Chapter 126~HØNEST~Part III of III
JESSE'S THOUGHTS
I was standing outside, on the cliff face, just looking out over the ocean and the ruby red sun glowing over the crystal blue water. It was times like this when you couldn't tell where the Earth ended and Heaven began. It was a time like this when I wrote 'West Coa$t'. I sighed and breathed in the breeze.
The wedding had gradually turned into a smooth and comfortable party. People were walking around on the beach down below and at the venue. Behind me, off to my left, there were a few people walking and talking. They paid me no mind.
I had since changed into one of my leather jackets that I haven't worn in a while. I stuffed my hands in my pockets and immediately felt something cold and something soft in one of them. I pulled them out, and as soon as I saw the chain, I knew EXACTLY what it was. I smiled at it.
Remember a LONG time ago, when I was in my room writing and something flew in my room and hit the wall behind my desk? I picked it up, poked a hole through the base and threaded my chain through it and then stuffed it in my jacket pocket on the back of my chair? Well, it was a feather. A red feather.
I would've overlooked it before. I would've tossed it out, back out to where it came from, without a second thought. But because we can no longer see red feathers in a normal light anymore , I didn't. It was a symbol of the Scarlet Ibis; something Zach refers to Koda as all of the time. When it hit my wall, I KNEW it had to mean something. It could've been any feather, any color, at any time, or could've just not have happened at all, but it did. I thought of it as a sign- a sign that I was supposed to be with Koda, that she was to be MY Scarlet Ibis, and that WE were to be together. Thinking back on it now, I smiled at the memory.
The breeze blew and the ocean roared below. I unclasped the chain and pulled it through the base of the feather until I held it alone in one hand. I twisted the base of the feather in between my thumb and my forefinger as I had when it hit my wall that day. Another strong gust made the ends of my hair and the feather wave tenderly.
I released the feather, and watched as it floated and turned gently with the wind. This was far more than me releasing just some random bird feather into the atmosphere, or loosing part of a necklace I thought I was going to wear. As that feather tumbled and became a smaller and smaller tumbling red figure, I began to realize that, with that feather went all my troubles. There went all of my doubt, my guilt, my ill mistakes...ALL of those negativities from the last few months that bended and twisted our lives forever. With that symbol of my greedy love for a Scarlet Ibis I knew was not mine went all the heartbreak and tear shed. Went all the pain and suffering of living with your mistakes. I guess you can call it turning over a new leaf. Or releasing your troubles to a higher power.
I sighed and put my hands back in my pockets. I could no longer see it, just only imagine where it was now. I smiled in the general direction, then turned to walk back to the wedding.
As I walked, I realized something else that day. Something that freed my heart forever. I will never forget that feeling for as long as I live.
I had finally
let
her
go.
~THĘ ĘÑÐ~
