Chapter 122
Koda's Thoughts
It was July. The boys were on tour again. All went back to normal relatively fast; we all were really too busy to mope around. I was out at the moment with Brad and Alexi. They were staring and cheering graciously at a woman they saw.
This was the fifth dress she tried on. It had a tight wrap with a flowing end and sequins all over it. Her hair was in a braid, all her natural highlights apparent. She looked .....
"Stunning! Stunning!" Brad clapped as he stood to approach this girl. Me. He played with my braid, moving it around my shoulder and twisting my little piece by my ear. "You look beautiful."
"If wedding dresses were normal attire, I would personally buy you all kinds." Alexi complemented from his seat. His lips were spread in a grin and his hands were clasped over his crossed knee.
"Me too." Brad said, nodding at him.
Me and Brad stared at me through the full body mirror. I moved my arms, picked up the end of the dress, swiveled in the mirror.
"You said open back right?" Brad asked.
"Yeah," I said. "And I was thinking lace sleeves?"
He nodded. "Two sleeves or just one?" He patted my arms.
I shrugged. "Two. The open back may look weird with that. Plus I've got to manage how much skin I expose. Elegance not trampish."
We laughed.
"Alright." He said. "You like this material?"
I nodded.
װוװוװו
So, our date was final.
August 1.
Our venue was set.
Ocean-cliff scene.
Our colors, except for the one accent color, were set.
Black and white.
All we needed was to begin sending invitations and go cake tasting and all the mechanics of a wedding. Brad and Alexi volunteered to be our wedding planners; you can't say no to two sweet and incredibly ingenious gay men who would hook you up with whatever you wanted!
I laid in bed after showering in Zach's white sweater that he left for me. I left the balcony open to his room where I lay, with the moon as my witness and the trees as my guardians as I got on my knees and prayed. I'm not incredibly religious, but I do Believe, and pray here and there. I was praying for thanks, for forgiveness; for hope and protection and safety. I was confessing my sins, I was alleviating my soul, taking a weight away. I told God of my troubles, though he already knew. And, you know, I think God just waits for us to admit to our mistakes to see if we really will. What you do when no one's looking still counts.
I prayed for hope and protection for my boys, and that whatever pain they were experiencing to seize. I didn't name names, not at first, but it was Jesse whom I prayed for on that note. I was going to talk to him before our wedding to settle anything we had not already.
"Thank You." I said after thirty minutes on the floor. I crawled back into Zach's bed and fell asleep.
August 1 was three weeks away.
An eternity.
