Koda's Thoughts
Drifting asleep alone in my bed was hard for a couple of reasons:
A) my body was aching after today's do with Jess
B) I wanted someone to lay with me, but I was torn between my bang-buddy and my actual boyfriend.
Just hearing myself say that was like having salt water shoved forcefully down the back of your throat; it burns, it's definitely a problem, and it causes way more issues if you let it happen. I was letting this deal with Jesse happen and I haven't really considered why.
Do I love Jesse?
Of course I do. I always have, but not apparently like he feels for me.
Why am I letting this happen?
Just as I was about to go through my next answering process, my phone lit up by my bed. I lifted it to my face. I thought I saw Jesse's name, but my eyes weren't adjusted enough to tell.
Jesse: hey r u up?
I nodded. It was him.
Me: Indeed I am Mr. Rutherford.
Jesse: me too, duh :p, but im not alone ;)
Me: What are you implying Mr. Rutherford?
I laid there and waited as he typed. Finally, a message appeared that sent chills to my center.
Jesse: I want you.
My jaw dropped. Three little words, the lust version of it's cousin, love, talking to me through Jesse James Rutherford's mouth. All I could type back was a lame-ass:
Me: really?
Jesse: Oh Babygirl. even tho Ur halfway down the hall, I culd still hear u gasp aftr reading tht.
Me: I didn't gasp.
Jesse: tell me what a gasp is
I crinkled my brow. He definitely jumped around a lot.
Me: A gasp generally is a sign of shock, fear, or excitement that is relayed through a sharp intake of breath through the mouth to the lungs.
Jesse: it was definitely a gasp of excitement I heard.
Me: I didn't gasp though.
Jesse: I no u didnt, Ur sweet little playplace did.
I cut off the screen and clutched the phone to my chest. Had I just read that? I looked again and read it while he typed some more.
Jesse: I'd like to b in tht playplace to feel the tight squeeze of u over me. Those slick walls, the tight physique. Damn. I'd f u thru the wall if I culd babe, don't think I wont.
Me: Oh Jesse.......
Jesse: and u no I could f u from here. This big donkey could still make u choke while I laid in my own bed with u doors away.
I was excited, no doubt by this.
Me: And you're sure?
Jesse: Ur mind asks but Ur body already knows that I can.
I could take no more.
Me: Goodnight Jesse.
A moment later.......
Jesse: fck me in Ur dreams tonight. We all no ill b doing the same to u. Xxxxxxxx
I turned the phone all the way off and sat it on the table. Holy damn that just happened. Yes, I know you'll fuck me in your dreams tonight, and I need to feed the desire in the pits of my stomach from the thoughts. But, still
Not everyone knows what is going on behind these walls and doors.
