The Distance Between Us

Interlude

(I'm posting this in between 54 & 55 because I feel this is a better placing for the chapter rather than after 57, though that was where it was originally supposed to have been published. But, as I wrote it, this made more sense to me, and so, I decided to go back and edit everything to add a new chapter in the middle. Reading this will not affect whatever happens in 55-57 in anyway, so be rest assured that this is not taking away from your reading experience in that sense. This chapter sort of just summarizes what happened in 55-57 in short, as far as AR & RaMusk are concerned. It's in Tamanna's POV and it will be an integral chapter for the story moving forward, so please don't skip it!)

Tamanna sighed as she looked out the window. Myra was playing with some of the kids from the chawl. It warmed Tamanna's heart to see Myra finally opening up to her, and also finding friends in the kids who lived in her parents' chawl, but she couldn't help but feel caged. Living with Armaan had definitely spoiled her. She was not used to the million questions she was forced to answer here, not just to her parents, but to their neighbours as well. She absolutely couldn't stand all these restrictions that were suddenly placed on her. In New York, no one questioned Tamanna about what she wore, what she ate, where she went, or what time she came home. As long as she was safe, nothing else mattered. But here, everyone was up in her business all the time, and she didn't like it.

Tamanna had always harboured hope of coming back to Mumbai and settling here for good. Not in the near future, but some day. She had plans of coming back to the place that had been her home for most of her life and making it her home again. Now, it seemed futile. She didn't think she'd ever be comfortable in Mumbai, not with so many people breathing down her neck. And they would be, she knew. No matter whether she lived with her parents or not, they, especially her mother, would have a lot of expectations from her. She didn't want that. She had lived her life according to others for too long. Now, she wanted to live it on her own terms.

That was a huge reason why she had not said yes immediately when Sid had all but proposed to her a couple days ago. To say that she was shocked was definitely an understatement. She would not deny that something had been brewing between the two of them back when they worked together, but it was years ago. It was just a silly little crush. She had gotten over him within weeks after getting to Canada. She hadn't known that he had still been carrying a torch for her all these years later. She had wanted to say no outright, but had not. Some of it was because she didn't want to seem too rude, but a part of her had also been excited at the prospect. She didn't like Sid romantically anymore, but maybe, if she gave him a chance, it could change? She hadn't given romance a thought in the past few years, but then it wasn't like there was anyone jumping at the chance to be involved with her. Sid was the first person since... well, since Aniket.

Now, more and more, she wanted to say no. Would Sid expect her to move back to India to be with him? She couldn't do that. The past few days were testament enough that Mumbai would never be her home again. Even if she could grin and bear it, she would never let Myra be brought up like that. With so many restrictions, the way she had. She remembered how meek and pliable she had been before, how easily scared and flighty. It had taken her a lot to let go of that girl to become the woman she was today. She did not want her daughter to feel even an ounce of fear that she had.

And anyway, even if Sid turned out to be a decent partner, she did not think he was anywhere close to a passable father, let alone a decent one. The way he'd talked about Myra was proof enough.

I don't even mind that you have a daughter, he'd said, as if her having a child made her lesser in any way.

I will try to accept her as well, he'd said, as if her daughter was not the best thing that had ever happened to her.