The Fifth Member (Little Mix/Perrie Edwards GxG)

Chapter 31

Beth's POV:

I woke up the next morning feeling very confused and plainly weird.

Yesterday was partly a good day and partly a bad day.

I made big progress in talking about my family and I really, without even trying too hard, managed not to cry or be that sad anymore. I guess I got used to it.

My kiss with Perrie would normally be perceived as positive as well but I can't see it like that.

Even if I made a lot of progress, I'm still not the right person for Perrie. For anyone really. I won't be able to care for her. Even if I finally closed the chapter of my family's loss, I still have very strong mental issues. Anorexia and the scars from bullying. Connected with that will also be my family's situation money wise and what they always said to us.

It's hard to not think about it. I try everyday to move on from it all. But it's so hard when I still can't eat without the thought of everything my bullies said to me.

"With what money did you buy this? Did you steal it?"

"Oh you finally have a proper lunch packed! We can rearrange the natural order here. Hillary, the lunch does look delicious doesn't it? Thanks Beth. We'll be enjoying ourselves with it."

How I loathe you, Kristen.

When I found out that She is the one willing to spill my life story, I really wasn't surprised. I mean, she destroyed my life anyways, why not continue?

However back to my original thought. Perrie will forever hate me if we get into a relationship. With time I would lose my filter around her. And that can't happen.

I almost told her about my first trip to the hospital due to my anorexia.

It's too good to be true. Someone like Perrie, could never in a million years, like someone like me. She's probably looking for comfort and love because of her recent breakup which by the way, I'm still planning Zayn's death for.

An idiot like him managed to get Perrie and then he does this?

I shook my head. I should have beaten him up the first time I saw him.

I made breakfast. As I cooked I thought about how we'd act around each other now. I will continue to act normal unless she's acting differently.

After I finished Perrie luckily came in. I didn't plan on waking her up since today we had nothing to do. The food would've gotten cold though so it's good she stood up.

"Morning." She smiled lazily at me.

"Morning." I smiled back and sat down on the couch in the living room.

"Beth." She said. I know exactly what she wants.

"Fine." I stood up and sat down at the table with her and filled my plate up just a little bit.

Perrie instead of complaining just took my plate and filled it up till she was satisfied.

"I'm definitely not gonna eat all that." I said.

"Oh yeah you will. You won't stand up till it's done." She said.

I raised an eyebrow. We'll see about that Perrie.

"We don't have anything planned today right?" She asked.

I shook my head, "Not officially but Claud and I planned to meet up in the studio so he could teach me the choreography for the tour again. As you know it takes me longer to pick it up." I said.