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"Okay baby, I'll see you when you get back."
•"Okay. I love you."
"I love you too."
•"Forever and always?"
*pause*
"Forever and always."
*click*
I rubbed my eyes, once again tears in my eyes and down my cheeks. I whimpered and sat my phone on the table. The living room was quiet and desolate except for my sniffling. I exhaled and grabbed the keys and my phone again and headed out for the doctor.
*******
"Dr. Hanna will see you now."
I got up and followed a pretty, long-haired blonde woman down a corridor to a set of rooms. On the white walls were pictures of families and trees, an old timey bike in black and white. Trees in the fall like bright fire on the white.
"Here you are. She'll be with you shortly sweetheart." the woman lead me into Dr. Hanna's room and patted my shoulder as she left. I sat on the medical examiner bed and gazed absently at the room. Cabinets, sterilization kits, a hazardous materials waste-bin. A spiny chair and a laptop computer. There was a photo of Joyce Hanna and her family; two sons, her husband, and their fluffy blonde Golden Retriever. They looked beautiful; a picturesque family. I was drawn to that photo for a long time.
"Hey Ms. Ashleey, how are you?"
Dr. Hanna came in the room and rubbed my shoulder. "Looking a little better I see?"
"Yes I am, sort of. How've you been?"
Dr. H sat in her spiny chair, her white attire fanning out over the seat. She logged into her laptop and grabbed the blood pressure pump and strapped it to me as she spoke.
"Good. I've been good." as she pumped the machine, she looked at my stitches. "You're looking pretty good. No new signs of trauma to the stitches," she nodded then looked at the gauge. "Okay, 112 over 71. Good.
Joyce swung back over to her laptop and implemented the data. "Okay. Just as a new protocol we have to do, I'm going to need to take some of your blood."
"That's fine." I said.
"They did tell you that right?" she called over her shoulder.
I nodded. "Yea, they did."
"Okay."
********
"Okay Koda. Take this paperwork and..." Dr. Hanna's eyes were dim, but glistening. She gave me a smile. "Call me sweetheart if you need anything."
"Okay. Thank you Dr. Hanna." I paused. "For everything."
I walked outside. The wind was blowing and the air smelled of salt and rain. I got in The Mustang and drove home.
******
"Baby!!!!!" I was greeted heftily by my one-and-only fiancée as he ran out of the house to meet me. He hugged me and swung me around, all while the wind blew and the sky darkened.
"Hurry up! The storm's moving in!" Jeremy yelled from the door. I kissed Zach and ran hand-in-hand with him to the door. For a split moment I felt light-hearted and free, but then it was over and I was back on earth.
"Hey." I said to everyone in a rush to find Jesse. He was standing in the walkway between the staircases. I went to him fast and hugged him a little too hard. He was taken back just a little, but it was okay because he hugged me just as equally hard.
"Well hello there!" Bryan came around the corner and hugged me. Once all hugs were aside, I sighed and looked at Jesse. For a long time we stared, a loving stare, the no one else noticed luckily. The front door slammed with Zach's effort to shut the wind out.
"Well," he said patting his sides like a penguin. "We're home." he laughed awkwardly.
"Yes you are." I went over to him and kissed his lips. When I retreated and looked into his eyes, I could see whole-hearted love and compassion. My soul sighed. What have I done?
*******
It had been about two hours since we all got home, and around thirty minutes ago, the power went out. We were sitting in the dark, a few candles lit around the living room to give us light. A hurricane was coming in, not a terribly bad one, but it had already downed power in two other counties around us as well. I sat back, Zach's hand in mine on the couch, with his head on my shoulder as he dozed a little. I stared straight ahead; eyes not wavering in the slightest off the rolling wave of the flame in the candle. Not until, by some force of habit, I looked up and saw Jesse did I ever move. He was staring back at me, his figure cast with shadows and dancing mimics. His chest was bare and his hair was combed back furiously to make it swooped in all of its black and white glory. His eyes shined and glistened as he looked at me. I felt the heat between us and also the regret; something I don't think we'll ever rid ourselves of. And there was something more; something more in those amber tides rolling along across his flesh, in the turn of his body and the placement of his hands on his legs. Something suspicious in his soft, communicative stare that let me know that he too had experienced something to change his ethics. Something in the way he kept my eyes, unflinching, through the loud crack and wail of thunder and lightning outside that lit up the dark living room and then vibrated it. Zach stirred so I petted his head while he took his other hand and tucked two fingers in the belt loop across my waist, just on the other side of my button. I played with his hair for a good, long while before I couldn't take it anymore and woke him up to tell them something. It was sudden, the projection of my voice in all the quietness except for the storm outside in the room.
"Mikey, Bryan, Jeremy... I need to speak with Zach and Jesse alone please." I courageously said. They moved and all walked to their rooms, shutting the doors behind them.
"What's wrong babe?" Zach asked a little sleepily as he stretched and sat up.
Jesse too had leaned out of his position and was on his elbows ready to listen over the fire.
"I," I paused and shut my eyes to prepare for this. "I got some papers back today from the doctor about somethings they found in my blood work."
I looked at them both.
"Okay...and?" Z urged on.
I unfolded the papers out of my pocket and flipped them to the second and third pages. "They ran the tests three separate times and took another vile of blood just to make sure. They said the accuracy is ninety-eight percent spot on. That's why I didn't get home until after you guys."
"What do they say?" Zach leaned over to look at them, trying to decipher what he saw. "What does all of this mean babydoll? I don't understand."
I shed more tears. Jesse moved to the edge of the other couch to sit closer to me and took my hand in his. I looked in his eyes. "Is everything okay?"
I cried then looked at the papers some more. "Look you guys, I don't know how else to say......."
"...Baby, are you okay?"
"Zach," I looked at him then at Jesse. "I'm pregnant."
"Oh, well that's good news-"
"-with Jesse's baby."
