between Us

Track Sixty Seven - Raakh

Sid sighed as he watched Tamanna playing with her daughter and some of the other kids from the orphanage. It had been weeks since he'd confessed to Tamanna but was yet to get a response from her. He understood that it might've been sudden for her, and she needed time to process what he'd said. He was happy to wait till she was sure. He just hadn't anticipated that she would take so long to come to a decision. Maybe he ought to speak to her himself, he decided. 

Luck seemed to be on his side as the moment the thought crossed his mind, he saw Rahul amble his way across the lawn and pick Myra up in his arms. Suddenly, all the kids' attention was taken by whatever Rahul was saying, and Tamanna was left alone as the gaggle of children ran around with Rahul. Deciding to take advantage of the situation, Sid immediately walked up to Tamanna.

"Hey," he greeted her, a hopeful grin etched across his face. 

"Hey," Tamanna replied, looking anywhere but him. It struck Sid as odd, but he shrugged it off. Maybe she was feeling shy. 

"Ummm, how are you?" He asked her.

"Fine," she replied, not saying anything else, not even politely enquiring after Sid. 

It was getting clearer that she didn't want to have a conversation with him. Maybe it was still too soon for her? Sid didn't know. What he knew was that it had been too long for him. He couldn't wait any longer in this limbo without knowing the outcome. So, despite her disinterest, Sid continued. "Ummm," he mumbled, scratching the back of his neck. "Can we talk? In private?"

Tamanna exhaled sharply through her nose. She should've known it was coming. There was no way that she could avoid this. Sid would demand answers. She had always known that. She was just hoping for more time to get her bearings in order and make peace with his past, lest she did something unforgivable in her anger. That she would never get romantically involved with Sid had become abundantly clear to her by now, but she still wanted to let him down gently. She wasn't entirely sure if he deserved that kindness, but she didn't want any unnecessary drama in her life. But, Riddhima's words were echoing in her mind, clear as the day she'd spoken them, Riddhima's sobs still plaguing her thoughts, Armaan's helplessness in being unable to comfort her, still playing like a scene when she closed her eyes. 

However, if Sid was so eager, she wouldn't make him wait. It struck her just then, how Sid had promised that he'd wait however long she wanted, but was now here, only a few days since their previous conversation. Clearly, he hadn't meant what he'd said back then. It only strengthened her resolve. 

"What's up?" She asked once they'd walked to a somewhat secluded spot on the premises. 

"I'm sure you know what I wanted to ask," Sid replied. Tamanna bobbed her head but didn't verbalize a response. "Look, Tamanna. I know I said I'll wait for you. And I will, trust me. But I just… I need to know. Are you thinking about it? Which direction are you leaning in? Can we be together? If not now, then sometime in the future?"

Tamanna almost scoffed at him. If he was willing to wait, why was he pressuring her for an answer? She took a deep breath so as to not shout, before saying. "I did think about it. And I've decided. I just hadn't said anything because I was trying to find a way to break it to you gently. I'm sorry, Sid. I can't be in a relationship with you."

"You… What?" Sid looked at her, almost flabbergasted. She didn't? In any scenario, Sid hadn't expected that. Whenever he pictured this conversation, Tamanna was eagerly saying yes. Or, asking for a few months to get her affairs in order to move back to India, which is when they'd date. Maybe even some time to get her daughter used to the idea. But never an outright no.