The Distance Between Us

Track Fifty Four - When You're Ready

It was as if someone had snapped the tightness around Armaan loose. Maybe not so visible to others, but to Riddhima, who was always looking, it was obvious. He was lighter, freer, happier in the days following Simran Aunty's arrival. Maybe it was because of her or maybe it was because of the frequent visits of one Suhana Dixit who Riddhima was sure at this point was Armaan's daughter, even if not in blood (and that had been a surprise, hadn't it? That Sonakshi was married with a daughter. Riddhima didn't know the details, but she did know that Sonakshi and her husband had also separated at some point and had only just gotten back together a few months ago after years apart. It gave her hope, though she tried to snuffle it tightly. Just because Sonakshi had gotten her husband back did not mean that Riddhima had a chance too. Yet, she could not help but hope.)

She let herself be swept away in the excitement of the wedding, welcoming the distraction. There was something so soothing about all the hustle and bustle around her and she sought it whenever she could. She started spending all her time surrounded by others, never alone, not even when everyone retired for the day for some much needed sleep. Being around people gave her the liberty to not think about Armaan or how bad things were between the two of them, and she would do anything for things to remain that way.

Riddhima knew that she was being a coward, but she couldn't help herself. She knew that the mature thing would be to talk it out with Armaan, but maybe she was counting on the security that Rahul and Muskaan's relationship brought with it. Earlier, she'd been scared that maybe this would be the end of everything. She'd already been through it many times before, but she wouldn't have been able to handle it once more, she didn't think. But, with Rahul finally confessing to Muskaan and them being a couple, she was secure in the knowledge that Armaan would never be completely out of her life like he had been before. Which meant that it was okay if she didn't talk to Armaan to make things better immediately. It was better like this anyway, she mused. She could give Armaan all the space he wanted.

But still, despite being surrounded by so many people, with so much happiness, she could not help feeling extremely lonely whenever she looked at Armaan. She longed to be with him, even if just as a friend. She wanted to be by his side as he married his sister off, wanted to be a part of his joy that she'd found the love of her life and the pain that came with sending her away. She wanted to support him in everything. But, alas! She wouldn't be able to. She contented herself to watch from the sidelines, happy to find happiness in Armaan's smiles to others.

"Are you and Armaan okay?" Padma asked her one morning. Riddhima shrugged, not knowing what to say.

"Riddhima... you should talk to him once. Aise kab tak chalega?" Padma pressed.

"Maa, he's mad at me. And rightly so. Plus, his sister is getting married. He should concentrate on that and not me," Riddhima replied. "It's not like we won't see each other after this. I'll talk to him some other time. Ab toh we'll keep seeing each other because of Rahul and Muskaan. There's no hurry."

"So, just because you'll see him later, you'll just let things go sour?" Padma questioned. "I know you're trying to give him space to process everything, but shouldn't you at least try to make things better?"

"I will," Riddhima promised. "I won't let this sit between us like this, Maa. Even if things cannot go back to the way they were before, I will make things right. We can't let this incident make things worse. Rahul and Muskaan deserve better."

"Armaan deserves better too, Riddhima," her mother replied. "You never should have tried to keep this from him. I understand why he feels betrayed and I know you do too. I also know that you've apologized to him, but you have to try harder. You have to earn his trust now, have to show him that you won't ever do something like this again."