The Distance Between Us

Track Sixty Four - Kar Chalna Shuru Tu

Track 64 - Kar Chalna Shuru Tu, Shilpa Rao & Vishal Dadlani

"Good morning, Dr. Mallik!" A chipper Devyani greeted Armaan as he walked into the locker room the next day. Armaan tried to smile at her, but failed miserably, still bogged by the weight of Riddhima's truth. He hadn't had much sleep last night either, tossing & turning, thinking about all that she had revealed to him. He was genuinely stumped at her strength. He'd always known that his Basket was a strong woman. She'd survived finding out she was adopted, had picked herself back up every time he'd broken her heart, had weathered through his amnesia... Doing everything with a smile on her face. But this? This was something else. The magnitude of what Sid had put her through... Armaan had never wanted to beat someone as bad in his entire life. It was a wonder truly, that he hadn't yet.

Armaan knew he was no saint. He hadn't been the best partner to Riddhima when they'd been together. He'd gotten a little rough with her a few times, and yes, he'd hurt her emotionally a lot more. He regretted that deeply. He'd already apologized for it too, and by some miracle, Riddhima had forgiven him as well... But what Sid had done... He couldn't imagine doing that in his wildest dreams. Clicking photos, imposing himself on her, pushing her so hard that she banged her head with a force enough to make her bleed... And that was not counting the mental trauma of having to be humiliated in front of all her juniors day in and day out, of living in the same house as the man whose mere presence made her quiver in fear because she didn't know what he'd do next... Yeah, Armaan wanted to beat Sid up.

But more than that, he was mad at himself... For thinking that Sid had ever been the right choice for Riddhima, for helping Sid woo her, for treating him like a brother, for loving him like one. He should've been a better judge of character. To think that he'd all but pushed Riddhima into the arms of the man who had hurt her so much made him want to hit himself so hard. Even if unknowingly, he had made her life harder, had made her reconcile with her... He couldn't even think the word. Not for Riddhima. Riddhima deserved nothing but happiness in her life and to think that's the thing she craved for the most... It broke his heart.

"Armaan! Kaisa hai?" Atul's anxious voice pulled him out of his self loathing.

"Hi Champ," he mumbled, not looking him in the eye. He didn't know how to feel about Atul. Riddhima had repeatedly assured him that had it not been for Atul she would not have survived those days before the wedding... But why had he not stopped the wedding itself? He may have tried his best, but his best wasn't fuxking good enough. Riddhima still had to marry the man who didn't think twice about getting into bed with her to click pictures to use as blackmail.

But, even still, Armaan knew that if there was something Atul could've done to stop it all from happening, he'd done it... Because that's the kind of person he was. He tried his best at everything he did. He poured his heart and soul into it. But sometimes, things didn't work out the way he wanted. That was life. It just sucked so much that this time, his failure ended in Riddhima's unwanted marriage.

Oblivious to the internal struggle in Armaan's mind, Atul walked up to him and pulled him in a tight hug. "I'm sorry I wasn't around," he said. What Atul was apologizing for was not being there when Armaan lost his patient, but what Armaan heard it as, in his current state, was Atul apologizing for not being there when Riddhima needed him. For a single, torturous second, Armaan contemplated pushing Atul away before he gave into his sorrow and burrowed into Atul's arms.

A few moments later, Atul pulled back and patted Armaan's head. "Don't worry, Armaan. It'll be okay. You can't save everyone every time. I know it sounds a little callous, but that's the truth. As doctors, we need to face it."