I hadn't been in a funeral home in years. The travesty of such a nice building with tear-soaked days made it feel as if it had a constant cloud over it. Today though, there were grey skies out to our East that were rolling in. It might just rain today.
Other people I didn't yet recognize went in ahead of us as I pulled the veil down. The NBHD followed me into the Greek columned, red-bricked building; the feeling of rejection flipping my stomach inside-out. I haven't had anything to do with Brook or my biological mother's side of the family since mom's death, but that was something I couldn't help. I looked for her every year as best I could, but nothing would ever turn up. Of course I feared rejection from all these people here. Of course I had every reason to.
Light flower fragrance noticed the six of us before anyone else did, but it didn't take long. Each one of them stared with curiosity and worry, then unconcealed dislike for me and my company.
"They whisper and stare like we don't see them." Jeremy hushed.
"Or hear them." Bryan whispered back.
"Hi." a woman came around to greet us. "Who are you?"
"I'm Koda."
Everyone froze. The air stopped, the walls halted their listening. All eyes around every corner stared in disbelief. No one spoke. No one moved. I think even the dead stopped being dead for a minute.
"Koda?" she asked again.
"Yes." I answered. "And these are my family members."
It was as if I didn't say the last part. She waved her hands around her face and kept repeating, "You're here! Oh gawd, you're here!"
I saw a small, scraggly looking woman emerge from a room. I made eye contact with her and recognized her as my grandma. She rushed and hugged me, and as I looked behind her shoulder, I saw a red-haired woman staring me down from across the room.
"How long has it been?" my grandma asked.
"Too long." I said
"How old are you?" her voice was still raspy like I remembered.
"Nineteen."
She cried.
"Well," Grandma nudged toward where I suppose Brook was. I nodded, but it wasn't long after I got in there that I was crying into Zach's shoulder. I didn't need to look at her, didn't want to remember her this way, for all I needed was to see that casket that was just too small. I sobbed and followed Grandma back out to the front of the building, but not after making heated eye contact again with the red-haired woman.
"So how have you been?" my Grandma asked. I told her the run-around of things and talked with her a while. The sky was greying even more and we talked about that before I heard someone storming around the corner.
"Excuse me." it was the red-haired woman. Her eyes screamed volumes of hate for me.
"Yes?" I answered.
"Just what the fuck are you doing here?"
I was knocked off-guard.
"What?" I asked.
"You filthy whore, you know what I said. You're not supposed to be here!"
"At my sister's funeral? Uh, yeah, I think I am supposed to be here."
"April, just calm down." my grandma said behind me.
April. I knew who she was now. One if my mom's cousins.
