Forelsket ~ GeorgeNotFound

The Discussion

Clay's POV

"What is he doing?" Nick whispered and I quickly shushed him, which only resulted in him swatting my hand away and giving me a look.

"I don't know" I whispered back and glanced at him. George sat there and just looked down at the gravestone before looking up at the sky. We couldn't hear him but he was clearly talking. We could only hear soft rambling. "I think he's talking to her?"
"Oh" Nick pursed his lips and turned back to me. "Should we go then?" He clearly wanted to leave him alone. I could tell by his body language this entire time. I nodded and softly smiled. We turned and began to walk away. Both confused.

George's POV

I sat down and tensed up, just staring at the grave in front of me. I took a deep breath and looked up at the sky, and the stars were really bright. I smiled softly thinking about all of the things Deena had told me about Miranda and the stars. I sat there for a few minutes before I went to speak, but only choked up on my words, so I cleared my throat.

"Um" I looked down at my hands and played with my fingers. "Hi Miranda, I'm uh-"

I started to choke up again and felt my throat close up. My body got hot and it felt like I was sweating but I was cold at the same time. I took a few deep breaths and closing my eyes. The small breeze was calming and the sound of the trees was as well.

"I'm sorry" my voice cracked and my eyes began to water. "Oh god here I go" I chuckled softly and blinked a few times to stop myself from crying, which was no good.

"I'm sorry for being an absolute dick to Denise. And I know you're probably so pushed off at me and I know- I know I messed up. But I don't know what to do now, they're all furious with me. And I think I hurt her more than I have ever hurt anyone. It's just- I don't know why I said what I said. And there's no excuse to back it up. I fucked up. And that's it. I didn't realize I was coming here. I walked for about thirty minutes and ended up here so here I am. Apologizing. And again, I'm sorry." I stopped for a minute again and took in the situation I was in. I'm sitting here at her best friends grave apologizing. This is all I could do.

"She misses you.. a lot. She acts like she's okay, and of course she is having a good time when we do things but, it's so obvious how broken she is. She blames herself. She talks in her sleep often. Mumbling 'it's my fault' and 'please don't leave'. She puts up a front in front of me and the guys that she's happy, but I know she's only content. I don't think she's talked to Ian much either. I think it hurts her because you all were friends. But I do find her genuinely smiling and laughing when ever we talk about the stars. She told me about your 'starry nights' you would have. She told me how you'd tell her the 'stories if the sky'. She tells me the ones she remembers, and I listen and let her, even though I already know it. That's because I get to see her happy. I get to see Deena really happy." I looked up and saw the constellation 'the fox', which Deena had told me before that was Miranda's favorite.

"The fox. What was its name... Vulpecula. You liked that one. Deena said you loved orange foxes because your hair. Your hair was really pretty. Redheads aren't as common as they used to be. She looks for the fox every night we go look at the stars. Oh! The cottage we rented? It has a cool balcony on the roof with a couple of lawn chairs. She really likes it up there; So do I." I stopped speaking and took a deep breath in. I stared at the star engraved on her stone and wiped my face, along with the many tears that sat there.

"I'm sorry this happened. You didn't deserve it" I stood up and looked down again. "And I'm sorry again, for hurting Dee. I do really like her and I never meant to hurt her."

With that I walked away. I kept my hands in my pockets as the breeze cooled my face. It seemed more calm now, I seemed more calm. Thinking about everything, I don't want to leave. I want to figure out how to make it up to everyone, especially Deena. Is there a way that I can? At all? Or is there no point. Soon enough I found myself back at the door and I walked inside, quickly going to my room and sitting down. My phone was still on the other side of the room, broken. I got up and walked up to it before picked it up, trying to turn it on. It didn't turn on, but a piece of glass slipped into my finger.

"Fuuuuuu-" I whispered and rushed into the bathroom. I pulled it out carefully and held my finger under running water to stop the bleeding. I sighed and closed my eyes, taking a few deep breaths. I made my way back into my room and once again, sat down on the edge of the bed. I looked next to me and saw the remote, grabbing it and turning on the tv, quickly going to YouTube and playing music. I didn't exactly have a phone to play music with so this was the next best thing. I shuffled "my mix" and There, There by Radiohead started playing, only making me think of Deena.

I need to make it up to them soon. I'm going to destroy myself if I keep letting it eat me away.

(A/N: when I was writing this I almost made Miranda appear and talk to him but I feel like that would have made it too weird lol.)