"They'll remember us in legends and stories."
(marauders era (and past gens) oneshots)
(includes reader-inserts & non reader inserts)
(more info inside)
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SUMMARY: Getting over a loved ones death is never easy and for someone they're never able to move on
WARNING(S): Mentions of death, grief, angst and bittersweet fluff, gender-neutral!reader
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He watched as a flash of green flew from the Death Eaters wand towards you and in that moment, time seemed to slow as he kicked the Death Eater in front of him off of him and he ran towards you. You, who was too busy fighting off two other Death Eaters, didn't notice the one who aimed a curse behind you. It felt like forever until he was an arms length away from but it was too late. Your body went stiff and your eyes widened, your wand fell from your grasp and hit the ground as you started lose balance.
"No, no, no (Y/N)!" Sirius practically screamed as he ran towards you, catching you just mere seconds before you hit the ground.
Death Eaters started to aim towards him but he didn't care, causing his friends to quickly rush over and protect him as he cradled your head. Tears streamed down his cheeks as he prayed to whatever deity was up there. Prayed for you to open your eyes and be alright, prayed for you to be alive again but it didn't work. You laid lifelessly in his arms as he cried.
"Sirius, Sirius we have to go!" He heard James say as he struggled to hold off a Death Eater from coming close to him.
Sirius only shook his head, holding you closer to him as he cried harder. He didn't even notice that another Order member had apparated them back to the Order Headquarters. There he begged for a healer even he knew that there was nothing he could do to bring back the dead.
He didn't sleep that night. Or eat. He just laid on his bed, tears staining his pillow as he looked at the empty patch on the bed that you were supposed to be sleeping in. He couldn't handle it, couldn't handle staying in the house he once called because it was no longer home without you in it.
James and Lily found him on their couch the next morning. They didn't even question him, just made him a plate of breakfast - though he only had one bite of it before heading back to the couch - and gave him the guest bedroom. He spent a month with them before he even went outside.
"I'm going for a ride. Don't wait for me." He told them before hopping onto his motarbike and riding off.
He didn't know where he was headed. He just wanted to get away from the area for a while, to ease his mind. By the time he stopped the sun was about to set and he was at a cliff overlooking the ocean. His heart ached when a certain memory of your first date with him at this exact location popped into his head. It was painful for him to sit in the exact spot where he had first kissed you without you beside him. As the sun set, Sirius leaned back against the rocky cliff and inhaled the salty breeze.
He arrived back at the Potters house a little past midnight expecting for them to be asleep but instead they sat in the living room waiting for him. A sigh of relief could be heard from them when they saw Sirius finally walk through the front door but they didn't say anything.
They all missed you but everyone had a different way of grieving. James would release his anger playing Quidditch, trying his best not to break down when he remembers playing with you. Lily would cry at night when she should be asleep, suddenly feeling alone that she didn't have her best friend there to comfort her. Remus would keep himself busy at all possible times just so he couldn't have anytime to think about you only for all the pain to hit at once when you weren't there to hand him a coffee or some chocolate after overworking himself. You were such a big part of the Marauders lives but they didn't notice just how much until you were gone. Sirius probably grieved the worst out of the four of them. The two of you were rarely apart and even when you were, it was only for a brief while. He couldn't even bring himself to go back to the house you once lived with him for another month and even when he did go back, he immediately broke down after closing the door behind him.
He found himself back at that cliff often, just sitting there and talking to you as if you were there. He could never bring himself to go to your grave but even if he could, he knew you wouldn't be there. You'd be somewhere you felt free, somewhere you have made countless memories at, somewhere Sirius often found himself going back to; the cliff. It was there that he found himself to feel at peace. Though it was nowhere near happiness, it was enough to keep him alive for the next few years.
When he was thrown into Azkaban for a murder he didn't commit, he didn't fight. There was no point in fighting a corrupt system. He thought it was the end. Hell he believed it was the end. That he'd finally be reunited with you again. For 12 years he stayed in Azkaban, not bothering to escape because why would he want to escape only to continue living without you. He knew he could escape though. He could easily turn into Padfoot and slip through the bars but what was the point. There was nothing for him to live for, so what was the point. That was, until he heard of Voldemort's return and wanting to attack Harry and for the first time in many years, Sirius Black found a reason to escape.
Though his initial meeting with his godson didn't go as planned, Sirius saw so much of James and Lily in the boy that he smiled for the first time. A genuine smile. Through Harry, he was able to find his sense of hope and he silently thanked James and Lily for Harry, thanked them for leaving him some hope when he thought he had lost it all.
He promised the boy everything from a home to a family. Deep down, he knew that it was a little too much to promise especially during a time like this but he didn't care. 'I'm moving on' he'd think to himself but just as Sirius thought he was finally holding onto happiness it was ripped away from him during the Battle of the Department of Mysteries. It seemed to take him an age to fall as he sank backwards through the veil. Harry's face fell when he saw him smile one last time before completely going through the dark abyss of the veil.
He waited. Waited for Sirius to step back out because he'd come out, right?
He didn't.
Had it not been for Remus, Harry would've ran through the veil. He struggled, kicked and cried for Remus to let him go but his grip only tightened as he fought back his own tears. First he lost you, then James and Lily, now Sirius and though he was surrounded by many people, he felt alone.
On the other side of the veil, Sirius awoke in the corridors of Hogwarts on the ground. The usually crowded halls weer empty leaving him alone as he got up from the ground and started to walk around. He didn't make it far, only making about a few feet away from where he had woken up when he heard it. Heard the voice of the person he hasn't quite gotten over these past few years. "Sirius?"
He turned around, facing you with a smile as you ran towards him. "Oh my love, I've missed you so much." He mumbled into your hair as held you in his arms. The hug lasted for what felt like ages but neither if you cared. When you did pull away it wasn't fully, his arms still wrapped around you as he looked at the face he's missed all these years. You looked just as young as when you died, not aging a single bit.
"You've gotten older." You murmured as you stroke his cheek. He laughed softly before connecting his lips onto yours. It's been years since he's been able to do this and now that it was happening, he couldn't be more happier.
"I wish it was with you' He wanted to say but fought against saying it.
